I hope this doesn't ruin the tour.

That sounds about right.

Make it 974 years earlier and you've got yourself a deal.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Eye of Sauron Fine Art Print. The films failed to mention that the Eye of Sauron had surprisingly bad vision. In the books there is a chapter where Sauron sends his forces after a large gopher, mistaking it for Frodo. collabs.shop/jd6knx

It's the last good decision the Supreme Court made.

I was once again accused of being a bot, so here's a picture of me helping to set up a birthday party for a cat. Please stop telling me I look like JD Vance.

Smart.

Wow, that's crazy.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this PBJ Mighty Wallet. I really love this wallet. I'm currently on my fifth one because I keep accidentally eating them. collabs.shop/8gw7yx

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

Please share this post. I've made a deal with the devil where he will turn me back into a slug if I get 100,000 followers here. I miss being a slug. I did not have to pay taxes. I had no idea who Stephen Miller was. I slithered around aimlessly, not knowing salt would make me die a horrific death.

We made a comic about textbooks.

You just know he cheats.

History is so interesting.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Octopus Pin. An octopus always keeps at least one tentacle free in case it needs to strangle a lobster. collabs.shop/brt9xx

That blows my mind.

That must take so much self control.

They are technically birds.

Very effective.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Cat Shirt. At long last, I have finally found a shirt with my spirit animal on it. collabs.shop/kn14ft

That explains a lot.

The word "movie" stems from "moovie", as films were originally invented to distract cows while being milked. This did not last long, as cows fell over laughing due to Charlie Chaplin's humorous antics, tragically crushing multiple farmers.

I'm ready, Jon.

It's easily my favorite sport.

That's what the film The Lighthouse was about.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Cat Warrior Blanket. Say it with me folks: We don't want more live action Disney remakes, we want movies about whatever the fuck this is! collabs.shop/xfgxxz

Wise words from a wise man.

Incredible.

That's rough.

All the others are devout Protestants.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "Proud Contributor to the Declining Birth Rate" Bumper Sticker. Hey, at least you're contributing to something. collabs.shop/qdxfma

Incredible.

This is one of my favorite comics we've made.

I wish they didn't change it.

Words can't express how much I hate this.

That explains a lot.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this I'm not a robot Pin. This is the only way to prove you are not a robot. If you don't own this pin, don't get mad when someone inevitably slaps a magnet on your forehead to make sure you're not a clanker in disguise. collabs.shop/2tpwcc

Wise words from a wise man.

Life would have been so much better.

That's good to know.

It's always the ones you most suspect.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Kawaii Frog Dango Spiral Notebook. Please be culturally sensitive. You might think it seems gross to eat severed frog heads on a stick, but this is what 99.9% of the global population eats every meal of the day. collabs.shop/bl1qju

Very impressive in its own unique way.

I am sending an official cease and desist to The Louvre. While I appreciate your interest in displaying Ruby at your museum, my cat is not for sale. She is priceless. And no, I will not trade her for the Mona Lisa. Please stop asking.

Reporter: Are you concerned that ICE agents are not qualified to operate as TSA agents? Trump: In their defense, they're not qualified to work at ICE either.

Neuroscience is so fascinating.

Being famous sounds hard.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "We Are All Dogs In God's Hot Car" Patch. Not only is God refusing to crack a window, but he also cranked the heat and locked us inside. With all due respect, God is being a total dick. collabs.shop/78zf16

That's crazy.

Wow, I never knew that.