imagine looking at amish people and genuinely thinking "yeah, essentially none of these guys are autistic"

Guys, guys, come quick. Our stupid fucking president is trying to read and pronounce the word "acetaminophen" lmao

when someone says something fatphobic, and has those little creases near their mouth so I can tell they used to be fat themselves, but they don't have any before pictures so I can't prove it

As opposed to Israel, which I assume is a pretty cool and safe place to live right now. A place where, again I assume, they are well-known for being tolerant of others' differences.

We will continue to make the economy Scream until Jimmy Kimmel is given anything He desires.

I'd like to make a bet with all of the people on TikTok who believe the rapture is going to happen tomorrow: If it doesn't, you have to seek serious psychological help and start taking medicine to help you better navigate life with your delusions And if the rapture *does* happen, I will eat my hat

Love having some ailment, googling the symptoms multiple times, finally finding a reddit thread that describes it perfectly, and then it's all 45 year old men going "I have this too. Don't know what it is. UPDATE: never found out what it is. 2 years later, it's about 20-30% better."

Happy Monday, everyone. Let's smash this week!!!

Honestly, the weirdest reaction to all of this was when these texts first came out, and everyone for some reason was acting incredulous that an early 20s terminally online weirdo who committed an act of incredible violence would have stilted speech-style diction. Like, be fr.

this is how i'm sitting in the right-turn lane at a red light, horns blaring behind me, when i just don't particularly feel like turning right on red~

There's no chance that Trump believes in God lol

if it's sunday, the freakin BUFFALO BILLS!!!!

"alcoholic drinks" yeah, sounds like a likely thing for him to do

You cannot denounce "political violence" without denouncing a genocide. There's literally no argument, it definitionally cannot happen.

Hmmm.... Actually, after thinking about this for a little bit, I think Trump voters can still suck my nuts.

This dude supersetting on the only hack squat and only plate-loaded leg press machine is sooo lucky that I still have to get 15,000 more steps today. Otherwise I would actually be mildly annoyed and still not ask to work in or anything..... So lucky.

I am going to watch the memorial service tonight. [🧵1/?] I didn't agree with everything that he said. His idiosyncratic worldview led to some objectionable views. But deep down, I could see he was a guy with a good heart full of love, that just got knocked around a little on its way out-

I bet more people would go to Panera if it didn't smell like that.

Could you imagine if someone posted on Facebook like "Guys, let's all boycott Facebook for a week and demand that we can post porn"? lol

The lion does not concern himself with wiping.

First thing I'm doing when I get to heaven is checking out the World Trade Center.

in 5-10 more years when my body actually starts looking a way that you can sort of tell that I do strength training 5 days a week, it'll be soooo over for everyone...

Okay, apparently free speech is back, and let's just say that I am going to get a lot of Starbucks employees to say something really, really, really, really, really bad.

On the one hand, I do fundamentally believe in the "You don't have an expectation of privacy in public" It's just hard to contend with that principle when I also believe "If someone starts video recording you in public, you should be legally allowed to smash their phone."

if someone broke up with me and said like "i guess I was just shrekking" it would be probably 1 hour maximum until I kms.

The politics on "Abusing Steroids" TikTok are honestly fascinating

why? i straight up do not give a fuck about her at all.

I miss the "Associated Acts" section that Wikipedia used to have in the descriptions for bands. Let me know when bands know each other!!!!

"4chan account"

100g of protein. 32g of fiber. Are you a Bad Enough Dude to Eat a Bowl of Dog Human Dog Food?

it's crazy how hard sleeping in mogs going to bed early

At least they used to get bread and circuses. All we get is being on phone and literally not even any bread.

If you've ever thought to yourself "I'm sick of cooking. I wish there was human dog food I could eat..." Then I cannot suggest Textured Vegetable Protein to you enough. Boil water in microwave, pour it on, and you're good to go in 5 minutes. Add some frozen veggies and you have pure Nutrition Slop.

They have no idea what they've done... They've created a million new Jimmy Kimmels.

My name is Phil N. LeBlanc

Property is Roberty

maybe the reason why the left isn't going to debate politics at evangelical churches is because you cannot debate people whose worldview in concretely based on a doctrine that they don't personally have control over?? You can't argue ideas with people who can't choose their own ideas??

Lots of people (See: Liberals) seem to think that the entire point of a protest is to "be at the protest."

Lunch should cost $6.50

cankle culture

Actually, I think it's cool that we can just expect everything to fucking suck shit all the time now, and that it'll just keep getting worse. I think it's the sign of a great leader that everything is fucking horrible. How do I submit approval ratings? Thumbs up from me!!

"The Long Walk" is good, and I'm not just saying that because most days of my life already involve an hour and a half of walking and looking at my watch.

"The political implications of being annoying" is going to be a very important reckoning for the contemporary left in the coming years, I think. We cannot underestimate the average American voter's willingness to side with literal fascism purely because they feel like they're being bothered.

Intermittent fasting is so funny. "yeah, I have an 8-hour eating window between 10am-6pm." Oh, wow. So you only eat between the hours of "Breakfast through dinner"?? How do you survive?

Hey, my friend thinks you're cute but he's really shy... The friend:

They should do a Reverse Purge where one day a year, every crime in punishable with the death penalty. So we just get one day in July or something where everyone is on their best behavior.

Time under tension blown the fuck out. Rep duration found to make no difference for hypertrophy. We Are Throwing The Weight Around For Many Hours And Months And Years. Lifting weights just got More Funner than it has Ever Been.

After trying on and off for years, being miserable every time, failing and giving up, it finally happened. I think I had the breakthrough run where I finally "get jogging" now. I thought people were pranking me the whole time, but it can actually be fun??