You could really destroy a lot of chronic posters on her with a “IS that what happened though?”

Remember early Covid when the government was like use bleach wipes on all of your Chinese takeout. Cause if it’s so bad we gotta wipe down boxes maybe we shouldn’t be having people deliver Chinese food.

Massachussetts awards triple damages for failure of lessor to place a security deposit in escrow I love this state

The now you see me movies are so funny cause it’s like “tah dah it disappeared” in a movie. Yea bitch I saw a Star Wars I know you can do that with computers.

Now this is posting

It’s disappointing when an author does or says something morally reprehensible and forever taints any joy we used to derive from their art. There’s always debate about whether or not we should continue to consume their works. But I think it’s trickier for more collaborative arts like movies:

(President Trump: I love the guy. He's a communist, but he's like my Indian son. JD Vance: [closing a 4chan draft calling Zohran Mamdani a "filthy pajeet terrorist"] I mean look: absolutely, sir. Tell me how to feel and I will try.

The drugs.com AI is working spectacularly well

God I love finding people I hated in college on LinkedIn and seeing whatever fake jobs they’ve been doing for the last 10 years. So glad you landed at Entrée with 10 years of brand strategy king. I remember when you puked in my dorm room.

This is good. I'm willing to bet a good portion of the new hires at ICE since Trump 2 are on sex offender/child abuse/domestic abuse lists in addition to a chunk of pardoned J6ers. Wonder how many ICE 'employees' are being paid under the table and not even registered as official hires, too

There is no solution other than to completely exclude those who work for and with ICE from civil society.

I just got a CT scan turns out there are a number findings that are non-specific but nonetheless consistent with That Bitch, recommend clinical correlation

Desiccated SpongeBob is the healthiest version

😭

Wow

"why must you hate innovation so!" I boldly proclaim as my undercooked algorithm prematurely murders your grandma

Any senator who votes for Casey means approval should be exempt from EMTALA

I can't believe a guy who doesn't believe in school would use a metaphor that doesn't make any sense

Consultant brought in to layoff 10% of rural hospital staff: I think it's important to take fifteen minutes each day to practice gratitude.

pharma exec who just raised prices for a niche biologic: setting a goal for myself to be more mindful and find joy in my work ☺️

CFO of child dismemberment at Lockheed Martin: I’m going to start setting boundaries at work.

the year is 2007, you are watching someone with a personality disorder game out how to get positive replies on social media the year is 2015, you are watching someone with a personality disorder game out how to get positive replies on social media the year is 2026, you are watching someone wi

Seronegative hyperviscosity syndrome

(sea monster bio) You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

BBC PRESENTER: Kazzummer Keroo. Madgimmer Gahro. Kassugger Itchy-ban. You’ve seen their travails through the Kammerotcho district on your video game console. But you might not know their stories are based on a real organized crime syndicate: the Yackuzzer

Oh we’re all gonna operate “at the top of our licenses”. What does that fucking mean? Like you’re gonna hire someone who only has a sixth grade education to open doors for me while I hover in a tank doing telekinetic medicine?

I’m a heterodox air traffic controller. There is literally no data that proves plane crashes are bad.

The cardiothoracic surgeons had a disproportionate influence on CABG guidelines put out by the AHA. I am Jesse Singal. My brain is very bad.

I'm sorry but it made me laugh 🦉☕🥧

I read the bad Jess Singal piece. It largely boils down to, “expert consensus is not peer reviewed research so we shouldn’t trust it until it reverses to go the direction I like.” He should still do the honorable thing.

What if It Happened during the state of the union?

It's a feature of capitalism! The problem isn't hurr durr everyone is stupid except for me. There is no study, discipline, or truth of "politics," it's not something you can do to make anything better. it's just part of your personal brand like religion and sports

This is doing numbers cause it’s funny but it is alarmingly true that due to complete capture of our education system by capital we produce the lost inscrutable politically illiterate chuds on the planet and it’s killing us.

What's up Bluesky! My name is Chris, I'm 42, I'm a software engineer at a start up that is disrupting the debt collection space, Xaya the busty pansexual lemur is my OC

You think "the online left" is unhinged, dog please talk to an independent voter IRL. They want universal healthcare and abolish taxes. They want to dissolve the coast guard. They want to rename the army the coast guard. They want their alien implants removed, and they also want more alien implants

I want to be in the room when It Happens

I’m sorry I don’t think we need a 960 SAT guy in power. I think we can still be inclusive and require over a 1200.

2007, what a time

Putting my ailments next to my name like degrees and certifications

If your job depends on Twitter you’re not even real to me. Like what are you gonna do if I turn off the screen? Starve.

Post here or don't, man, but stop whining about it.

Actually journos and pundits whining about how they are being treated here is an EXTREMELY pre Elon twitter thing. This just proves Bluesky is getting better actually.

East coasters getting BRUTALLY SNOWMOGGED by WETMAXXING stormoids spiking their cortisol when they should be out SALTGOONING the walkways.

am i crazy or is this just cunty peter griffin

I read this book about your junk