mark magark
@markedly.bsky.social
📤 3796
📥 137
📝 583
Abolish ICE
Please do not April fools me tomorrow I am too fragile I might bleat like a goat
20 days ago
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They named a moving company after what I shout at the height of ecstasy
28 days ago
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I’m a Pangea nostalgist. Put it back together
about 1 month ago
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mark magark
Ygrene
about 1 month ago
(explaining war to a conservative in a way that they might understand) bombing a country is kind of like changing their cracker barrel logo
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mark magark
Ygrene
over 1 year ago
doctor: your blood glucose is over 800 cookie monster: is that bad doctor: sir it's deadly Cookie Monster: (softly) me want cookie
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Tonight I am making space to be grateful for all the nights I DIDN’T find a centipede in my bed
about 2 months ago
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mark magark
Sweatpants Cher
about 2 months ago
mom come get me the world is being callous toward my tender heart
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Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
about 2 months ago
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[painstakingly transferring my bodily waste to the sink]
about 2 months ago
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If an evil mastermind asked me to do their bidding I’d probably do it, I just like being helpful
about 2 months ago
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Yeah I'm making a BLT... a Bird-Like Tweedle! I'm whistling baby
2 months ago
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krat
2 months ago
No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor
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@amfmpm.bsky.social
hey man any chance we can get some heathcliff and Cathy shirts to wear to the movie?
2 months ago
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Arizona Right Watch
3 months ago
Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before he died by suicide: “He might have thought ‘how is this my fault I had no jurisdiction over this’ maybe he said ‘this site was not subject to local zoning.’”
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Sometimes it’s hard to accept that a person is bad because they are so beautiful on the outside
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Let the dough rest for 12-24 hours. I am the dough.
3 months ago
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Whole crowd started booing when Samson put the loincloth on lmao
3 months ago
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mark magark
Ygrene
3 months ago
saw a group of scientists looking at my posts and they were all nodding their heads emphatically
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idk maybe just ride out the electrical issue and see how it goes, keep it casual
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Business idea: take a nap
3 months ago
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Every movie should have the subtitle The Bone Temple For example, When Harry Met Sally: The Bone Temple
3 months ago
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mark magark
Josh Gondelman
3 months ago
"It wasn't murder, and if you say it was murder we will kill you, which again will not be murder."
add a skeleton here at some point
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[looking at paintings from a Renaissance master] wow my man sure could do it
3 months ago
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mark magark
ceej
3 months ago
"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives
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I regret to inform you that my parents have somehow bought a new TiVo
4 months ago
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mark magark
RM
over 1 year ago
[beaver dad picking out a Christmas tree with the Home Depot clerk] so which one would you say is the most delicious
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mark magark
Travis comma bitch
about 1 year ago
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I'll be your pilot today and, uh damn that's a lot of buttons. That's a lot of fucking buttons
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When you get into your 30's and 40's pop culture starts making up musical artists. They pretend these fake bands are popular just to make you feel bad
5 months ago
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Unfortunately someone that I respect immensely is also hot as hell
5 months ago
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mark magark
RM
5 months ago
Cyber Monday is here and deals are going fast! These deals are diaphanous. They are receding even as we speak, becoming mere memories of deals, prices longed for but lost, hints at what could have been had for less. A golden slant of sun through window falls on an empty countertop. Act now.
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ok computer give papa his dopamine
5 months ago
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Told my girlfriend she has beautiful hair and she said "no, it looks like worms." What do I do now
5 months ago
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ok why is lying in bed with my eyes closed making me sooo tired rn
5 months ago
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Just now noticing that I can click the "remember me" box on my coworker who calls me Carl
5 months ago
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mark magark
Scott Cave, Doggerland Ponderer
5 months ago
a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen
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mark magark
Brendel
5 months ago
Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine
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mark magark
LorennaCleary.bsky.social
5 months ago
A TikToker did a social experiment where she called churches to get help to buy formula to feed her baby. Every church repeatedly declined to help. TikTok now can’t stop talking about the experiment. /
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mark magark
Viktor Winetrout
5 months ago
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
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mark magark
RM
5 months ago
ME [to the demon possessing my body]: I feel like lately you're just going through the motions, that your heart just isn't in it. THE DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY: *turns my head coldly away, looks quietly out the window*
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God I love when old pieces of shit stop existing ♥️
6 months ago
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mark magark
Scott Cave, Doggerland Ponderer
9 months ago
no, I said I wanted a tradewife. like a union electrician
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Ran out of things to say but probably gonna be alive for another 40-50 years, this sucks
6 months ago
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"If you aren't mad, you ARE paying attention" -my anger management teacher
6 months ago
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mark magark
mr potato
7 months ago
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit
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darn chaumbrelauwn
7 months ago
last night was so cool
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mark magark
They should invent a food that you don’t have to freakin rinse off
11 months ago
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mark magark
Read the book Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell)
7 months ago
We should be extremely clear about this: fascists like Charlie Kirk have spent the last decade inciting political violence. They created the current climate and the only way to change course and end the violence we’re witness is to comprehensively defeat fascism.
www.jphilll.com/p/charlie-ki...
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Charlie Kirk and fascists created this climate of political violence
The 47th school shooting of the year took place on September 10th, 2025.
https://www.jphilll.com/p/charlie-kirk-and-fascists-created
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mark magark
CHOAM Economics
7 months ago
I’m not confident of much but I can tell you that no matter how it happens my last words won’t be blaming mass shootings on trans people
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Using the men’s room at a wnba game
7 months ago
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mark magark
Ray
almost 2 years ago
(take on me voice) 🎶 fuuuuuuck thiiiiiiis shiiiiiit
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