What a fucking G.

Acetaminophena would be an excellent girl name

Like his eyes get wide and he pretends he's holding a really big syringe and then he mimes the baby getting bigger because you pumped in too much fluid

This isn't a joke it is literally true Trump thinks the problem with vaccines is that if you do too much at once there's too much vaccine and the baby basically becomes the "You're Turning Violet, Violet" kid from Willy Wonka

please god let her try to cancel gwar it'll be so fucking funny

Your polycule just became a terrorist organization

FOR THE LOVE OF COCK! three fuckin times in wan night THREE FUCKIN TIMES hoo many fuckin angels dis a man huv tae knee in the baws afore rememberin that angels huvnae got baws an heidbuttin them insteid just tae get the message oer that AH'M NO FUCKIN *WANTIN* TAE BE FUCKIN RAPTU

Fucksake. They're sayin it's JUST ME oan the list??? Ah telt them that's fuckin ridiculous, ah'm no hingin aboot for aw eternity wi just a bunch ae angels, can ah no at least get a guestie or two, but they wur aw NAW WE CANST NO DAE THAT anyway ah telt them tae get tae fuck an legged i

ahm no fuckin huvin it ah tell yez, hink yez can rapture me ya big bunch ae feathert fudds wi yer fuckin harps an haloes, just cause yer da hinks he's sum kindae big man, fuck yez aw COME AHEAD YA BUNCHAE HAWKMAN COSPLAY BAWBAGS

I know we've worked hard to move history ed away from names and dates but I think we might need to swing back to chronology a bit because "who was president on january 8 2021?" and "which came first, the clinical description of autism or tylenol?" shouldn't be this hard, especially for reporters.

My theory is that it already happened but went unnoticed because everyone who got taken was an asshole.

Horf. Covered in mud.

it is amazing how many of these guys love to make tough boastful statements then at the slightest sign of pushback back away like little bitches

This is amazing

Who is this that cometh up from the pasture, leaning upon her beloved? I raised thee up under the apple tree: there thy mother brought thee forth: there she brought thee forth, she that bore thee.

Trump: *incoherent fucking babbling that will torture and kill people* Journalists: Trump says babies are too full of liquid, certain baby experts say they disagree

I have a piece on this coming out this afternoon, but if you are faculty or a student at Angelo State in Texas or know one and have information that you'd like to share with a journalist related to ASU's new "policies" my signal is kissphoria.57

To: All Staff Subject: The Rapture In honor of Tuesday's Rapture, we're letting all the animals out. If there is no Rapture, delete and scrub your emails.

"Polyamory is right coded" comes around every few years and then all the tradwives start fucking each other, leave their husbands, and are marching in Pride that summer.

Everyone who hasn't spent the last 24 years being profiled by the FBI is going to tell you that it's no big deal because there's no such thing as a designated domestic terrorist org. The reality is it means people doing civil disobedience or merely 1st amendment activities may face terrorism charges

this is the funniest possible way to describe GWAR

If they walk it back, and your wallets follow, you will have taught them exactly how cheaply you can be bought, and confirm that you'll tolerate sacrificing human rights for everyone except those who are already unspeakably privileged.

anti-anti-fascist feels like it should have a one-word synonym

Getting to tell at G-d is in the top 3 reasons I'm converting. Anyway the apples are ripe on our apple tree so ima go pick a couple for me and @sarahday.org to dip in honey later

Happy Rosh Hashanah y'all.

"You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour." This is a skeet about "AI" rush-to-adoption FOMO.

I have never seen a holiday statement by a gentile that actually gets the purpose of the HHDs so well. שנה טובה זוהרן. May you be inscribed for Mayor. Uh, I mean ... for good.

He does good, this guy, I keep saying, most Heimish US politician I've seen in a while יהי לב יועצים ושרים ביד ה' לטובה! והמברך יתברך

There is power in a union! I'm so glad that the unions are out in force about this.

After weeks of trust building with Major the Horf, I have destroyed it all by riding him and ruining his life of leisure. He informed me that cookies are the only thing that can heal this breach. In other news I still fucjin hate western saddles

Given the relatively high prevalence of polyamory in the queer/trans communities, saying it's "right-coded" is a real "tell me you're cis het without saying you're cis het" kind of deal

meanwhile costco was all “DEI is good and we’re keeping it, fuck you” and they’re now basically printing money

I got back to my hotel and saw the foreground involved FALL FOLIAGE! In California! I had to stay up to finish the edit. Glad to live in this universe with you all ❤️

Something about referring to the community of grown ass women who read and write romance as "romance girlies" revives a feminist anger in me I haven't felt since I started passing and the infantilization of women stopped applying to me personally.

So when do we start getting these people have a pattern and there’s a muktiyeah history of it

Just 2 gun rights advocates sitting behind a wall of bulletproof glass while enjoying a memorial for a gun rights advocate who got murdered by a gun.

who up bending the moral arc of they universe

Audre told us.

My teenager just learned that there was a whole generation of Sesame Street without Elmo. He can't believe I don't love Elmo. We are a house divided.

Bored Teen In Innsmouth - 1919

you guys

Incredible image. Also incredible that the vast majority of white Christians in this country align with the men in camo.

If Christ himself showed up at this event he'd be descended on by ICE and shoved into an unmarked van

It's sobering, in its way, to realize that there was truly nobody (save, perhaps, his children) who knew him that loved him as a man. He made himself into content, and he died as content, and his funeral is the most content of all. Soundbites to soundbites, bits to bits

There's no more fitting tribute to Charlie Kirk than the one they're giving him right now: nominally Christian survivors on the same grift clambering over one another for more publicity, capped by the shambling, lurching embodiment of everything they long to be. You couldn't write anything meaner

I can’t help it. The grackles are still here, and need to be photographed 🤣 The male Common Grackles usually take every opportunity to display, especially in the spring! But it’s Fall, and this male was displaying a lot! Apparently, he knows what he looks like🤣 #Birds #photography #wildlife 🪶

Aisha was my student in Afghanistan. She needs help to for her mom’s treatment. If you can, please donate so that her mom treatment can be done. Aisha was working, but she lost her job and opportunity of further education. To donate: @neolithicsheep.bsky.social gofund.me/7e764ecff

’Tis thought, my lord, that you took bribes

the myth of a free platform for artists

Update: he barfed in the car.