hot chocolate sea with little marshmallow boats

My cat has been using umlauts in some of her meows recently. It's subtle but I can tell

I’m starting to fear that there are no treats at the bottom of this rabbit hole.

¿ǝɹǝɥ ɯoɹɟ uʍop ǝɯ dlǝɥ noʎ uɐɔ

My boss knows I need to gnaw a little on my pile of bones every time I get stressed

People are too nonchalant about the fact that birds can talk.

invest in myself? in this economy??

Klimt's The Kiss, but it's just me and cheesecake.

This isn’t nostalgia, it’s grief wearing perfume.

kitten recording wet food reviews

Can’t believe it’s already October. Time flies when your life is falling apart

Gonna carve a pumpkin this month.

If you don’t see hot sauce on my dining table I’m being held against my will

too old for an arbitrary time to dictate when i smoke weed (looks at phone right at 420) better smoke more pot.

If at first you succeed, don't panic. Try try harder to ruin it.

it's okay government, i'm down too

i will forever be cringe & thou shalt know me by my cringeness

i like drawing portraits because there’s so little room for error. you mess up some little thing and it’s ruined

I'm auntifa

MAYBE ITS YOU WHO HAS INSUFFICIENT FUNDS BANK OF AMERICA

Leaving little post it notes around the world with messages like "Look left dipshit" "Hey asshole you are near a leaf" "Good job breathing, fucko" "Try inhaling the crisp autumn air, jackwad"

date with the moon at midnight

I must return to my protected enclosure with haste

I miss the days when TVs had absolute dump truck asses.

fart is short for fragrant art

Waiting on October to start.

One thing about me is I’m slow to catch on but boy when I do we are gonna revisit the topic

why is there so much day left at the end of my energy

every now and then after i roll a great blunt i hear jeff hayes’ voice say NEW ACHIEVEMENT in my head

Bluesky and Anime friendships are the same: you know each other for three hours and would die for them

talking about how pointless everything is rn reminded me how important the little things are

Trump: listen, it's, they call it a hippo-bar-hypobear-hypnobo-hypnoboot-hyp-o-bar-ic-hypobaric time chamber, it's how Goku got so powerful Journalist, her 13 fingers glitching into and out of existence: Goku is very powerful Trump: he will win our wars for us

No. Your friends don't secretly hate you. You're just dehydrated.

Oh THOSE depressed looking zombies? Yeah, that's just the existential dead

Salad forks being shorter is nuts: I need a longer (but also less dangerous) salad shovel for my salad bucket.

watch ur tone, im older than google

Cardigans: A thread

paninis aren’t nearly as tiny as they sound

when a group of shitposters hang out irl it’s a pooarty

Decidedly invited friends over for curry, so I'll probably not have leftovers, but do get some company.

the thing about projecting is, don't

who even raveled these mysteries

Yesterday's burrito fixins are today's nachos. Scarfed

Science question: I’ve been in Hell for 8 months—why do my hair and nails keep growing?

the neat thing about me is I complain if it is too hot OR too cold.

can you come outside and play?

slipping into another dimension* *music album

I think it’s time we brought back 80’s belly shirts for dudes

rip sisyphus you would have loved escalators