I love this crossover doll

If I had a lot of money I wouldn't have a lot of money very long.

Getting high and losing time.

hey, has anybody else been inexplicably sleepy all the time lately?

Now, where was I...

Anything can happen when you go outside.

So much to do, so little motivation.

Shine on, you lab produced diamond…

I told you I have a pretty pussy

Sunshine on a Friday always feels different

I love going to the salon to get my hair done so I can come home and bedrot with pretty hair.

I may not cut off my nose to spite my face, but I definitely cut off the top of my head to fit my tits in the pic.

I wonder if Smurfette was, like, super into gangbangs.

mentally ill for reading

Imagine killing the entire planet to make AI slop.

The show must go on.

Chat, when I tell you a dude came out of the woodwork after 10 years, and in our first conversation, he said he would've voted for RFK jr if he had run for president, I actually thought he was joking, but no, no he was serious. I am shook.

pardon me, I sent you “hi” in a DM, please fall in love with me

I wonder what tater tot nips is up to these days...

Ultra-premium dog food $79.99. My dog still eats his own poop. Who are we impressing here?

Calm down, peach

Sold!

Well, that was a wild ride.

my chia pet eventually grew into a blood sucking monster and scuttled off into the woods one nite

A group of us are going out to the woods tonight to scream our heads off. You in?

Maybe attacking Iran was a terrible idea? Just putting it out there.

I would say “you can’t make this shit up,” but … raise your hand if you’re surprised.

If I had a nice rack I’d be showing everyone

I wonder if my cat thinks I'm a dragon.

I’ve woken up from some sort of weird nap in a retirement community in West Philadelphia. I might be the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. How are you doing today?

agree to disagree? no, i don’t think so

You know what was fun about Twitter? There was a group of us that were hitting our mid-life crises all at the same time.

Gonna make some chili while these edibles kick in.

I like to say I'm looking for a Daddy, cuz I sure as hell ain't trying to be some man's mama.

Gotta give it to Jeep's marketing team, all I see are middle-aged, non-athletic people driving them trying to act like they're into the outdoors.

"Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out"

shout out to every whos going around thinking its monday

Me: I will always love you. Her: I could really go for a meatball sub.

I don’t like to brag, and it’s easy because I’m terrible.

Minimize me harder, bb, I'm almost there.

Someone with ADHD can say "recently" when it's been happening for 6 years.

Don't be fooled. It is Tuesday, but feels like Monday. I'll leave it at that.

Wonder if I'll be the last gen x'er to survive the zombie apocalypse?

Empaths are getting their souls kicked in the balls right now. It just means things are changing faster than the mind can keep up with and the discomfort will be real but possibly invisible to others. Accepting grief of futures that hasn't happened yet sure is something to be aware of.

I need a cigarette or 20.

Heart like a gaping wound.

✨

You don't make me feel like music and happiness, you make me feel like silence and sadness

Unless I'm doing it all, it will never be enough.