baked potato bodysuit with crispy skin shell

Bringing Rice Krispie treats to the Solstice Blood Sacrifice tomorrow

Nietzsche once called Kant "the catastrophic spider of German philosophy," in case you thought millennials invented shade.

Dough-not underestimate the power of a freshly glazed donut to make your day.

There is an ocean in the sky

Actual artists feel weird about selling their art, because they know selling it is only part of the reason they created it. GenAI fuckwits don't feel that at all. They had a plagiarism machine regurgitate it for money, there is zero other reason for it to exist.

Visitors are coming, so you clean your messy house because your standard of cleanliness is based on the houses you visit, houses that look spotless since they cleaned up before you arrived after seeing your house was clean when they visited. Together, we can stop this. Don’t clean up.

hope the music finds you, always

Sofa king full.

I just killed a bug and said “sorry, buddy” as I flushed him down the toilet

I feel like smoking weed gives my emotions a whore's bath

sour grapes are just regular grapes that are green with envy

I'm actually really funny if you've never heard a joke before

slipping in and out of dissociation like a game of peek-a-boo

paintings are nice but have you tried staring at the wall

omg get out of my way! (i’m HEALING!!✨)

if I worked in a secret lab I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be science

I think the*most* unbelievable facet of mermaids is that they're sexy, slender, and lithe, and not built like yoked out water polo dudes.

Croissants are my favorite food for when I'm in the mood to wear half of what I'm eating.

solidarity with trans people and death to fascism

nothing's original except regret

He's a ten, but he doesn't own a Star Trek Enterprise pizza cutter

Everyone who can't switch to Linux because of Adobe or CSP or Ableton is 100% legit and it's sad, because the ecosystem only shored up ranks of the Gamer Army through massive labor subsidies via Valve's infinite money, and no one has business interests aligned to do that on those other fronts.

whoa is this your nose? i found it in my business

removing my nervous system would fix me

You have no idea what I’m incapable of.

Filling a pez dispenser with antidepressants

I'm staying in 2025 next year. Still got plenty more shit to ruin.

i feel like if public libraries were able to find a way to capitalize on chili cheese dogs and nachos as a little study snack they’d be doing mad business

Burning some time with a quiz poomang.com/en/t/mycolor...

Eating a fatal amount of Holiday Nerds

I anxiety, therefore I am.

Inhaling another bowl of curry, then getting back to work. Jinxed myself a little bit yesterday lol

Which one is my cyanide tooth?

how dumb do the people who bought 3D teevees feel about it I wonder- did they just immediately buy a normal teevee the next year, or put tape over the logo and pretend? There's probably one guy out there who's just got Avatar and that one Imax reef documentary on repeat

Whatever make it 10 factor authentication.. I don't want to be able to sign into anything ever again

I don't know what I'm doing, but I do it all day long

When we all get imprisoned for posting I’m definitely gonna be going around the yard asking what y’all said that got you locked up & it better be a banger because that’s how we’ll be establishing our hierarchy

Dream of me While I dream of you We hold each other close Until the night is through

are you putting hot sauce on your fries or are you just wrong every time?

Idk if you guys know this but people online are very very dumb and annoying Except us. We’re cool.

Bruh this 93 corolla has manual windows. You must crank ah dah lever. Heart swell.

Seems like low-hanging fruit that there isn’t a candle company called “John Wick.”

a bluesky choose your own adventure thread

May have over-served this bowl, but I will inhale every grain.

she's a 10 but she's at least 238,855 miles away, floating in the night sky

I think a lot of nostalgia for the 90s and 00s comes from wanting a society where a 20 something can afford a shitty apartment with a shitty job, and you could get a shitty job.

Me: Pssst! Hey buddy! *I open my trench coat to show you the truth. There was no skin, only the rustle of a thousand lapels. I wasn't wearing the coat. I was the coat*

It's a perfect night to barbeque

Today, I clicked “forgot password” just to feel something.