would you love me even if I said supposably

you're wearing your anguish again

I can only legally practice medicine in the same US states where it's legal to marry your first cousin

Valentine's Day is stupid but I still accept gifts. I'm not rude.

knitting Valentine's Day pajamas for the cats

Valentine's Day date idea: watch Dawson's Creek and cry

I can tell your super power would involve flatulence

Don't come in here, Jerry. It's 2026 in here.

The Kid Rock "concert" was such a failure, it has ruined the prospects for future white kids who start out appropriating hip-hop and then segue into a lukewarm version of southern fried rock. Think of all we will lose.

I read Shel Silverstein as a kid, we’re not the same

of course Jessica Alba is still hot

buy yourself a Valentine's Day gift, cause you deserve it. maybe.

you're welcome to learn Spanish anytime

it's a sign of your privilege if you've never had to "be political" it's probably about damn time you start

wrote a song about winter it's called Fuck It's Cold

when you racist so hard you're stuck pretending to like Kid Rock

Imagine attending my Super Bowl party wrong. more grocery store sushi.

And then, he was a Good Bunny. A very Good Bunny. The End.

wow bad bunny was awesome but I did not expect all the hardcore gay sex

Kid Rock makes music for people who peaked in high school

only American Idiots get upset about a halftime show

some people are perfectly happy to stay uncultured swine

He won’t apologize for the racist video. He’s never apologized for anything in his life. The man is a vile, loathsome human being.

This is gonna blow my ass out.

we could have cat toilets if not for big litter

If you bullshit someone in West Virginia, that's called a country crock.

it’s too cold outside to outside

can Mr.Bean eat beans or is that considered cannibalism

I'm ready for it, how about you?

forget your Irish Goodbye an Appalachian howdy is when you don't even show up at all

all containers of hummus are single servings of hummus

Laurel in the streets, Hardy in the sheets.

If food is a love language, then this is the sauce.

one of those family stick figure appliqués for your car window only they’re all hot dogs

When you think about it, air fryers are just easy bake ovens for adults

I either feel like a boiling pot of soggy cabbage or THAT bitch. There’s no in between

post malone is short for shitposter maloney

Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep, so loudly, that it stops other people from sleeping. It's like they are lying there screaming "I'M HAVING A LOVELY SLEEP" Hitting them with a pillow is a valid option right? Or a quick kick , “oh I must have been dreaming “ to wake them up too.

i wonder what people without children do with all of their free sanity

if you don’t throw a few seasonings on top of your bagel with cream cheese, i assume you hate life.

When I say I don't like chickens. I'm referring to 3 specific chickens. The neighbor's, who keep pooping on my deck.

the early 2000s were wild I attended dozens of Dave Matthews concerts completely sober

As a woman, you are never able to stand up for yourself without being called a bitch. Be comfortable with being a bitch.

I saw Kid Rock at Farm Aid in 2003 and he sucked then too

Sorry, the trans women I know have cool names.

hi is this where I apply for the shitposter position

Home is where the weed is

don't eat the snow

naps help