gray phantom 🩶
@boob.monster
📤 4415
📥 320
📝 13301
home of the best worst comics on the internet
pinned post!
morpheus voice: you take the blue pill, you wake up in math class with a huge boner and believe whatever you want to believe. you take the red pill, you stay at this denny's and i show you how grand the slam really is
7 months ago
8
581
210
im not even going nowhere this is shower makeup
about 6 hours ago
11
70
1
stay in shadow by finger eleven except I'm singing the chorus as RAAAAACHEL MAAAAAADDOW
about 13 hours ago
1
3
0
fuuuuck ive literally been playing mlb the show all day. like i cant believe it. i cant believe i got sucked back into this fucking game. god damnit
1 day ago
0
11
1
after much reflection i have decided that im a femboy now
1 day ago
1
25
0
i don't care how annoying she is, chappell roan with the bare titties under a sheer mesh top got me turning into la creatura and im not ashamed to admit it
1 day ago
3
41
0
[system of a down voice] THEY'RE TRYING TO PET A KITTEN. THEY'RE TRYING TO PET A KITTEN. THEY'RE TRYING TO PET A KITTEN
2 days ago
1
25
4
FFS was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. every time i catch a look in the mirror even on bad days im like. damn. thats me
2 days ago
2
31
1
here's my official busch gardens tampa roller coaster ranking 1) sheikra 2) cheetah hunt 3) kumba 4) montu 5) cobra's curse 6) sandserpent 7) scorpion 8) tigris
2 days ago
1
4
0
alright seems like i gotta start muting the fuck out of people filling my feed with politics shit again. that fucking sucks
2 days ago
0
8
0
this is me af
2 days ago
1
19
0
my love life is like JFK: i be giving Head til i get Blasted
3 days ago
0
5
0
session 9 was so sick like the ghost demon was like do it gordy and he was all like im gonna kill my fuckin wife. thats fucked
3 days ago
0
4
0
someone please kill me why do my drafts look like this
3 days ago
5
62
11
im givin ya a big ol' sniff
3 days ago
0
8
0
can one of my moots just hurry up and date me so i can be done with this goofy shit bro i fucking hate these apps
3 days ago
4
28
1
this is diabolical rizz like what is this
3 days ago
3
40
0
yes i preordered MLB The Show 26 and yes i will be immediately hitting fat dongers at midnight tomorrow and yes i am excited about it. fuck with me
3 days ago
2
15
0
you can choose your friends, and you can shit your ass, but you can't shit your friend's ass
4 days ago
2
15
0
i'm sorry bam adebayo did WHAT? 83 fucking points????
4 days ago
2
7
0
everybody always talk about what an ass hole smells like but how come nobody ever talk about what a dikc hole smells like. tonight....on x-files
4 days ago
1
10
0
not high effort enough for the femmes, not alt enough for the goth girls, not weird enough for the art hoes. my existence is pain
4 days ago
3
21
1
[sting voice] i hope myyyyyyy dick don't break, fuckin on the moon
4 days ago
0
7
0
pinball league tonight which means mama's getting the spicy burger from a new hampshire dairy queen
4 days ago
3
25
0
if you're playing cine2nerdle and someone tries to sink you in the gotti trap just remember Kelly Preston was in battlefield earth. and jerry maguire. but more importantly battlefield earth
4 days ago
0
4
0
right about now. funk chode brother
5 days ago
1
32
3
old piece of shit whistled at me from down the bar. fuck you man
5 days ago
1
7
0
there is a small child upstairs here at the pinball area and she just looked at me and then at the top of her lungs went "AGHHHHHHHHHGHHHH" and I think I laughed so hard i spit in her face. i can't handle this shit when I've had drinks in me hahahahahaha
5 days ago
0
14
0
yr favorite stupid bitch is at it again
5 days ago
1
35
0
you are not immune to the class representative
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
0
14
0
need to kiss a girl while listening to rammstein's "herzeleid"
6 days ago
2
8
0
washed my sheets and made my bed. please clap
6 days ago
3
24
0
this account is protected by the rofl air force and their roflcopters and the rofl battalions lead by colonel edward rofl and the lol legions backed up with the lol squadrons all protecting its leader microsoft sam
6 days ago
2
9
1
if you ever wanted to kiss a girl who just got all sweaty and stinky sim racing real hard and then crashing into a wall now's your chance
6 days ago
1
15
0
neeky has needed to be close to me ever since tuukka left us. he knows his brother is gone. he is here to comfort me just as much as he needs to be near me to feel safe. i am here for you my buddy. we will get through it together
6 days ago
0
25
0
pic related. it's kittysmall
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
0
15
1
remember livestrong bracelets. well im bringing them back but better this time. im calling it....kittysmall
6 days ago
0
3
1
when thom yorke said "kitty....kitty...." at the start of everything in its right place, i felt that
6 days ago
0
6
0
[thom yorke voice] sometimes you poooooooooost
6 days ago
0
4
0
an ancient ghostly exorcist who shows up just to hold your baby when you say his name three times. call that beetlepapoose
7 days ago
0
3
0
tramp stamp that says "i'd rather be sucking dick with my butt"
7 days ago
0
16
2
when you have to use the crosswalk to get to your yogurt smoothie. call that danimals crossing
7 days ago
0
13
1
your teeth, my neck
7 days ago
0
5
0
i just think i deserve a kiss. thats all. one kiss
7 days ago
2
18
2
i shall givest thou a nickel, if thou wouldst tickle my pickle
7 days ago
0
6
0
guy wearing a yankees sweater at a bruins-capitals game. what the fuck are you doing bro. take a long walk off a short pier
7 days ago
1
12
0
getting "I love your jersey!" from several men at the hockey game got me feeling like 🥰🥰🥰🥰
7 days ago
0
11
0
i look like a freakin spunchlin. but im watching my sweet bruin boyz so im happy
7 days ago
2
36
0
i fucked up. I ordered two high noons at the garden like oh yeah high noons are small I'll just get two and sit on em. well I wasn't paying attention and when I turned around the guy had two of the tallest fattest high noon cans ive ever seen. so I guess I'm getting hammered at the hockey
7 days ago
1
15
0
it's time for das brojeles
7 days ago
0
5
0
im awake!!!!!
8 days ago
0
7
0
Load more
feeds!
log in