i thought i remembered that name:

In my day we had uncs and chopped and screwed rap now it's 2026 and the uncs are chopped and we are all screwed!

you never know what you're getting yourself into when you demo the back walls in these old pussies

Don (pitching): The baby knows you used to be a piece of shit. The baby thinks people can't change. You're not changing the baby's mind. We need to move the conversation forward. Change isn't always good, right? One of the junior ad guys: Maybe it's the baby who has bad vibes!

They're calling me the no fap don draper

Grinch (making you uncomfortable at Christmas party): I'm not worried about the Whos, know what I mean, I'm too busy counting all these other Ws. The Where's my hug. The When's the after party. The Why's she entitled to half of every Christmas I steal

Had to redo some wiring in the door of the truck the other day and had an existential shock when, for the first time in my life, my dad held the flashlight for me

Dying at this review of Richard Linklater's Slacker

Uncs on parade

I always assumed "like you want me" is the default mode for titty sucking. I guess there are people out there phoning in the titty sucking but I didn't know it needed a PSA

call me baby yoda the way i'm suckin on green tits

a little walkin' around monkey

always loved A Christmoos Story

the grinch literally stole christmas. and of course Dr. Seuss, who’s always been desperate for eyeballs and clicks and ad dollars, platforms him. 🙄

guy who thinks the expression "Right on the money" is "Right on the monkey"

The grinch in “goodfellas”: *narration* For us to live any other way was nuts. Those Who’s who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day, and worried about their bills, were dead. I mean, they were suckers. They had no balls. If I wanted Christmas, I just took it.

Here’s a guy with 1.2k followers and over a thousand posts bsky.app/profile/thei...

happy solstice from our family to yours

now that they redacted the files, we will never know if donald trump is a pedophile

why are people so mean on this site

There are people out there who think "I have a meeting" makes them sound busy

What a fucking idiot

HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering* ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin DETECTIVE: ME: are you getting apricot notes

I've been seeing a lot of formulations of "Trump Claims, Without Evidence, That Rob Reiner Died of Trump Derangement Syndrome" and I think in this instance the qualifier promotes the claim to an unwarranted seriousness

Hazing scandal at the prayer warrior academy

over at @theatlantic.com, they let me write about how Heat is just a regular-type romance movie. here’s a guest link www.theatlantic.com/culture/2025...

We are going to make RFK drink the dip from who framed Roger Rabbit

Thank you for calling. All of our agents are currently consumed with lascivious and abominable rites of the phallus. Did you know you can check your account online? All you have to do is drain your blood into an ash bowl and we'll do the rest

Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus Santa's starting to change All the elves are fleeing in terror Gee those sounds are strange

Your boy did sell more than Meghan McCain tho 💪

Hot Cheetos and a coke with a splash of angostura bitters can be dinner

Movie about a 5'9" Frankenstein

"prediction market" is a term only a gambling addict could come up with

They call this sicko "the tooth fairy" on account he knocks victims out with gas and pulls their teeth. Common sense says our killer has a job dealing with teeth. A tooth salesman, the manager of a tooth bank. Canvas the neighborhoods and see who's flashing new teeth. Our perp jingles when he walks.

The fact that autocorrect has only gotten worse over time makes me pretty sure AI isn't going to replace anyone except gangstalkers and MKULTRA handlers

Faking the funk is not a victimless crime

It's always the last patient of the day who has a Chinese menu in his hand, looking for a place called Lee Ho Fooks

jeans no undies after squats and whirlpool feels so powerful

a møøse once bit my sister...

Withnail and I is a Thanksgiving movie, I’ve decided. It’s cold and rainy but clearly not the dead of winter, they go to a relative’s house, they have an unwanted visitor, they cook a bird…

saw a sign that says May Ice In Cold Weather but that's how i always assumed it goes down

Sending my PCP 16 portal messages in a row that all say "i have a hammer"

Well that answers my question

Indiana Jones and The "If You're Gonna Ride My Ass At Least Pull My Hair" bumper sticker from Christ's 2008 Ford focus

modern indiana jones decides the earthenware carpenter's cup is too obviously handmade and expensive-looking, and selects the "world's greatest boss" mass-produced Minion mug

I want to know who the hell is choosing a dinner plate here

If I'm ever in a situation where I'm made to look the tom fool I act calmly as if it is but part of my master plan

The FBI maintains a list of closeted homiesexuals. If you're asking whether you're on it, just assume you are