the grass is greener wherever you stand bc you are the sun

i need one of those big long cigarette holders people had in the 1930s so i can look like a proper scoundrel

My favorite game is face down, ass up

It's Friday, I'm in love

Everything reminds me of you (mega stuf oreos)

I. AM. HUNGER.

Tried to get a picture of a horse dick for y'all

Being murdered by a murder of crows would probably fix me.

Pure, uncut stuf

I actually love my co-workers and I think they're wonderful

Thinking about you (oreos)

New fangled. Old fangled. Feeling fangled af.

PokeyMan Cards

The ghosts were loneliness the entire time

OH EM GEE loOoOove this feature

It's better to have the bones and not need them, than to need the bones and not have them

I prefer a nice bone-in pillow

You are now free to legally die

Nobody needs to listen to The Low Boy that many times

too stressed to be blessed or whatever jesus said

Beach day

Kohala Coast sunset

If cats could text you, they wouldn't.

Let's take a nap about it

Did I say psychic? I meant autistic

Probably I am psychic, maybe

It is Friday my cunts 💖

I don't want it easily, I want you to ruin me

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you wanna)

If we hang out for any length of time you'll learn 2 things about me, 1) I pee a lot, 2) ... I guess it's just the pee thing, really

Never meet your mutuals @vincenzzzo.bsky.social

Music streaming services be like, that's a nice collection of 500 songs you've got there. Be shame if I were to play the same 20 over and over

normalize excusing yourself from various situations by saying “i hate this”

I'ma eat a baby ('s weight in meat and cheese)

Stroke my hair and trauma dump sweet nothings into my ear

I can stop eating oreos whenever I want. I just don't want to

Hot singles in your area are clinically insane.

These are my emotional support horse tranquilizers

How to be adorable on the internet

Oh no I woke up

Sad sacks and hungry ghosts.

You physically cannot eat while taking an extended depression nap in the middle of the day. Follow me for more health and fitness tips

Could a depressed person do this?! (eats a 6-pack of reese's eggs in one sitting)

Unfortunately, my fits are never fly

@alternative-ama.bsky.social @valleyguitarist.bsky.social you too. This was hilarious. Chef’s kiss.