My family refuses to adopt the new language and calendar system i invented with AI

by executive order, i decree that two dollars is less than one dollar and prices are down. thank you for your attention to this matter

The island of misfit skeeters

Googles: how to make the Grinch fall in love with me

Go Go Gadget Coping Mechanism

i’ll be keeping an eye out for donder this year. donder is my favorite

one week until christmas eve. the excitement is palpable

i don’t want no fucking orange in my christmas stocking. i want snickers, candy canes, a multi-tool, and a chocolate santa

a day without christmas cookies is a day without sunshine

why should i be good all year? i like to be bad. bad is good, so i guess that makes me good even when i’m bad. right?

why is there no hump in this hump day

tonight we're staying up until 1 billion o clock and spinning around in desk chairs until we can't speak vowels

must get to work to start grazing on donuts and christmas candy

math is short for matthew

I’m so sick of acting like everything is ok.

If you repost a video with an AI voice over you suck, cut that shit out

[idk who that is] × ∞ that about covers my knowledge of people

Stages of holiday shopping 1. Plenty of time 2. Gifts for myself 3. Oh no

2026 life strategy: fail upward

Give him a grinch and he’ll take a mile.

The Feast of What the Fuck

If you pull your camera close enough and really fluff up your curls, no one on the zoom can tell you need to tidy your kitchen counter

joy to certain parts of the world

When will my husband return from the war on Christmas

Does the thing brushing my leg in the dark have eyes and teeth or was it born without those particular features?

a real post: i see a number of you suffering this time of year. know that you are loved, you will have love in the new year, and you are not alone

do elves dream of electric sheep?

santa is a radical left wing hoax. from now on, NORAD will be tracking the very real and correct krampus on christmas eve

i have everything i could possibly need but that doesn’t stop me from wanting some more ridiculous shit for christmas. can’t wait

i took tomorrow off work because i plan on driving into the river

there are no big family dramas brewing. this is going to be the worst christmas

Apples xkcd.com/3180/

Toxic you say, like it’s not your favorite flavor

dude i have no idea what online clout is i just want to come here and be stupid

my heart burns with passion and perhaps acid reflux too

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

do elves dream of electric sheep?

The power of eggnog compels you

am i just waiting for something that’s never gonna come or what

a real post: i see a number of you suffering this time of year. know that you are loved, you will have love in the new year, and you are not alone

I wish naming one’s child Hieronymus would make a comeback. Hi or Hire would make the perfect nickname.

Christmas is next week 😂 time isn’t real

need the vendors who are sucking up to us at work to bring their bribery donuts today

The delusional mood that usually hits mid-December, where I’m convinced a new notebook could be the answer to everything.

Sex tape is like regular tape, but sexy

making my undiagnosed head injury work for me

i'm like the lorax but i speak for the cheese which you seem to be eating as fast as you please

"You shouldn't make art for the money" buddy I'll take it one step further and say we shouldn't have to labor for capital at all but in the meantime pay an artist

all female reboot of America