Walrus potato does not care for your hurtful comparison.

Drinking cum to make pineapple juice taste disgusting

It’s called life but pronounced what the fuck is this bullshit.

Me? Just a Grandpa who still feels 25. Or at least wakes up that way…at first.

If he doesn’t stalk you for a decade, is he really even that into you?

Woke up sanity adjacent again.

Gonna go lie under a tree and hope the falling leave smother me

When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk ten miles through it to get to school.

the free sample lady must have called them when i wouldn’t leave

not sure whether you realize this or not but what you're saying is very very dumb and you should stop saying it

one time i fell madly in love at a stoplight but then the other driver sped off and i never saw that dog again

*Whispers during sex* I can’t stop perceiving fleeting bubbles of consciousness as fixed truths

Baby’s first void

Jealousy is not cute, it’s a warning ⚠️

Live view of the communist takeover of new york

It’s the gift that keeps on sagging

ok wow they sure give you lots of extra skin as you age

In a just world Beastie Boys would live forever.

Them: your days are numbered Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass

Yes, I reposted you. But I am not in repost with you.

Franks and Beans; food detectives.

me, shitposting:

bsky and pooping go together like *wipes ass with phone*

It turns out it WASN’T the salmon mousse, after all. Now what?

Everybody is so desperate for that interstellar comet to be an alien ship, what if it's just cake?

I wanna point out that this happen A LOT in this administration

it’s called the imperial march because they’re not meter soldiers

at least tomorrow is not Monday

whistlin dicks, see

how am i just finding out about 26 string harp guitars youtu.be/2XnSHmLF3bs?...

When people follow me based on cat photos I share….i feel really bad knowing they are gonna find out I’m really a menace with thirst traps 😅

I’m sick, so I’ll probably do a sexy video of me rubbing Vicks Vaporub on my chest later

never skip greg day

You inspired me

Leave your problems at the door and become a recluse. <inspirational>

posting a greg.

It took some minor stalking, but I found this one (same Greg but different) bsky.app/profile/greg...

if you see this post a greg

Calm down hardware store I don’t need to walk through an Enchanted Christmas Wonderland to get to the socket wrenches

16: have you heard of a rapper named Veeze Me: I swear to god, if this is a deez nuts joke…

everyone relax rfk jr was simply running to go get his chainsaw

If you make it to the end of Candy Crush, the prize is Wilford Brimley talking to you about diabetes.

OMG @betty-cocker.bsky.social

Thursday, 4:01pm "Still there." "Yep." "Looks blue." "It certainly does." "Wet too." "Totally." "See you next week?" “Count on it."

beaver moons have a pocket you can hide your weed in.

Cross Greece and Albania off my list. newatlas.com/biology/sulf...

unlike you guys, i only suffer from posters gladness

Yes.

[sting] okay roxanne baby rents getting expensive time to turn on that red light

Best Pixies cover I’ve ever heard