Nature is crazy.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Candle Sticker. Burnt out on Monday, a pile of wax by Wednesday, burned down the house by Friday. Very relatable. collabs.shop/jqknly

That's reasonable.

I don't think people understand how bad the obesity epidemic in the US really is. To put things in perspective, the average American eats five cheeseburgers every minute.

We made a comic about The Wild West.

He also came up with "frenemy".

Obviously.

I am terribly sorry to interrupt your doomscrolling, but today's Low Quality Ad is for this Mr. Fancy Possum Pin. Look at him. He is distinguished. He is looking dapper. He has eaten so much garbage today. collabs.shop/x4l5nb

Even the best of the best can't be good at everything.

That's helpful to know.

It's as unpleasant as it sounds.

That's so interesting.

Happy Mother's Day! Tonight's Low Quality Ad is dedicated to anyone who has ever had a mother. There are dozens of us. collabs.shop/zkpdxv

All hail the mighty walrus.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

43% have never left their stoop.

Wise words from a wise man.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Ghost Keychain. Casper being friendly was such a big deal because most ghosts are total dicks. collabs.shop/0ojsxx

That blows my mind.

I defibrillate myself every morning.

I believe Barry.

Very interesting.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Crow Plush. He looks so angry. Probably because someone is playing jazz. Crows fucking hate jazz. collabs.shop/mkzlwm

Wow, that's really old.

I prefer to quintuple roast my beans.

Please give me a dollar a month on Patreon so I can keep making the content that my adoring fans can't get enough of. I cherish their unconditional love, and I must reciprocate with more facts. www.patreon.com/lowqualityfa...

Wow, I never knew that.

We made a comic about parenting.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Bear Arms Pin. Just think, the $400 million it will take to build Trump's ballroom could instead be used to arm every single bear in the United States. The Founding Fathers must be rolling in their graves. collabs.shop/l1zzmv

Obviously.

Mind your manners.

That blows my mind.

Smart.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Slut For Cheese Pet Bandana. It's not slut shaming, it's slut praising. collabs.shop/46fgh9

They must have been magnificent.

Sounds like an innocent misunderstanding.

Slowing the aging process by permanently traveling west.

Very suspicious.

We would all be geniuses if we didn't need oxygen.

Look, I know you all think this account is funded by the mice industry. But that's not true. That's absurd. I don't think mice even have an industry to promote. On an unrelated note, today's Low Quality Ad is for this Mice Blanket. collabs.shop/ryvx37

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

Excited to have a new Star Fox game, but I am questioning their decision to model Fox after Kash Patel.

Yellow is a purple color.

That blows my mind.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this All I Need Is Coffee And Weed Sticker. Ah, well if it isn't society's most accepted drug and second most accepted drug. Missing is society's third most accepted drug, cocaine but only if you are white and obnoxiously wealthy. collabs.shop/hzrkz0

Please don't test this.

We made a comic about a starfish.

From now on, anytime someone asks me why I put so much time and effort into this arguably dumb account, I will simply tell them that I do it for Tim.

Calvin Coolidge will always be my favorite president.

I know that Stephen Miller gets a lot of hate on here, but hear me out. I think we could hate him more. We have the capacity, we all just need to put in a little more effort.