Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "Sorry For Acting Weird" shirt. Never apologize for acting weird. Unless you're being the creepy kind of weird. Or the annoying kind of weird. Or the obnoxious kind of weird. Maybe more of you should be apologizing. collabs.shop/ywboku

Yum.

We made a comic about a dog.

I would like to issue a formal apology for yesterday's Low Quality Ad, in which I mistakenly called this Sushi Scarf Crochet Kit a Sushi Scarf Knitting Kit. I quickly realized my mistake when legions of furious knitters and crocheters suddenly wanted me dead. Please have mercy. collabs.shop/qx9nhq

That's a shame.

Very cool.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Anti-Anxiety Calming Paw Bed. My pets find this bed to be extremely relaxing. Me, with my crippling fear of bears, on the other hand... collabs.shop/hw1jhu

The human body never ceases to amaze me.

All I want for Christmas is for you to buy me a coffee to help enable my coffee addiction. When I am holding my 7th mug of the day with shaking hands I want to say "This isn't my fault. It's because of the generous stranger on the internet. They did this to me." buymeacoffee.com/lowqualityfa...

Technology progresses so fast.

It's still too soon.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Sushi Scarf Knitting Kit. But LQF, I never roll up my scarf, you say. That is because your scarf has never formed sushi when rolled up, I wisely tell you. You'll start doing it now. collabs.shop/qx9nhq

You can't out-pizza the Hut.

That's crazy.

Seems wasteful.

Nature is crazy.

I love Freddie Mercury.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this 'I Saw That" pin, showing Jesus's face as he watches government employees desperately trying to scrub Trump's name from the Epstein files. collabs.shop/krgucl

That blows my mind.

Oh wow, that's what happened?

He's got a point.

We need to ban submarines.

I was planning to post this "Ice Can Be Melted" sticker for tonight's Low Quality Ad, but unfortunately Bari Weiss is making me pull the ad because ICE refused to comment on it. collabs.shop/3eudca

That makes sense.

Bluesky Rules: -Introduce yourself by sharing what your least favorite fish is. -To verify your account, please upload a picture of your face to confirm that you are not Jared Leto. -Socialize by finding one person and commenting "I like this one even more than the last one" on all their posts.

I recently learned that Low Quality Facts is the 62nd largest account on Mastodon. I'd love to be number 61, but my archnemesis Jeff Jarvis is standing in my way. Jeff has been a thorn in my side since the day I was born. He has made it his life's mission to destroy me.

That's crazy.

We made a comic about a mayfly.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for the Woodland Whispers Doorbell. I have no idea how to use this. If I got to someone's house and they had one I would simply turn around and leave. Introverts love it. collabs.shop/sxahjw

Very wise.

Whoops.

Safety first.

They were ahead of their time.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Milf Hoodie. I just found out that Milf was one of the most popular internet searches this year. It's great to see people taking such an interest in frogs. collabs.shop/ygpvqa

That's why I can't pronounce any of them.

Obviously.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Cat Samurai Blanket. That fish lived without honor and died a coward's death. His death will be celebrated for generations. collabs.shop/ydramj

That makes sense.

It's an endless cycle.

Me: I would like to do a stand-up comedy special please. I have dozens of hilarious jokes. Netflix: Not interested. Me: Okay what if I give a two hour pseudo-intellectual speech about the word "woke" and we just call it stand-up? Netflix: Deal, here is 50 million dollars.

Anything to save a buck.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for the Loop Dream earplugs. Wear these anytime you want to sleep. Or when someone you dislike is talking. Or if anyone asks you a question. Maybe just glue them in permanently. collabs.shop/hdbfpi

He makes a good point.

That's so interesting.

I probably wouldn't read it.

I've experienced this.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for the Thor Crate Marvel Mystery Box. One of them has to contain Chris Hemsworth. I've ordered 10 so far but unfortunately the best thing I've gotten is Luke Hemsworth. collabs.shop/btfnrt

I love sloths.

So sad.

I jokingly posted on Threads about wanting to order a $20,000 pizza that has an autographed Babe Ruth baseball as a topping. It got 32,000 views after the word "order" triggered a ton of bots that flooded the comments asking what I wanted to order. Fun!