Starting a North Pacific Treaty Organization to defend California, Oregon and Washington from invasion by the US. Might consider letting Arizona in.

Glad to know our soldiers will finally be dressing appropriately for urban combat.

I’m taking up gardening. I’m tired of spending so much time with things that have brains.

It’s Rocktober. I better get my rocks out of storage.

Pancakes are cakes made in a pan. But what cakes aren’t?

Everything is dark now. I hear scary noises. I guess it’s time to sleep. Good night.

I’m not being dismissive. I genuinely don’t care.

I’m filing a class action lawsuit against the universe for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Who’s in?

BlueSky should have an AI that looks at past posts and creates future posts for me and then another AI that reads those posts for you and occasionally likes some of them so we can all just sleep all the time.

The Department of War implies the existence of the Department of Peace.

Generals I have gathered you here today to make sure the military isn't doing anything gay or black

A day without sunshine is often less hot than days with sunshine.

The magic box that takes me to my office.

This is the part of the afternoon when I’m even more tired than the rest of the day.

Lunch is practice dinner.

I have a new theory that we must totally capitulate in all ways to billionaires to fend off the Antichrist. What? Not a new theory?

My car wants a car of its own. I’m thinking of getting it a convertible. Stick. Basic package only.

Too early to think. Wake me up when I’m smarter.

Are there more ghosts this time of year or is it just our awareness of ghosts that makes it seem like there are more ghosts? Anyway, sleep tight.

Airplanes are a myth.

I’m feeling nostalgic. I think I’ll relive the good times by shotgunning Mountain Dew until I pass out.

No person is an island. We are each atolls.

if you throw a boomerang straight up in the air it'll eventually hit you in the back of the head two days ago

As evening falls, creating a gentle cocoon to usher in a peaceful slumber, dark, scary things are lurking in the shadows. Maybe. Actually not sure. Probably okay, really. Sleep tight.

We need to start thinking about what kind of world we are going to leave for AI.

Fly me to the moon. Fly anyone to the moon. What happened to the colonies in big lava tubes and nuclear power and excessive mining on the moon we were promised? I’m feeling really let down about now.

What if I’m a bot and I don’t know it? Seems awful coincidental that the only thing I can remember are these posts. And that most of them aren’t very funny. I’m beginning to worry.

I’m too despondent to post anything witty about politics today. Good thing I have plenty of other unfunny things to post.

I have a deep desire to make a positive difference in the world. Fortunately, I have the discipline to ignore it.

My posts are a lot better if you pretend they're from someone else's account

Coffee is the devil’s playground. Tea is the devil’s garden. Orange juice is the front walkway. Milk is the little area of the side yard where the tools are stacked up when the devil is too lazy to put them in the shed.

I shouldn't be awake right now. - me, every waking moment of my life

I miss having the bandwidth for petty grievances and long-simmering resentments

Sleep tight. Don’t let the venomous interdimensional fang creatures bite.

Don’t think of pumpkins. Not even October yet. Too early to think of pumpkins. Do not think of pumpkins. 🎃🎃🎃

If I had a nickel for every nickel I have…oh, wait. nvm.

I got up early this morning. Meant to sleep until 2028.

You’ve got to be bold. Or boldfaced. Or maybe meek is better. Not sure. Anyway, as you were.

Fell out of bed and almost woke myself up. Glad this is all still just a bad dream.

In bed at last. I hope I can fall asleep before the things under the bed wake up.

I just had a thought but fortunately it got away before I could do anything about it.

My two cents worth now costs four cents. Tariffs.

On this day, Balboa discovered the Pacific Ocean off the coast of the Americas. It was a small body of water previously unknown except to about twenty million native Americans, Asians., Polynesians and others.

Godzilla would be welcome any time now.

The only thing I fear more than the government shutting down is the government staying open

I stopped seven wars yesterday. Working on eight and nine this evening. Should be done before breakfast.

Help, I’ve fallen into the abyss and I can’t get up.

My favorite part of the day is first thing in the morning before I remember anything that’s actually happening.

Honestly, the dinosaurs got so lucky with that asteroid