Sleeping under a fresh pile of laundry is proving to be too warm. Summer is here 🍊

Cracking open the avocado green shell of an old rotary phone with a heavy rock, that I might devour the delicious phonemeat within.

Why is it so much more gratifying to dislodge that thing in your teeth with your tongue rather than floss or toothpick?

i always ask them not to cut the pizza so I can just eat it like a big cookie

String cheese, but it's a hotdog.

Microplastics®️' Us

I want to sing everything

sunshine cornsilk typed this in yr closet in 1971…✨

🎩👌 🙂🤌 ⠀ 🚬🐇 🖐️ 🕳️ ⠀ ? 🎩👌 😕 🫴

This is a cat checkpoint, relinquish your most recent cat picture

generally, I want to see new and weird ideas in video games as opposed to remixes of existing concepts. at the same time, I feel like pokemon has been coasting on this low-effort stuff for so long that more people should absolutely try to improve upon their framework. they're barely even using it

After a long weekend away, it feels good to come home to my babies (mega stuf oreos)

sorry can’t, getting swole

"Hydrangea" by artist Reiko Kamano.

Take me to your pizza ✨

[from under my desk, in a pile of Starburst wrappers] what why would HR want to see me

I should be soaking up the sun but alas capitalism

i catastrophize because i care

Pay no attention to the brain behind the curtain.

Rubbing my face on my cat’s catnip toy just to feel something

i follow so many hot people h anging o n by a t hread

2050: Robots have become vulnerable to viruses and also demand lengthy lubrication breaks. Employers have resorted to hiring humans to do their work.

the thing about bsky being down is that I can't complain on bsky about bsky being down when it happens

big bubbas in your area want to sit down for a spell

Shit posting is an antidepressant.

It costs zero dollars to be unstable, and I love a good bargain

A little late, but letting my hair down for monochrome monday

Sweat is just body drippings that you should save to make gravy.

Interesting things happen when you move in silence.

Pez dispenser for beans

Do I need to crouch down in nature and eat a rotisserie chicken?

it’s my party and I'll utter the ancient words that reanimate the dead if I want to

a bee has been hovering outside my window for like 10 mins straight and i know intellectually it’s probably just confused but emotionally it feels like i’m being summoned

Whenever I fall down, I always quickly stand up and yell "TA-DA!!!" so everyone knows I meant to do that

The night person in me won't understand the morning person in you.

My body and brain are broken, but my soul is soaring.

I like the picture of the pizza you posted. Now order me one so I won’t feel left out.

“What do you do for fun?” Start projects I'll never finish

For the most part, I would say that struggling to pay your bills does not make you a better artist, but it can make you a bitter artist

whoever invented laying in bed knew what they were doing

Commenting “this is AI” on any baby announcements I see on social.

guys, let's do 7 minutes in heaven but instead we'll just go into the closet and hold each other while we cry

I bring a certain "rips open the bag before realizing it's resealable" energy

On this date in 2026, I went back to bed.

Anyway, I successfully ate saucy ribs in bed like a king, so it ain’t all bad

He's Just Not That Inside of You

More like Carpe DM, amirite?

it’s interesting how much of life feels like you’re dying