still crazy after all these years

automatic writing but the thoughts were internal ghosts

Being unapproachable is just part of my charm.

Bend over babe I'll gaslight you

Niece missing. Jumped out a 2nd story window so someone she met on the internet could pick her up sometime between midnight and 3am. She doesn’t have a phone. If you or someone you know picked her up in the middle of the night, she’s an autistic minor who probably said she was 18. BRING HER BACK.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy you found out I don’t like condiments so call me maybe

me as a realtor: just think of all the elephants you could fit in this room.

Cried at 3am but got to curb stomp a bitch in my dreams. It’s called balance.

sports players shouldn’t make more than nurses

January 2026 was a significant month in that it was 15 weeks long, and almost all of the days making up those weeks were Mondays.

I don’t know, maybe we should all downshift a little, go weave rushes into pretty things on an old oaken table something like that

Death sits in a corner at a Starbucks and tastes a pumpkin spice latte for the first time. “It’s actually quite good,” he muses to himself. The name written on his cup says “Derp”.

I live by the bushido code. Not sure what all’s in it but I assume it means do everything like a bad ass

Mama, take this app off my phone. I can't use it anymore.

Thinking about the time a conservative relative thought they were insulting me by calling me altruistic

dad was an abusive piece of shit, but he was brilliant at insults, he once told me that he envisioned me being the grand marshal of a failure pride parade hahahahaaa this is why I post jokes and self medicate

Its a no floor all lava kinda day

hey chat is it cool if I just cry rn

We live on a 4.5 billion-year-old rock that's traveling 67,000 mph through space but I'm sure your latte is "the most amazing thing ever."

when i say i’m hauntingly beautiful it just means i’m so pale you can see my skeleton

Dad: let’s name him Eugene Mom: but he looks like a mix of both of us Dad: Ourgene it is

my brain spontaneously arose from the cosmic thermal equilibrium, and all I got was this dumb dream of the universe

cptsd means I can spot a mood shift in a room faster than TSA can spot liquids

i’m ticking like a fucking bomb! had the best of intentions my resolve outlasts my apprehensions

Just another hopeless necromantic

My first clue that I forgot to take my ADHD meds again today has been how much I'm quoting Pauly Shore

Some people find me unapproachable, which means I just need to convince the rest of them

I still miss her, that younger version of me that would have put up with your shit

Sorry I don't interact with your posts anymore it's just that I've convinced myself you hate me

I think spending a day with pandas would heal me

If im scrolling on here you must instead imagine i am swaying and dancing in place

The feminine urge to make piles on any horizontal surface

I learn a lot by accident.

I love mornings. I just don’t want to meet them in person.

some people contain multitudes…i contain six gas station hot dogs

January so long I feel like a hostage.

[5 years after an argument] AND ANOTHER THING

Did you know you can just. Or not?

Fill your hearts, stuff your bellies and set phasers to kill

So tired of everything. But I know I’ll still be awake at 5am tomorrow 😖

Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.

Happy Sunday to those of you who like to freak out in advance

Recoiling in horror implies that first coil wasn’t enjoyed at all.

me to me: 🤨

My left butt cheek is twitching. That means 2 more weeks of January

Up It Pick Up It Pick!

Rest in peace Yoda you would have loved ska music

We should have a minor inconvenience rewards card.

Braining is exhausting.

I always feel like I’m being punished when I hear “turn the beat around” on the dance floor