why have paracetamol anyway when you can just have squirty cream

🎵 ITS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE BEAR 🎵

ooh are we still getting the rapture? cheeky Rappy T?

i want something sweet but i have a tangled up cat sleeping on my foot so i cant move and will perish

Someone's saying it, at least. Increasingly looking like the only game in town if you don't want some flavour of Reform.

The world is bad but Guillermo del Toro hugging Godzilla like an excited child is good

The League of Gentlemen's WEAPONS

A quick street view reveals the flooding in Penketh isn’t because “the drains don’t work”. It’s because residents paved over their front gardens to park cars. Those gardens used to soak up about 70% of rainfall. They removed the sponge. Now the water’s on their doorstep.

nothing like the glorious bright autumn sun to remind you that you need to clean your windows

Important: there is a pub in Holborn where a cat wears a ruff. His name is The General

One team has a regular threat, the other smashes one in from 25 odd yards. Which one has ten men? If the first half was what we've expected from Villa this season, the second half (so far) has plunged to new depths. Terrible. Sunderland fully deserving. #AVFC

We absolutely fucking suck, jesus christ, absolutely terrible. Awful.

THANK CHRIST

Football stress inbound but at least there's this happening too

Respectfully, if Charlie Kirk taught us anything, it is that this is not true.

Mclolren

Oh my god #F1

What do you meaaaan their goalkeeper was sent off after four minutes what do you meaaaaaaan

This track is a absolute banter #F1

Just think for a minute. A man lost his job for being friend with Epstein. The same week, Epstein's BFF gets a state banquet. I can't get over it

I would pay to watch it one hundred and fifty eight thousand times

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles

The Pina Colada song is a great story of two terrible people realizing they are soulmates

those violent lefts are at it again

The Royal Society are really shitting through their fingers and waiting for permission to flush with this.

oh its those dancers i love those guys #F1Show

Wow we should base our entire economy on this technology

One of the most profound mistakes of the last 30 or so years was conceding the principle that one of the main purposes of education (at all levels, but especially university) was preparation for employment.

aye same i'm on there mainly to get my name secured as I have a brand to upkeep

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Going to a smashing local Indian restaurant for Christmas Dinner this year lads

🚨NEW: Stephen Colbert's opening tonight will forever be remembered as one of the most powerful moments of late-night comedy in modern history. This is a must-watch. Damn. 🔥

Nothing is more embarrassing than America

HELL of a week to have an all staff meeting lmao

The Conservatives started this experiment. But Labour are fully on board too. No 10 refuse to comment or take action - but we're all paying the price for corporate greed. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Feels like this becomes more plausible by the day

Oh fuck yeah imma try and get tickets for Thundercat on Friday

Alien Earth is such a vibe

And here's my assistant, Little Parker Booowles!

Quote Post a movie you like with a terrible Rotten Tomatoes score. This. Is. Cinema.

Is it better than the NASA cocaine

"They're politicians, what are they supposed to do? Literally fight in the streets?" Unashamed to say this made me cry.

A GOAL. THANK BABY JESUS THERE'S A FUCKING GOAL.

every headline today: "Man Who Could Absolutely Get It Dies at 89"

Love