YES! ALEX BONES IS NOW IN MY DEBT FOR FORGING HIM THE IRRESISTIBLE DENIM COUCH! NOW BEGINS THE REAL ENTERTAINMENT... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

He'd have been OK if he was wearing his Jean Jacket. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

He'd have been OK if he was wearing his Jean Jacket. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yes, and yours to command, my J'apprentice. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

are uh.... are they single?😻

I was forced to bring back my Jeans-Wraiths because I just couldn't find strong enough warriors to protect me at the Waffle House.

Many attractive Asian women, who retweet Democrat talking points want to follow me. They yearn for the power of my Blue Jeans. BWAHAHAHAHA!!

One of my Jinions said they wanted to see more cocks in tight jeans, but the tighter I make the jeans the harder it is to walk.

I always got the J'licky on me.

You see my J'apprentice, while you may run out of Blue Jean Spells, you will always have Blue Jean Shells. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

My plan to rule the Enchanted Forest comes ever closer. BEHOLD! Canadian Tuxedoes for raccoons! I soon shall have sway over all the forest creatures. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Behold! My newest creation, the J'elmet! The power of Denim will make you invincible! BWAHAHAHAHA!

You see my J'apprentice, knowledge is the Cornerstone of any dark art. Denimancy it's no exception.

Bad news: he got hired so he could have money for Dippin' Dots- The Ice Cream Of The Future! They didn't have a uniform in his size though so they just put him in an old sports bra from the unsold backstock.

Once again, when I need my Jeans Troll by my side, it's yet again at the mall, staring into the Dippin' Dots vending machine.

Didn't you literally say you were a Hufflepuff until 2015?

saw this on facelessbook and it me

WHERE THE HELL IS SYDNEY SWEENEY? WE HAD A DEAL!

Finally. My Jean Trolls. Stalk the Malls of Moria. Prepare and protect for the coming wave of Denim!

"Rally my Denim Orc Army. A new power is rising. Its victory is at hand. This night the jeans will be stained with the blood of the Forest-dwellers. March on Bluesky. Leave none alive. To war!"

Ride, my Jeans-Wraiths. Find me this Echo-Chamber here in Bluesky. It is undoubtedly a place of power I must exploit for our denim-domination.

MY REIGN OF DENIMANCY BEGINS NOW! BWAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHA!

YEEEEESSSSSSS! Another Jinion enters the fold! You shall receive a Jean Jacket. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

BWAHAHAHAHA! I Enchanted the Grimace's blue jeans and now I have him stomping fairy villages in the forest! Does my power know no limits!

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this. 🔥 🧙‍♂️ 🔥 👖

Now that I am back. It's time to begin my domination! I shall begin by putting blue jeans in the water supply! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

aw dang, what am I gonna do with all these japes

I brought the Jong so we can get comfortable first 😌

How about i slip into something more jcomfortable

come sit in the joctopus

This is tight as I can go before they start falling over.

Who up WILLING BLUE JEANS INTO LIFE!

𝖁𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖒 𝕬𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖒 𝕻𝖊𝖗 𝕯𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖒

YES! YES! PRAISE MY CREATIONS! THE JIZZARD NEEDS YOUR POWER!

It appears you all have forgotten about the Jizzard! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! MY REIGN OF DENIMANCY BEGINS AGAIN!

I've done it! I have finally created the perfect Jinion! The J'aardvark! BWAHAHAHAHA!

BWAHAHAHAHA! That's right you Forest Cretins. We control who lives in these woods now!

Making the Jeans Troll dance while I spitball some nefarious plans. BWAHAHAHAHA! youtu.be/U2waT9TxPU0?...

Something came to me in a dream last night. A way forward, I daresay a new type of jeans.... BWAHAHAHAHA!

Step one on my return. Make sure my J'Apprentice, @pixelthegnome.bsky.social is still as loyal and perfect as I remember him.

So it turns out letting the Revenant of Levi Strauss exert dominance over your stable of Jean's Wraiths is a bad idea. Sorry I have been gone. I had some business to attend to. BWAHAHAHA!!!

Hello... BWAHAHAHA!

@autistsupreme.bsky.social There is only one JIZZARD!

I apologize for being absent of late. I just broke up with my girl, and everything reminds me of her. BWOHOHOHO!

Unlike you, I get my news from a reliable source BWAHAHAHAHA!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

EVENTS: The hooded figures that dwell in Black Star Canyon are throwing a free open house for their human sacrifice ritual for the glory of the Lords Below tonight. There's always room for one more!

So @skelbton.bsky.social ,since you did not show up for our battle of bands, I decided to let @santhewitch.quest perform in your stead. She seems to be much better than me musically, yet I still feel like I will win. BWAHAHAHAHA!

She is most correct! How do you like the Denim San? BWAHAHAHAHA!