Constipated from shitposting, never.

Blessed from a boatload of sneezes.

Idioms are my love language.

My Mum was always the scotch tape queen. We’ve evidently moved into a decorative paper clip phase. Cute, really.

Fowl play is me making chicken instead of turkey for thanksgiving.

Sunrise.

If someone says “there’s something to be said about-“ rest assured it’s a lot more than just about something.

My red sauce comes in vats.

Pop my hip back in and chill?

Mood: On vinyl.

Grocery! Is a disco.

Let me guess.

Goofy dancing in the kitchen is where it's at.

The air smells of snow.

I speak more word caesar salad.

Foolishness. As it should be.

Pizza with Alfredo sauce cause cheese beats tomato or however that saying goes.

Self care is a giant plate of onion rings.

I seem to get the grocery cart with the wonky wheel. Strange gravitates towards me literally.

But wait there’s no more is more likely.

And as the sun rises.

Let’s twist again.

More cowbell, less screaming.

A soup that turned casserole. Story of my life right there.

Only in my dreams but then I wake and wonder.

Turkey in the straw sounds like a fowl coke problem to me.

One toast flying popcorn Thanksgiving, please.

Autocorrect changing I like you to I’d lick you is why I’m fun at parties.

Burnt sienna sunrise.

Wild night- but it’s the wind that has kept me awake.

And just when you think hot flashes are over, try eating something spicy.

My beatboxing name is Vortex.

Anyone starting a conversation with “first off…” and I’m already singing Bohemian Rhapsody in my head.

Weirdly superstitious, throwing salt over my shoulder.

Chic-a-cherry cola.

Stranded on a desert island vs stranded on a dessert island is why spelling is important.

Neighborhood text received: “YAY! The white turnip is in!” I can’t hardly contain myself.

No one says “you bet your bippy” anymore, and this saddens me.

It may seem like I’m burning the midnight oil, but I’m just doing up some home fries.

Weirdly or not, I just want chinese take out.

I’m really not that picky of an eater…it’s just Thanksgiving food that’s not my favorite.

I am definitely am rubbing off on my granddaughter. When she does something wrong & you ask her if she did it. She owns that shit like boss. Says yeah, smiles & keeps on going.

Just a girl in love with megalodons.

Y'all act like you didn't know.

It’s inevitable.

Looney Tunes was always my favorite cartoon which remarkably has turned into a life theme.

Once upon a dream.

Peak nirvana and chill?

If Pokémon go and Uno reverse had a baby, just stop.