It’s just one sentence but they’re all working on TESVI and “loving it and playing it every day” is it’s in a playable state!!! Oh my god this is fantastic news!!!

ass out flower ate this is how i like pollinate

Like a balloon long after the party is over, floating just above the floor, pushed by unseen forces, going from room to room looking for snacks

Honestly, it’s my fault for getting up this morning.

my solution to everything today is gonna be put it in the dishwasher

Me in the drive thru this morning Person: will that be all? Me: yes, thank you, that’s everything Person: okay pull forward to the first window Me: okay thank you, you too. OH UHHHHHH

Gooby nighty my little fruit bats 🦇

Yeah that detective chief inspector is completely corrupt and in the council’s pocket. They say “jump” and he says “to which conclusion?”

When a horror novel features an animal and that animal doesn’t play at least some part in helping the protagonist against whatever the scary thing is, I am mad at that horror novel.

Spam call came through so loudly and suddenly while I’m reading another scary book I nearly hurled my phone into the sun

the two outfits for men

These outbreaks are going to keep happening and they’re going to happen more often. Unless we get regulations, monitoring, enforcement, and public health tracking back in place this is a runaway train.

Me to me: act normal Me: but I normally act abnormal Both mes: oh no

The dopest thing is when you know a character in an old sitcom would say trans rights

Does anyone else slink around like a frightened cat when you get uncomfortable socially?

When a cat is a prophet

It’s weird how I just know that having My Person in my life is going to make me less self conscious. I don’t interact with my niblings much bc Kids Focus On You when you talk to them and yikes. But with my gf I will be brave enough somehow. I just know. Isn’t that dumb? lol

Seeing roaches at work is so normal to me now (water testing and roaches fucking love water) that when I encounter one I just nod and mumble “oh, excuse me”

Mom: okay so tell me if this room layout works for you. Me: well moving my chair on this side of the room here puts a huge glare on the tv and since I’m the only one who plays games and uses the tv consistently- Mom: that’s too bad, you’ll just have to deal with it. THEN WHY DID YOU ASK??

You know what’s funny is my voice sounds out loud like what it’s always sounded like in my head 🥹

I sang for my friend and she didn’t immediately respond okay that’s it I’m moving into a cave goodbye world

Reminder, cops aren't supposed to kill guilty people either. There is no reforming policing. Policing as we know it, needs to be abolished.

Omg I’m at the end of the spooky book, almost done and all I have to say is OMG!!!!!! Maybe I’m terrible at seeing what’s coming next but I did NOT see that coming!!!

Please be safe with your food. Don’t eat salads!!

Salvatore Cheeseburger

Audiobooks count as reading, btw ✨

Bad things are happening in all my books and I am In A Mood.

OOF this new spooky book is going HARD right from the start!

I want to rewatch the musical Cats (which you’ll recall I own on VHS) but I’ll need a special-feelings lady person to watch it with me bc I will absolutely need to be snuggled when the evil cat comes on stage bc that son of a bitch still scares me

That special baby puppy yip that a big dog does when their person comes home? That’s me when My Special Peeps talk to me.

The S-Tier anxiety of showing someone a comedian you love

Oh awesome, my bacon AND my dried fruit are spoiled. Cool cool cool.

Okay apparently it isn’t going to rain which I’m sad about BUT it will continue to be dark and cloudy :)

And, as always, I am extremely cute today 🥹

Also, it’s going to rain either just as I’m driving home or right when I get home and I am HERE FOR IT!

My go-to response at work has become “sure thing!”

Oh and about being a sword and shield warrior in DA: Inquisition: ITS SO AWESOME! Bonking peeps with my sword is soooo fun! And unlike rogue where you just cycle through your routine, you have to actually react to what your enemy is doing

This isn’t really news but when I moved somehow I didn’t get one issue of Gameinformer magazine but I just spoke with customer service and they’re sending a replacement. Yay!!

you can't change your dna. but i can. im literally changing it right now. watch this. hnnngggh. gggnnnnnghh. hyrrrrrkkhhhhnngggg. graaggghhhhhhhhhhhggg

(twirling a lasso above my head): hey come here for a sec

Big day tomorrow! A full work day. It’s a very common type of day but it’s always hard for me.

You guys need to shame me into better financial habits but don’t shame me so much that I cry

Operator: 911 what is your emergency Me: I feel lonely Operator: Benny we talked about this

menopause? perimenopause?!?

Something that really crushes me is when people just assume that I’m stupid. I mean I’m sure nobody likes that, but it happens a lot at home and I hate it.

Fucked that there are a million songs about love but only one about baking me a cake as fast as you can

[ant, watching another ant die from eating borax] That probably won't happen when I eat borax.

BREAKING: NYC Mayor Mamdani signs new law that says you don't have to go to work if your pet is asleep on you or just being extra cute.

skincare is very important

losing my mind at how ruthless this sentence is