Sarah
@goonsquadsarah.bsky.social
📤 2281
📥 1432
📝 1538
Your mom. Compulsive heating engineer. Hypnotoad enthusiast. She/her
All I really want is the cloak and hat Bruce Dickinson wears when Iron Maiden performs “Fear of the Dark” live. Is that too much to ask? And you know, health and world peace or whatever.
18 minutes ago
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chris.
2 days ago
"PUT IT DOWN." (me, to absolutely everyone, at the ska show)
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Going to be late to stupid work because I have to put on my stupid shoes
2 days ago
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Niko Stratis
2 days ago
i like that Paul Simon gets big cocky with his theory that there's 50 ways to leave your lover, and then when pressed for answers he's only got like six and one of them is just "get on the bus"
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Looooook
4 days ago
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Me: doing a little rain dance
4 days ago
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Hell is preparing accordingly.
4 days ago
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I love Goodreads, but what if I died reading something really embarrassing and it just stayed on my profile for eternity?
6 days ago
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It is very hot in my office this morning. I think we should shut the building down and all go home.
6 days ago
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My son’s gf texted me to see when I was coming to visit so I could hold her hand while she got her septum pierced, so I pretty much win at everything.
6 days ago
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I know it is summer. But 104 degrees seems a bit much, Earth.
7 days ago
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Charmed by sausage stickers
7 days ago
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Why do the plots of so many mobile games revolve around pregnant mothers who will freeze to death unless they merge matching things?
8 days ago
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This is the face of a gentleman who does not want to take his medicine.
9 days ago
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Convinced my book club to read “Paradise Rot”. This should go well.
9 days ago
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Came here after work and legit do not understand why my feed is full of Top of the Pops posts. (I’m just using context clues here.
#totp
could mean something entirely different)
13 days ago
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This cat just hissed at her own tail and then got mad at me when I laughed.
14 days ago
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Conversation I just heard outside my office. 1st Lady: Do you teach today? 2nd Lady: No. It’s Thursday, right? 1st Lady: Yes. Guys. It is 8:10 on a Monday morning.
17 days ago
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Conversation I just heard outside my office. 1st Lady: Do you teach today? 2nd Lady: No. It’s Thursday, right? 1st Lady: Yes. Guys. It is 8:10 on a Monday morning.
17 days ago
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weeder
18 days ago
I'm not even excited about America's 250th birthday anymore
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Headline: Trump to headline Great American State Fair after music acts cancel *me picturing DJT with an acoustic guitar and one of those harmonica holders around his neck singing that song where one guy puts his boot in some other guy’s ass*
19 days ago
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Kyle Griffin
20 days ago
Reuters: US JUDGE ORDERS TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO REMOVE PRESIDENT TRUMP'S NAME FROM KENNEDY CENTER BUILDING - ORDER
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It is in the Washington Post, but it sure looks like Robert Heinlein wrote this.
20 days ago
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The Fiesta Trio is the latest ensemble to announce they will not be performing at America 250.
add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
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Why would counting holes in a skirt make a person a narcissist and what the fuck is wrong with facebook’s algorithm?
23 days ago
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[Sic] Burns
24 days ago
Thanks to aging and gravity’s cruelty the groove is now in the colon
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Viktor Winetrout
24 days ago
fred flintstone: yabba dabba doo! neurologist [to wilma]: as i was saying, we need to run more tests
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Jake_Vig
27 days ago
THERAPIST: About how often would you say you fall apart? BRIGHT EYES: Every now and then. THERAPIST: Have you thought about turning around?
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Jenn đź©·
28 days ago
Tempting fate. Good morning! đź©·
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debbshock
29 days ago
anybody have any pink ones
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Fun
29 days ago
establishing dominance by saying “i knew you’d say that” after everything the psychic tells me
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Why does Starbucks hate napkins?
29 days ago
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Yes, it is super fucking hot, but my car is being a bit hyperbolic.
30 days ago
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lauren
about 1 month ago
this has got to be the worst time in american history to make the totally sensible and correct argument that we should pay people in congress more than we do
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alexis simpson
about 1 month ago
me: JUNCLE, the uncle made out of junk mark cuban: [pressing the silent alarm button]
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Christina, mother of spiders
about 1 month ago
Me: We are closer in time to the T-Rex than the T-Rex was to the Stegosaurus. Customs agent: *sighs*I just want to know if you have any purchases to declare.
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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪đť”âś§
about 1 month ago
how dare it be morning
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The Goon Squad turns 22 today, for those of you who have been around for most of it. And the boy just graduated from Berklee. It seems like they were just babies. Time is crazy.
about 1 month ago
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉
about 1 month ago
You don’t have to sweat to the oldies. You can listen to them in a walk in freezer while you wait to die.
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I admit it. I am thrilled that the new season of 90 Day Fiancée is all new couples.
about 1 month ago
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Charlie Alzamora
about 1 month ago
For once I'd like to win my shit.
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God
about 1 month ago
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What is your favorite U2 song? (I have research reasons)
about 1 month ago
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Nothing gives me Covid flashbacks as much as coming downstairs to see my husband in the kitchen wearing a collared button down shirt with red basketball shorts.
about 1 month ago
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molly conger
about 1 month ago
there's no marcomentum, stop trying to make marcomentum happen.
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Ouch, bro.
about 1 month ago
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Adam Macqueen
about 2 months ago
SHAFT
add a skeleton here at some point
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orbette
about 2 months ago
Tesco, emailing me this terrifying motherfucker to me on a Sunday morning is an act of war, what the fuck, no I will not meet Plumbert I will destroy Plumbert
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Scored $ .60 off a gallon of gas at Safeway and it is still $ 4.399 a gallon Ouch
about 2 months ago
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