Feeling underdressed for the Super Bowl? Get tonight's Low Quality Ad, this SPORTS! Hat so you don't embarrass yourself next year too. collabs.shop/kolwmg

Please enjoy this comic we made about the Super Bowl.

I am only $3.4 billion away.

I'm still mad that Joe never let us see it.

Now it's all starting to make sense.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Needlepoint Pillow. I've been trying very hard to find actions that don't have consequences. So far I've found that hopping in place seems to be fairly inconsequential. collabs.shop/gzopfe

As a Gemini I can eat enough for two people.

I somehow never knew this.

They have given my tongue permanent scars. I will continue to eat them.

That's so interesting.

I'm not stupid. I've heard the rumors. I know you all think this account is funded by big sushi industry. And the rumors are 100% true. Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Salmon Sashimi Plush. Don't blame me, these sushi chefs have insanely deep pockets. You'd do the same. collabs.shop/egaqsg

Nature is crazy.

Roman mythology is so interesting.

That's so wholesome.

That explains a lot.

This is one of my favorite comics we've made.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Mount Everest Patch. Look, I'm not one to slut shame. But damn Mount Everest, 405? collabs.shop/biymzl

I hope the fans were merciful this season.

Those were the good ol' days.

Finally started watching The Pitt. I figured it was just a typical hospital show. I did not expect the plot to revolve around a literal pit that the doctors throw patients without health insurance into, leaving them to rot in the darkness. Excellent writing too, 10/10.

Just like the cavemen did.

In honor of the recently held National Prayer Breakfast, tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Gay the Pray Away shirt. Anyone who has actually read the Bible would know it explicitly states the key to getting into heaven is to be as gay as humanly possible. collabs.shop/d8avwb

That's fair.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

I'm with Michael on this one.

I love Bill Hader.

What would you write in your Pope page?

Today's Low Quality Ad is for Texas Pecan Cakes. Or as I like to call it, the Lone Star Cake. collabs.shop/3waiw6

I keep eating the wrong ones.

If someone donates $10 and the number turns into 1111 today I will lose my mind. I will also lose my mind if someone donates $11, but in a worse way. gofund.me/711f1548

That's so interesting.

That's a good rule.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for these Wave Rider High Tops. This is a special edition style. So once they're gone, they're gone forever. The same can be said about stingrays, if MacDonald's doesn't stop using stingray juice to make its Big Mac sauce. collabs.shop/ztewar

That explains a lot.

The best time to throw away five dollars is never. The second best time to throw away five dollars is right now so you can make the number bigger. gofund.me/711f1548

If we want to fix the economy, we need to legalize gambling for toddlers. Our focus groups found that the 12-36 months demographic is exceptionally talented at accumulating mass amounts of debt. We just need to give them the proper tools to do so.

More players should take advantage of this.

Big day for previous Democrat presidential candidates, as Kamala Harris announces she is becoming a full time TikToker and Hilary Clinton demands trial by combat.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "Rage Against The Dying Of The Light" Pin. Bezos is dismantling the Washington Post, the government is covering up ICE crimes, and the ultra rich are trying to bury the Epstein files. We're gonna need more rage, and lots of it. collabs.shop/bvpqrk

Reese Witherspoon is the greatest method actor of all time.

We made a comic about environmentalism.

I think he was right.

I love Mister Rogers.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Darth Maul Lightsaber, on sale for 40% off. Originally, Star Wars Episode 1 was supposed to have a huge twist where Darth Maul turned out to be Jar Jar Binks with facepaint on. The creators scrapped this idea because they are cowards. collabs.shop/8b0lbs

I love Hugh Jackman.

Unfortunately I was laid off by the Washington Post today. It was my job to tell Jeff Bezos I think bald is better than hair anytime he came into the office. Please let me know if anywhere is hiring for this exact same position.

You don't apply to become a writer on Real Time with Bill Maher. You go on social media and post something like "Joke idea: Woke dodgeball. Not allowed to throw the ball." Bill will dm you in 5-7 business days saying "hahaha my guy. You're hired."

Get ready.

Common advice: If you want to be successful, make sure to carefully proofread your emails and speak in a professional manner. Every single email from the richest people on the planet: "jeffrey.. Thank u for crzy party. Loved the hotdoggs. Lets talk biznss ideas. Maybe make monies tgthr???"

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "Thanks For Loving Me Even Though I'm Trash" Sticker. If you ever feel unworthy of being loved because you're trash, just remember that means your partner is a weird freak who is attracted to trash. You deserve each other. collabs.shop/vrbi3e