“It’s difficult to cover him in a way that conveys how unhinged he is. Journalists are trained to be like, ‘OK, what did he say that was newsworthy?’ So you convey that to your audience. But in reality, when you actually watch, you see he's full of hatred, lying constantly, and very incoherent.”

Quick survey: Repost this if you know who Susan Lucci is.

My divorce from reality was finalised today.

People believing that some guy got up several days after being killed because it says so in some book is why I have trust issues

I swear to god, somebody just have the balls to ask him what year it is.

Hot take: it's good for websites to go down. They should all go down.

First butterfly of the year, (holly blue). I think this one emerged today due to the wings being translucent #invertebrates #butterflies

Depluralize a movie The grape of wrath

parenthood will have you seriously considering driving 200 miles at bedtime to retrieve a single stuffed raccoon your daughter forgot at grandma’s house

I wish I had a privacy screen for my face.

The biggest story in the world right now is that the president of the United States is a demented old man who takes pleasure in torturing and killing people and is committing crimes with impunity. And yet most legacy media outlets are too cowardly to tell it like it is.

Well, at least we'll have four people - including a woman - on the far side of the Moon as the fucking dipshit hits the Apocalypse button. Maybe they can start anew.

“zip it asshole”

As more people distance themselves from Trump it’s helpful to accept their mistakes with grace and help them back to reality. I’m not gonna do that, I’m gonna mock them viciously, but, you know, it’s helpful. Someone should do that. Not me though.

I don't really know what beyond the pale means, but I'm pretty sure we are there. Using context clues and everything.

My garden! It is risen!

Millennials rise up imo

Praise Allah on Christian's holiest of days. Jesus fucking christ.

It's true

This one is about God coming to earth, getting arrested for smoking weed and harassed by her followers for being a sinner, and being disgusted by what we've done. Happy Easter!

Your account is an absolute mess Followed

I just wanna lay in the back of a pickup truck in the middle of a field and stare at the stars

They never give you any credit for all the shit you don't start.

ohhhh ffs I have to go hide eggs

Hollow chocolate bunny FILLED WITH OREO STUF

Easter's great. All the assholes are in church and I can reclaim my spot by the creek.

Shooting heroin into your dick is poppycock.

What entirely innocuous quote or scene in a movie makes you giggle every time but in every other context would be a regular statement? "What did we learn? I don't fucking know, make sure it doesn't happen again, I guess?" -Burn After Reading

Boooooooooooo

Sometimes I think i’d thrive as a woman in the fifties because i’d absolutely be a prime candidate for a hysteria diagnosis and a lobotomy.

A week ago I said "vacation calories don't count" and my kids have had ice cream and pastries for every meal since.

This tide pool looks like Earth.

Flight delay, my kids are playing cards and gambling with skittles while I have a bloody marry. Follow me for more parenting tips.

Go go gadget heating pad

Just wrapped up a wild week of work. I will be at the ocean tomorrow. The ocean will calm my worried mind.

Back on my bullshit again (playing the Beverly Hills 90210 theme on repeat in my head)

I have a whole nighttime routine now: 1. Wash face 2. Brush teeth

"It's over Johnny. It's over!"

See a flower, share a flower

Well, at least I'm flying this week.

Holy shit that was a great game! Goodnight bluesky. Go big red.

If i wasn't a Nebraska fan, I'd be enjoying the hell out of this game

Does Duke know that they are playing in the tournament? Someone should tell them.

I'm really trying guys, I want to say funny shit. But I just don't think I'm that funny. You see the problem I find myself faced with.

Hello, Spring. Just be decent. 📸: Various stops in Oregon

My neighbor is selling their single family home for 1.2 million. Time to put a toilet in my yard.

Why do people wish their kids Happy Birthday on social media, when the child is either not old enough to read it, or they are not on said social media?

Don’t underestimate your ability to quiet her mind…

the maga idiots where i live don't know what to make of my camo pants. lesbian? ex-military? it's wonderful

just watched a woman fail at parallel parking her tesla in a huge spot. over. and over. and over. never even thought to pull out my phone