okay I just finished The Open Door and so far Fallen is still the definitive Evanescence album imho. i really like the guitar tone on this record but the songs themselves didn't resonate as much with me for whatever reason

that agony is your triumph

shania twain for anthromorphs be like "Dog! I Feel Like A Kitty"

and i need them sucked expeditiously

i have big fat fucking tits

mozzarella dicks

if mike rowe had been a lesbian his name would have been dyke rowe and dirty jobs would have just been a show about eating lots of pussy

do not EVER say the word fuck. its a bad word. dont do it. if i ever catch you saying fuck your days are over. dont even fucking think about it

my local unos pizzeria closed so i decided to try to recreate rattlesnake pasta in my own

look you know high energy stuff is great and we all love trance but wheres the fucking chill out rooms. i want the DJ to be dropping some moby why does my heart feel so bad. i want to hear groove armada at the river. i want to hear slowly by amon tobin. make it happen you FUCKS

what's good

grog time

[frankie boyle voice] they say you should never meet your heroes, and they're right. i met mine, and she fucked my asshole

in 2012 i saw metric live on their synthetica tour and seeing emily haines bathed in soft blue light pleading to the crowd "is this my life? am i breathing underwater?" changed me in a lot of ways i wasn't equipped to accept at that time

won't you dance with me? the night will melt away

your slightly chunky gf asks if you want to go get pizza. do you accept y/n

im pinning. and let's just say....my balls. or something. whatever. im playing pinball, is what im trying to say

we fly high, no lie, you know this

why im not sleepy though. why would this jappen

me when im boymoding at the pinball tournament

remember when going to gamestop used to be fuckin sick. like it was tight as hell going to gamestop, especially at the mall. now going to gamestop sucks

im starting my new thing where i talk shit about generally beloved games on purpose and in a way so as to inflict as much psychic damage as possible

mr. blutarsky. zero point zero.

i did my injection :>

Op Ed: I may be trying to murder you, but maybe you should be less murderable

HEARTBREAKING: girl with wet hair and big boobs can no longer sit in a towel scrolling on her phone and has to get dressed

hey check it out it's three little kitties :3

dont hmu i'm out to eat with this handsome stud

me at a new job doing icebreakers, not having any social awareness or understanding of what's appropriate in a professional setting: so what's everyone's favorite kind of shit to poop out?

has anyone said jersey dyke's yet

oompa loompa doompity doo, your boner is small and it smells like poo

dont hmu im playing Boggle on my Microsoft® Xbox™ Series X

willow is coming to the garden :3

cute girl wants to play tennis with me but im so out of shape and i havent touched my racket in 15 years 😵‍💫

nobody on iracing knows how to race superspeedways. no tandems, no runs, just driving in a straight fucking line until they lose the leader ahead of them. why must i always be so much better than everyone around me

market basket steak & cheese sub. if you're from new england you know what the fuck im talking about. un fuckin real

damn baby. i heard about robert redford. thats so sad. but that got me thinking about how much id love to come over and make you robert bred-ford

it's a beautiful day. don't let it get away

my batting average on meeting the most beautiful women ive ever seen thanks to pinball is CRAZY. getting into pinball is one of the best things i ever did holy shit

bring back forum signatures for social media. every post should have a signature underneath it where i can put userbars and quotes and funny references

i would play so much cs source on this setup. like this looks comfy as fuck honestly

you are not immune to thick thighs and soft hips

gorgeous girls with golden curls >>>>

forgot I can make my own emoji/stickers with the samsung keyboard lol

i keep saying i need to meet more normal trans girls and while that is true ultimately i think i need to meet and make friends with more cis women. that might be the ticket

ordered chilis triple dipper. uber eats driver shows up with no food and just keeps saying "mcdonalds.....one hour" and im like what dude. i didn't order mcdonalds and he says "the food....mcdonalds" and i'm like i don't know dude i'm sorry

you ever just have one of those days where you need anyone and everyone to see your boobs. it do be like that sometimes

the shutter closes, exposing the shot. she says are you looking up my skirt? when you say no, she says why not?

if you like mid-90s neopsychadelic grunge indie rock, do yourself a favor and go find a copy of "Pop Bus" by The Elevator Drops. the fact that this album isn't more well known is criminal and im going to lead the prosecution