Bluesky feed is like ------------------ we're doomed ------------------ we're doomed ------------------ we're doomed ------------------ cute kitty! ------------------ we're doomed ------------------ we're doomed ------------------ [adult content] ------------------ we're doomed ------------------

Oh thank god the mutuals feed is working again

If cats don’t want to be held like babies then why baby sized

I showed my bluesky account to my psychiatrist and she said I could pick whatever medication I want

Rest in peace, Dr. Goodall 😢

good morning bluesky friends ❤️

This might be one of those days where I get stabby

It's officially October 1st so that means you all have to repost Assorted cheese hell.....yes

are they gonna tell us when to stop "saving for retirement"?

I figured out why my cat was mad at me - he wasn’t. I had changed to a new blanket that was a different texture and when I went back to one of the old ones he started hanging out with me again. So I guess I gotta give that one away now. Yes, I live my life based on the whims of a cat

To this day, when my son calls me and says “Mama,” I have flashbacks of this day. “What?” I said. “Someone just ran over a bunch of the kids on the team right in front of me. I think at least one of them is dead.” None of these kids will ever be the same. They better not have messed this up.

Unlocked #CFBsky SEC power rankings and The RDS Top 10 #Sooners www.patreon.com/posts/unlock...

stay tuned for more levels of uncool

She gave up

My dog needs to figure out that my arms aren’t 10 feet long…if I’m on the bed with a cat on my lap she can’t stand at the foot of the bed and whine for me to pet her

just a little crush, a squish, if you will

I came out of my room from scanning a patient and my boss looked right at me and said “my little hippopotamus”. Turned out she was talking about her daughter’s dog. I thought I was her little hippopotamus ☹️

Oh no…there’s trouble afoot

Are we there yet

The sky is breathtaking this morning. I almost don’t mind having to drive to work when the sky is pink and purple

Women only want alpha chads like count chockula and captain crunch or the lucky charms leprechaun

The best thing about my son always ordering quesadillas at Mexican restaurants is that he doesn’t like guacamole so I always get to steal it

I’m here to amuse myself, not to make any goddamn sense

Oops! All Nut November

Just told my dad I met an absolute legend today and got a thumbs up in reply. Dads, man

If someone told me this was @amberkitty.bsky.social I'd believe them

Please forward my mail to this corn maze. I'm never getting out

Listen I know it’s the 29th but Monday is the beginning of the month if you really think about it. So that means it’s Halloween

I say really bad words here, but in my defense, I’m trying to teach you the language of my people

listen up liberal. i dont play any of your WOKE video games. i put COINS into an ARCADE MACHINE like a god damn AMERICAN. i DIE on the first level SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES. and when i RUN OUT OF COINS, i ask my MOMMY for more like a GOOD CITIZEN

"Not gonna lie," he lied

There’s some really good stuff here

You can pry my end-of-text “lol” out of my cold dead hands

In more positive news, I remembered to order my friend’s birthday present that I’ve been meaning to do since her birthday in July

I put the at in what the hell is wrong with her

I don't understand the appeal of chicken wings. Like, here's some spicy bones, you'll need a shower afterwards.

The kids are making dinner tonight and I’m grateful but I’m also starving and they need to hurry the eff up

In the 2000s Jack Johnson released the same song 7 times and we all let it happen

all this time we were watching out for the rhythm and its the algorithm that finally got us

Find you a gal that already has your casket and hearse picked out

I haven’t been able to pick up the blanket I’m making for myself in forever but my son sent me a Marcus the worm pattern and asked me to make it for his birthday and that is relevant to both of our interests so how can I say no

Hi! Do you need something ruined? For a small fee, I can handle that for you. I have experience really screwing up a wide range of things. References provided upon request

taking my ants to a farm upstate

I still don’t know for sure what he was mad about but he’s been back to normal and sleeping with me and laying on my lap for the last three days so I guess he’s over it now. He picked a great time, he heals my soul

20% of the people that follow you hate you

Shit is really getting ridiculous…my brain made up a commercial to play in between my dreams

not now responsibility, the people in my phone need me

A short story

I’m in big trouble guys. My dogs smell my friend’s 5 dogs all over me. Send help

Fox is gonna bring out markwayne mullin to talk about how he fears for his life every time he goes to a Portland microbrewery