crawling inside myself to be held by my outer shell

My sleep debt is now accruing interest

I like to watch horror flicks with my cats so they know how safe and lucky they are to live with me

what if people could just be normal online

My eyes are open but trust me, I'm in a coma

Social media has taught me, that if you have nothing important to say, you should say it on social media.

I wanna go see monster trucks and then I wanna lay on the track while they all run me over.

I’m not clingy. I’m just a weighted blanket of abandonment issues.

Sheets should have thumb holes to keep bed partners from stealing them overnight

reverse cowgirl, bc ass backwards is the only way i know

Next year I’m just gonna fake a vacation and lock my doors for the holidays.

Welcoming friends inside the house asking them what are we celebrating today? Just like Olive garden.

A laxative, but for your memories.

Those are my emotional support very bad habits

Sigh…if it’s not one thing it’s 17 others

Choking on coffee is such a betrayal.

time to recenter and refocus

Brb, gonna make my keyboard go clicky clack while I maintain the illusion of doing important work

I was really hoping existence would be over by now.

I’m a slut for words written for me

them: pick your poison me: a big butt and a smile

I really wish my breathing didn’t switch to manual mode when I put earbuds in

Self loathing as an art form.

he makes me melt like a green m&m in his mouth

It’s very rude to interrupt me when I’m procrastinating.

Less in it to win it, more just… in it

why do i keep fighting the ghosts of the past im no ghostbuster

You’ll survive, but you’ll be funnier in a way that worries people

Stranger Things but it’s set in Letterkenny

I don’t slide into DMs, I trip and fall before I even get there

Architect: What experience do you have for this position? Me: One time I designed a house for my pet eraser.  Architect:  Me: It even had a fireplace. Architect:

The feminine urge to be tied to a railroad track

emotional support taquitos

At my age, my hobbies now include: finding a comfortable position, and regretting what I ate.

Anyone else watch the news just to learn what new words to mute on here?

one’s company two’s a crowd

Stranger Things revival with an all-cat cast

Like crows pecking through your garbage cans, these are the days of our lives

what if we tried good instead of bad

Looks like my resolution to stop being batshit crazy was a non-starter.

A sleep schedule? Never heard of her.

Are people still selling imaginary things and calling them NFTS?

Enjoy waking up scared shitless? Ask your doctor if this administration is right for you!

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway” - Edgar Allan Poe Me:

I could be wrecking your life right now, but I have errands.

they should make cement blocks with better arch support