⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ This thread's solely for me. If you get it, good for you. If you stay, bless your heart. All improv. It's gonna be comical and fascinating. Logical yet abstract. At least one of you will disagree or feel they could do better in each post. Ready? Ok next post starts it. This is the drop⤵️

I got a push notification from a fast food joint, but I'm leaving it in my notification bar to pretend I have a text waiting for me because I don't have anyone to text. It's equal parts whimsy & somber if true ... 👁👁

Super Size Me (2004)

If you've ever *heard me whistle or snap my fingers, you'd understand why I say call me "Lulu" *knew my real name

Completing my side quest gives you a familiar that's a ghost bird. A ghost that later decided it looked better as a bird. It can be leveled up, combined, equipped with ... well equipment, & learns spooky element spells. Starts with "boo?" & branches from there. Gets full heal w/ candy but loses def.

nothing makes me happier than when my husband goes to bed at the same time as me instead of haunting the house like a lost spirit

Guess!

(Had 2× the recommended amount of mushroom latte packets suggested by the company) Me: quarter past 3 & I'm still awake? Huh. ... Huh.

im beer u fuckaas bitch

i’d use healthy coping mechanisms more if they were fun and got me high

I can achieve anything I set my mind to unless it’s slightly inconvenient.

Oh my fucking God I fucking said fucking guess! Damn!

They made my existence into an "issue" then complained I'd become a single issue voter

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

best episode of love boat ever

sitting here thinking the yellow sour patch kids should be illegal and then i realize i’m their union rep

Yoooo, this is why they're clowning you in all the chat rooms I'm in & you're not. That's a lie. No one lets me in ANY chat rooms. You're like a brother who pretends to like his brother to me. Just dont hate me. Luv ya 🫶🏽

turned post notifs on >:] so now u now if i don't like ur post it's bc it was bad ! and not cuz i didn't see it :/

"I used to" feels so long ago.

Oh... so you 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 talk with your hands? Mundane.

Ai drive thru: would you like fries with that? Me: wtf goddamn you panda express I can't believe I'm dealing with this shit now. What kind of fries? Ai: waffle, crinkle, & 3 Me: Holy fucking holy shit fucking shit is this shit? Really ✌🏽✊🏽✌🏽PANDA EXPRESS✌🏽✊🏽✌🏽? We're doing this now? I'll take a 3, 🙏🏽 & ty

I noticed you haven't been around. Funny the things I notice. (Someone is living in my house without me knowing for several years now). You can't ghost a ghost(I should be very worried but I have no clue I'm in danger). I notice every little thing(this is the person living in his house finishing up)

It's like if the ring I am not finishing that it's just way too gross. Yuck-a-roony!

Your car being off but in neutral is sleepwalking in the "Carsiverse"

"Don't call my mom, please"

Laughing at myself mimicking porky pig(spot on, mind you) lying in bed posting, roasting, & ghosting on bluesky wondering where I went wrong in life kind of high. You? (Kicks feet playfully)

I honestly think all us cryptid based accounts should just automatically be friends unless they're natural enemies. Ghost should be moots with gnomes, but satyrs shouldn't be friends with chupacabras. Unless it's true love or pure lust.

Putting my tits in chaos mode

If you think my posts are great, check out my moot's moots that aren't my moots posts! There's a reason.

I’m not shallow I’m empty get it right.

Gang, I get it. I got one of me I have to deal with, too & I hate that guy. 🪞

Who's up dysmorphiaing their memories?

They had a show in the 90’s called Taz Mania where Taz had a family that dressed like humans which establishes that he wasn’t actually a wild animal but just sort of a weird naked guy

Yeah, you might be right - as well as the fact that they would under-diagnose women and girls when it comes to autism and ADHD because it can present differently. I feel as if I have a panoply of mental and personality disorders but how much of that is hypochondriac, I don't know.

If you doubt me still. Microwave popcorn & toss it in the fridge immediately after popping until chilled. You're welcome. Works best with Xtra ✌🏽✊🏽✌🏽butter✌🏽✊🏽✌🏽.

Cold is a flavor. Ask pizza.

Me & who?

I always wanted to respond to seeing my enemies die with "no, keep going. You're doing it right"

Don't like his posts. It'll just rile him up. & you know he loves to act up for company. So, keep his posts off the Discover tab. (This post is about me)

Butt chex

I got more strawberry cough today & I'm doing swell, gang.

I DRINK YOUR CUMSHAKE *slurping noises*

I want to play a video game, but I'm too indecisive and have many I've never even started. Someone help me pick. I don't care how you reply to this post. Ama.

I like how condom & condemn sound so similar. That's why I don't use them. Damn rubbers.