if you’re cold, they’re cold. spark that blunt

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Time to lose a few days playing Jurassic World 3.

I wish there was an expiration date on the "Die Hard is a Christmas movie" (or any movie really) and "pineapple on pizza" internet discourse, painfully tedious.

My energy today is mostly decorative.

Shout out to everyone wearing new socks today.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness . . . some of us post shit on social media.

The details go astray.

It's Scrodinger's week: not sure if I'm dead or alive until after the new year.

I love having my coffee and cannabis under the lights of the tree.

The post side of the premonitions.

At this time of year, I'm more cookie than human.

Merry Christmas to you and yours❤️

"There's some hos in this house" is a Christmas song.

Scroll in heavenly peace.

Time to make the magic happen.

As a kid, I could never understand how an adult could have a full bowl of candy on their coffee table and not eat it all. As an adult, I still can't understand it.

Hold my hand at the end of the world* *year

a scepter made of bologna

Nothing says holiday spirit like a long line outside the liquor store on Christmas Eve morning, a beautiful reminder that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

if you post some unhinged stuff here on Christmas Eve, you can reflect on that next year to see if you have improved or continued your decline 🎄

One extra extra large coffee, please

what’s everyone having for fourth breakfast today?

The santa chase scene from Fred Clause is cracking me up.

"What's the matter with misfits? That's where we fit in!"

My body woke up and chose violence today.

Is 7am & it's still midnight.

Back off, brisket breath.

A very queso Christmas.

Fighting this flu like Rocky Balboa.

Don't forget to pause, and take it all in

Had a terrible nightmare, fools were about to eat some lead.

look, idk you, and you don’t know me, but I fckn like you.

The fire where you find it.

The water walking through the dark.

Who up dancing around a bonfire?

Yule witching hour strong af.

Here we go again.

Well, aren't we opinionated about the phrase "a lot" being two words when allot exists.

Imagine having the audacity to think anyone deserves a “special” place in hell. It’s ordinary hell for everyone!

Ok, I'm in a better mood now, maybe I just needed to eat. Story of my life.

Home Alone marathon while making cookies.

Crossed the border into a fugue state.

My combat efficiency has decreased to 65% and I may need to get to a repair cubicle soon.

Don't forget to defrost your big meats today.

This little one was hooting at me

Jingle all the way... to the liquor cabinet.

Has anyone ever made you so angry for existing that you cried in frustration bc there are not enough truly ugly words to describe how they made you feel? No? Just me then?