this how I play with legos

i have to go to the bank tomorrow. im nervous, i dont ever go to the bank anymore. what if theyre suspicious that im putting too much money in the bank at once?

me when i am following my own path, and not the Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path to end dukkha and achieve nirvana:

This is how the Buffalo Bills WIN.

New Year's Resolutions • buy a telecaster • lose 50lbs by the end of June and/or die trying • don't buy a single bag of chips in 2026 • become the strongest i have ever been in my entire life

I am therefore, I think.

2025 Steps Wrapped. Just gotta do 8 more miles by New Year's to get all of Route 66...

Going through a 90 year old's wikipedia page like Early life Career Personal life Filmography Genuinely insane racism See also

Luckily he wasn't seriously injured. His injuries were actually a complete joke.

oh no

I know it's cliche to say, but, honestly, I *do* ❤ NY

her: im coming over. you better not be sippin' tea in your suit wearing a bowler hat when i get there my fat country western ass:

jesse plemons was cookin here

Scott Hall was cooking up an absolute 3-star Michelin meal when he said "Hard work pays off, dreams come true, bad times don't last, but bad guys do."

wait, THAT's what a "helter skelter" is??? from damn rollercoaster tycoon?????????

Skyler... All the things that I did, you need to understand... I did it for me. I liked it. I was bad at it.

Call me Taking Back Sunday the way I'm trying to weigh "One-Eighty By Summer."

"Marty Supreme" was the most nightmarish film I have ever seen. But as in, like, we are watching someone's literal stress dream.

It's working.... I feel... I'm feeling.... Like absolute dogshit...

recording da movie on my phone so I can watch it again later!!!

Every headline I see about data centers makes me feel like living within a 5 mile radius of these things is going to create a crop of people so incensed by how its interrupting their lives that they'll make Ted Kaczynski look like Wile E. Coyote.

behind every grape man is a woman raisin him

This one time, I drank so much peanut butter whiskey and got so hungover that I stopped drinking for at least 6 months. And basically, between now and the New Year's, I'm trying to recreate that situation with all of the junk food and wine I got for Christmas

"If you aren't an anarchist when you're young, you have no heart, and if you aren't a communist when you're old, you have no brain" Or whatever that quote is.

There's no feeling better than finally getting home from vacation and being able to poop in your own bed again.

This is the kind of article I would write if I worked for the newspaper.

Mr. Beast is in the weirdest monkey's paw situation: You become one of the most famous people on the planet, but your stage name is your online screenname from 2008.

I think this is the only good picture I've ever taken.

My new years resolution is to subsist on a diet made entirely of gruels and soy proteins.

I think it's awesome that Timothee Chalamet is a phenomenal actor, picks interesting projects, does amazing in them, but then still manages to be off-puttingly annoying about it lmao

Me, trying to be kind and non-confrontational, hearing my mom's friend at Christmas dinner telling my mother "You really shouldn't drink diet soda. It's full of chemicals."

This is true when compared to, say, Marvel. But you have to factor in that probably 50% of the cultural impact of the MCU is people saying "Wow this shit fucking sucks ass"

Trying to think of an excuse to leave the room for 10-15 minutes so that I don't have to tell my dad "If I have to listen to you eat Chex Mix for 5 more seconds, I'm gonna blow my brains out."

I have to imagine that helping to advertise the campaign you are working on would be a decent use of time for a campaign manager?

If you've ever seen even 3 questions from an IQ test, you would find it absolutely ridiculous for anyone to place any personal value on the results. Oh, cool, you knew which square was the odd one out? You must be a fucking genius. Does the circle go in the circle hole, too?

Keys, phone, wallet... And diesel jeans.

it feels like it would be mad tedious to know benson boone in real life. like, shut up, man.

Every time I've ever gone to the DMV it has literally taken me like 15 minutes. I just set up an appointment, let them know I'm there, and then they call me up within 5 minutes and help me very quickly???

lol, lmao even

Holy SHIT. Is anyone able to confirm this????? Is he okay?

I order food for delivery once a year, the day after Christmas. I open up GrubHub or DoorDash, type in "vegan," turn my brain off, pretend money isn't real, and explore all that Albany, New York has to offer (surprisingly a lot)

Nightmare Scenario

Cover my mouth? And get boogers all up in my elbow? Fat chance, hot shot...

oh, so i guess "murder" is "pretty awesome" now?? 🤔

Well I guess that means today is just another stupid old normal day, huh? So we don't get any presents today? Like no presents at all?

You can't even say "I'm thinking about shaving off my hair" in the group chat anymore without your friend being like "My wife would like to consult with you before you do anything rash."

LET'S GOOOOOOO

My "follows me on Twitter" cousin necessitated me saying the phrase "Yeah, I moved over to Bluesky" at Christmas dinner Fuck my chungus life....