you do not need a gallbladder to live más

i need you guys to appreciate this absolute unit of a french fry

well there goes that test case for the 3rd amendment challenge

It's Their Time

you freaks gotta be more comfortable being freaks. you can’t be doing freaky shit and then freak out when someone says you’re doing freaky shit. what part of let your freak flag fly do you not get

time to bring back ClarisWorks

admin somehow learning just now that the real business of oil companies is simple collusion to manipulate supply and prices and dumping a bunch of oil on the market with no notice doesn't actually help them

Reading some one star user reviews for the Draft Kings app:

The little band from Texas you know I'm a ZZ Top ass Kickin music wigs well Dressed Man sleeping bag and 100 more just like this Kid Rock and ZZ Top cuz I'II keep listening rock on brother

every day this website gives something to help me practice my “that’s none of my business” reflex

my google maps app has a 1 notification on it and i have no idea what that could even represent. opening the app brings no clarification to the matter.

this is exactly how dick van dyke dies in this movie

this was such the perfect time period to write these stories. plains, trains, and hotels. expensive long distance phone calls of variable connection quality. no surveillance cameras. traveler’s checks and passports without electronic databases. what a time to be alive and do crime.

What I’m reading in 2026: 1) Horror Stories - E. Nesbit Another horror story collection whose cover art suggests far more gruesome tales than what is actually contained within. Not much in here to offer, save for “The Three Drugs” which would have fit in nicely among the pages of Weird Tales

“I don’t think we should kill children” *crowd cheers, applauds* “And I also don’t think we should, through our own inaction, allow children to be killed.” *crowd boos, throws objects*

little tongue sticking out

i knew someone who looked like this in real life. his hair was shorter though.

we could’ve had a lot more fun with a Tom Ripley cinematic universe. end credits of Ripley Underground saying “Tom Ripley will kill again in 𝙍𝙞𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙮’𝙨 𝙂𝙖𝙢𝙚”

Verbatim something Karen would say on VEEP

Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state

news anchor who never leaves the studio after hours and sits motionless in his chair when the lights are off: “would you say that this regime change is overall beneficial to the citizenry?” lady who has never blinked her entire life: “absolutely.”

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Gentleman you can't fight in here! This is the goon cave!

i’ve tried to summarize my understanding of american hegemony as succinctly as possible:

bad enough that they were scrolling twitter in the situation room, but what are they even wearing here??

In hindsight it was a bad idea to put a child molester with dementia in charge of everything. That’s our bad. That one’s on us

never much seen the point in debating strategy with people who don't share your objectives

source amnesia is a real concern i have now with AI-generated summaries at the top of every search result. i try to scroll as quickly as possible to the non-AI results but every now and then my eyes will catch something (how can they not?), and i worry i’ll remember that hallucination as fact

if you were in college during your first “No Blood For Oil” protest then now is a good time to discuss with your doctor which age-appropriate cancer screenings are right for you.

U.S. Senate Will Vote To Close Barn Door Next Week

stupid

government of the rich powerful perverts, by the rich powerful perverts, for the rich powerful perverts

call your representatives and senators RIGHT NOW and then watch a clip of them say “well of course i don’t agree with how it was done but it had to be done”

hey guys check out this screenshot i took of the lying machine lying to me

why is it always in the eyes

irredeemable country built on slavery and lies

blunt force trauma to the head? tom ripley you clever son of a bitch you’ve done it again!

the gods were right; man was not meant to tame fire

amelia bedelia was a visionary

“what if every time you used our app, something illegal happened?” -current business model of every tech company

it’s always heartwarming to see the community come together and yell at someone for their terrible thought to such an extent that they delete their terrible thought

they finally did it. they finally made the tide pods into candy.

i thought i remembered that name:

every time I open LinkedIn i feel myself growing closer to having a Howard Beale moment

swearing my oath on the enron people’s choice cookbook

bad thoughts from a stupid mind