Moon time, baby

im a slut for a good dipping sauce

sucks that we have the power to edit genes and we are gonna use them to make rich people slightly taller instead of creating a man with the shell of an armadillo

Calling in cold

OMG how is it only this time of day and not a later time of day?! 😭

grinds up holiday cheer so i can smoke it

No wonder I was actin out

I can't make it, it's too cold outside

Girl dinner w/ @kittykorner.bsky.social

I'm gonna go talk to the moon and the stars

Whoomp! There it went. I’m not going after it. I’m too lazy.

It’s giving bug

*brandishes a good time*

With this holiday spirit, I shall become an under the influencer.

i’m half gay on my mother’s side, does that count?

Burned my tongue on ravioli so, there were cries for help.

Is eating canned ravioli a cry for help?

Hey, this is my screaming tree

Maybe I actually don’t need a relationship.

Sorry I can’t come in tonight, new Luigi picture just dropped 🥵

Demanding a raise (if that’s ok)

Just bc I vomit doesn’t mean im not having a good time

Using steak chunks as a pacifier

Please save me from this timeline.

it’s all about looking good on the outside, while silently dying on the inside baby

oh hey moon looking good

Stick ur finger through the donut hole to tickle my fancy

Let me introduce you to my blankets, they’re my village.

does this smell infected

my hearts all a flutter bruh

my crawlspace is your crawlspace

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Judging men based on how their comfy clothes fit me

Getting drunk then remembering why you don’t get drunk around people

they should make a type of sex for people who don’t like to be touched

TW: imma be turnt the fuck up

Shit talking is my foreplay you piece of shit

Today’s plan:

I must have like accidentally broken a cursed object or something idk

What if I just keep skeeting. What happens then?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

What if a met a hot republican…

Suck, fuck, and tuck…me in.

Only parental love is unconditional. Everything else requires work and sacrifice.

put that in your pipe and oh-you’re already smoking it. didn’t even ask what it was. u wild

me to me: what if it breaks your heart? also me: but what if it all works out?

I would be so disoriented if things started to make sense.

I love watching your personalities unfold in the morning

Friends should wash each others hair for Christmas