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“Buzz off”, “take a hike”, and “get real” all come from the same place spiritually

Mushrooms aren’t the internet of the forest they’re the gossips

Here is a nice mushroom

Imagine thinking mushrooms aren’t beautiful, how stupid

When a booboo comes along / you must kiss it

Starting my next video call standing in the corner Blair Witch style

Why do they keep making the clocks go faster

If you’re going through the forest and a little gnome pops out and demands you answer his riddles three or be turned into a fine pair of magical boots, keep going

Here are some nice mushrooms

[transylvania, police interrogation room] COP: you stabbed Dimitri in the heart… with a… VILLAGER: with a stake, yes COP: and he died… meaning he was… VILLAGER: was a dracula COP: was a dracula POLICE CAPTAIN *nodding*: was a dracula

'tis (almost) the season 🎄

“Is this my first rodeo?” I asked, waking up after getting kicked in the head by my horse

Here are some nice mushrooms

You shouldn’t have to work if there’s a bird outside you want to watch

Uh oh they just mastered fire

I have the ability to eat bread and cheese and stare into a fire for basically an unlimited amount of time and for this I think I would have made a good peasant

Here are some nice mushrooms

Racoon: what is this stuff? Me: it’s our garbage Racoon: it’s delicious, I understand why you chase me away from it, do you eat it? Me: no we’re trying to get rid of it Racoon: ok I guess I don’t fucking understand at all then

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🎃 happy spooky time 🎃

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Inside of me are three turtles. One is chilling on a log in the sun. The other two are on a first date and it’s going really well. I’m so happy

Here are some nice mushrooms

There’s a hole in my roof where the soup gets in, which only raises more questions

Dark arts ✨

Car salesperson: this baby can go from zero to 60 in 7 seconds Abraham Lincoln: what Car salesperson: zero to 3-score in under a score Abraham Lincoln: HOLY SHIT

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Here is a nice mushroom

Friend: do you keep a log of the mushrooms your forage Me, thinking of the log I brought home that was growing oyster mushrooms: yes

Ducks are masters of land, sea, and air, truly fearsome

Here are some nice mushrooms

Sorry I pulled all the stuffing out of your jacket and you got mad, I guess you don’t care how warm my nest is this winter

Share if you agree

I have successfully beaten your limbo challenge I passed cleanly under the bar WHY ARE YOU LOWERING THE BAR I have already passed the challenge this is bullshit

Smoking a giant cigar that’s actually a disguised stick of dynamite which blows off your head and leaves nothing but a whisp of smoke, not even once

Here are some nice mushrooms

JRR Tolkien inventing Gollum - “this story needs a weirdo”

Just because I’m a dumbass doesn’t mean you’re right

Here is a nice mushroom

Fruit is so stupid. It’s delicious and turns bright red when it’s ripe. I can see you dumbass

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Heavens to Betsy Betsy to Heavens Heavens BACK to Betsy Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL

Top 4 sounds “gh” can make: 4) gh 3) gh 2) gh And the classic 1) gh

“le toot” - french horns

Here are some nice mushrooms

The luminous light of your soul is really noticeable today homie

My message is simple: there’s hella nice mushrooms out here