Staying up to leave you on read

Shit, Mother Nature got her few inches in, now imma need mine.

If you're gonna objectify me, at least make me a bong.

save me sleepy time tea save me

Wondering when my dogs toe will be a distant memory instead of taking up 45% of my daily mental capacity

Who's out here being beautiful and high other than just me

I’m so good at swallowing pills I can’t even remember if I took them yet or not.

My ex literally just used my phone he stole from me to send himself $20 from my Venmo. Stealing food from his child’s mouth essentially. But I’m CrAzY

The night bares its teeth.

Holy shit the community really coming together to perform an inter web death ritual of sorts. Bravo guys 👏

wandering the halls of my mind picking up loose change

it's okay to let the ghosts love you... it's okay to love them back

POV: it’s 1:30 am and you’re laying on the floor next to the couch to monitor your dog after her toe amputation

Hey thanks for twisting the knife. I had almost forgotten you stabbed me.

Been making homemade coffee and avocado toast since 2020 - excited to see the gains this year 💪

It’s tootys toe. Say goodbye to your little piggy tooty.

There’s too many toes in this house. One of these toes has got to go.

If I have to hear the song “die with a smile” again I’m going to cut my ears off and boil them. Not to be dramatic or anything.

Lash extensions look silly 95% of the time sorry not sorry

rfk jr’s health plan:

Rawdogging tinctures

Not entirely convinced this isn’t a fever dream

You’re a harsh dose of reality in the best way

The feeling of waking up free from him has been worth every moment I spent fighting for this.

Following my gut blindly is leading me down paths I would’ve never taken

My anxiety meds are carrying the team today

I don't need you to agree with me, I just need your unbridled adoration.

If things keep up at this pace, I’m gonna need better drugs.

First date idea: slash our palms, clasp bloody hands and make a regicide pact.

Fuck it. Brain wash me, I’m ready to be free.

I miss Gwen Pepperoni

dishes are the laundry of the kitchen

I want to be raised by crows

Idk a brainwash sounds lowkey incredible

Run The Jewels needs a new album

Life’s a roller coaster baby and im just screaming at the operator to please stop

im talking with my socially acceptable imaginary friend (god)

Turn your read receipts on you coward

Fixing the holes he left in my walls is also mending the hurt in my heart.

I can’t swallow my pride I’m on a diet

Singing to my dogs is a sign that I’m healing

Dumbing myself down to be happy in these trying times

Sigh…if it’s not one thing it’s 17 others

does drinking rum before noon make you a pirate

If spaghetti for breakfast is a crime then lock me up

How dare my doctor recommend therapy instead of more drugs!

Side quest: a man in a small town pool bar approaches you when you’re alone. Introduces himself as “Italiano” and says he and his friends are nomads and answer to no president. He then says if you ever need help out of a bad situation call them and they’ll handle it. (This happened to me)

Well... time to go outside. *takes off sweatpants, puts on good sweatpants*

I’m not “ruin your life” crazy, I’m “alien conspiracies and unorthodox lifestyle” crazy

My toxic is trait is being attracted to country men as a liberal woman