Hey boat dudes listen up: part of my summer bucket list is to get fucked naked on a boat. After that you don’t ever have to interact with me again. You will have served your purpose and I’ll serve you mine.

When I’m gone I’m falling through a black hole then I land on a dick and start over

Been away for a while #promosky #selfie #altgirl #freakyfriday

Someone who gets me

Trying to make my alt happen #promosky

Good Monday all 🌞❤️

All I want is for him to crawl to me on his knees and beg my forgiveness. I’m a reasonable person.

Wish I could “dual-screen” my actual sight. I wanna read and color simultaneously.

We’d be good together if he wasn’t such an unwavering prick

Just a little more sleep then I’ll change my life

Had to make a floor bed and my dogs have already encroached on my leg space

In our healing era ❤️‍🩹✨ Tooty bears lack of toe is almost entirely healed!

I am stuck. On my floor. I have succumb to my fate of being here for multiple hours.

Yes of course you can buy me Chinese ❤️

How do I not have a valentine?! Oh bc I’m crazy, I remember now 🤪❤️ #bemine

Twerking to the bad bunny halftime show everyday until all the snowflakes melt

RIP to all the hot country guys who were poisoned by trump. Can’t even flirt with yall 😭

If my stocks growls we are past the point of no return

I thought after Regina George got hit by that bus she was supposed to be nicer not become the current attorney general.

Wait, who won the Super Bowl?

Bonding with the herd at the Secretary of State.

Suddenly wildly attracted to dad types in their 40s but there’s a communication barrier I’m struggling with that I can’t quite place.

Ope he fell asleep

Just said “idgaf” to a 41 yr old man via text. What are the odds he’s googling it.

Waiting until the verge of losing consciousness before i make food bc i have zero survival instincts apparently

Ok, I’m getting up to clean the house…now!

Ever since I left my ex, my daughter breaks into random song and dance that goes “GIRLS HOUSE OOHOOOH GIIIIIRLS HOOOOUSE” so yeah, we’re gonna be fine.

Not “woke” just awake with eyes and a brain

Not my proudest moment but I am proud of it

He’s mentioned in the files more than Harry Potter in Harry Potter.

I was led to believe there would be no truth bombs on this app

Men would have me do everything in the world and still want me to make time to suck their dick

Girls house means no glitter spill is an issue ✨

*crying* need... coffee

If you have to ask you don’t know

Trying to be honest and hardworking fucking sucks.

Sometimes it hurts to miss who you were. Then I remember how at peace I am without you near.

Pain so deep I’d rather fuck it than feel It

90% sure I just smoked an ant

Not sure if dating is for me bc I eat at supper time and I’m snuggled up by 8:45 pm

I don’t miss you, I miss who I thought you were.

The hottest thing a man can do is answer the phone and know the answer to my home repair problems 🥵

My 5 year old is reasonably pissed that the birds don’t sell eggs in Tears of the Kingdom

*cue Sarah Mac McLachlan*

Making loomies and watching @gypsican.bsky.social ‘s daughter play cult of the lamb

Trying to explain the difference between warm snow and cold snow to my daughter for snowman construction. A strictly northern conversation.

Tootie the last airbender @gypsican.bsky.social

These queens and I are tired

Staying up to leave you on read

Shit, Mother Nature got her few inches in, now imma need mine.