"Oh Genie, please can you make it so that people begin to see the awarding of the last two world cups to Russia and then Qatar as a good thing?" "Yes Mr FIFA. Of course Mr FIFA." *Monkey paw's finger curls*

Ok, with back to back wins while scoring 4 times, I'm feeling just the smallest bit of the fever this week, and looks like the fridge can now catch up

George Lucas on the set of Return of the Jedi

From a 'readers send their questions in for Mark Williams' thing, simply magnificent

Hey Danish roadsign I ran past this morning, I've three questions for you, 1) where can I eat? 2) where can I sleep? 3) what's all that noise coming out of Badenoch about looming civil war?

Semi regular reminder to everyone that, come the apocalypse, the semi competent homebrewer (while still a boring weird nerd) is an infinitely more useful asset to your survival bunker. My CV will point out I also grow the hops Billionaires, please bookmark this

Sucks to be you lot. I've spent the last two days on an East Lothian beach and quite frankly this weather is all that's right with the world. (Thoughts & prayers with London mutuals, though you are also cordially invited to this far better place too)

"Have labour sorted out their leadership angst yet?"

"I say, I say, boy, I can't be at your weddin' due to circumstances purtaining to government "

It absolutely baffles me that Musk has not yet been "emperor's new clothes"ed

Artificial complete fabrication, at least AI lies and bullshits just like humans do! From the great Colin Leggo who doesn't seem to be on Bluesky 🙁

Bit of a mouthful. If this isn't colloquially known as the pie-pass already then we need to start bombing Melton Mowbry www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Did the Keswick mountain festival 25k earlier. Bloody heard work but an absolutely lovely run. Gorgeous route but very technical and challenging. I'm clearly not actually a good enough runner for this sort of stuff. Absolute bastards- it was 25.77km according to my watch and that .77k was brutal

Ironically the OED recently launched their "pictorial dictionary" using the name "Barry Martin" and his photo as part of their definition of "stereotype pub bore"

What's the opposite of 'racing' pigeon?

They don't make popes like they used to. On reflection that's probably a good thing

"I still have options to return to Westminster" he said. "Muwhahahahaha" he added.

Tinkered with this for far too long last night adding tickers and stuff. I think it’s finished now. Will only update as more Reform councillors leave. refukked.lovable.app

Any crypto billionaires reading this that want to bung me a "no strings attached" £5m feel free to slide into my DMs. I promise to not stand for parliament afterwards so your name isn't dragged through the papers (as clearly with no strings attached you wouldn't want me doing that).

Pull your flipping finger out Hearts, Motherwell are trying to do you a solid here

Stephen Collins is an absolute gem. On top of everything else, his strips just have such excellent pacing

See I'm being advertised what I can only assume is a government sponsored scheme to reduce pension payments. Particularly love the wood effect one made of a slippy looking material for where you really want to hurry along dear old ma's accident for the inheritance to pay off urgent gambling debts.

Was just listening to New Scientist's "The world, the Universe and Us" about the uptick in sea level rise since 2012 (20cm in 15 years) and it's really not helped my currently pretty frazzled state of mind

I can be both petty and small minded on occasion and I think I might be in love.

If Gallup published this on the 1st April they'd still be told off for it being transparently stupid news.gallup.com/opinion/meth...

Too shy to join, but still curious.

I genuinely don't understand how Labour think Burnham is a good idea "You put over 400 of us into parliament in 2024 and not one of us is equipped to lead" is a hell of a statement to hand over to all your rivals and detractors.

🎶 "If Wes is the answer What was the question? And can it cure My indigestion, baby? Out of the frying pan Into the frying pan. Back to the drawing board And I'll draw you a diagram We'll put on the kettle For some tea and some sympathy Infamy, infamy They've all got it in for me." 🎶

After a rapid decline over the last 10 days we had Jumble back at the vet today and it seems she's fading fast now. We've got her back home so the kids can see her and say their goodbyes but she's unlikely to see out the week 💔

Been feeling a bit sorry for myself over all the Poland travel and feeling a bit tired, blue & sick of it. Then life comes and kicks you hard with a healthy dose of perspective. One of the dads from our NCT classes has died leaving his wife and 12yo twins. Give your loved ones a wee hug guys xxx

Really fascinating and detailed maps on how the population of different bits of Europe has changed over the past 60 years: rural depopulation and the move from east to west being the big stories. correctiv.org/en/europe/20...

Apropos to nothing: back in the '80s (and after my grandpa died) my granny used to get a lift to the shops the town over off a fella who was legally blind (it turned out). Different times, eh?

Boy #2Had to do up a tin to be a mascot for scouts last night. He's been looking at the election results and listening to Starmer and Badenoch declare how fine it all is for their parties.

Is this his way of telling us who he thinks is going to succeed him? Quick, to the betting markets!

ANALYSIS: Wind and solar have saved UK from gas imports worth £1.7bn since Iran war began 😎 Record-high wind+solar output 🔥 Record-low gas generation ❄️ First ever winter with wind+solar out-performing fossil fuels 🏆 Wind+solar beating gas for 15 straight months 1/5

He played for Tranmere against Leicester in the League Cup Final in 2000, and again in a second round League Cup match at the King Power stadium in August 2024 (four of Leicester’s starting line-up that day hadn’t been born at the time of the 2000 Final).

Boring 1-0 this. Wait until whichever loser stumbles through to get blitzed by the arse, eh?

Boy 2 dropped at scouts so I get to pop over the river for a pint and the first half of Bayern PSG while I wait for him. Had a pause to watch a little egret doing some fishing. It's not bad living around here you know

What fantastic times in which we live. The American political system, having solved every single problem in front of them, can now focus on the most important issue left- creating health crises for future governments to have something to do.

This is beyond the pale.

“But enough about what we’re up to off of Venezuela, let’s talk about what we’re up to off of Iran…”

Happy Cartoonist's Day!! With thanks to @extrafabulous.bsky.social for this comic.

I see the local greens have decided, (in the centre of yorkshire) to go with a candidate endorsement from "Roo and Chas". It's a bold strategy for sure

I'm crestfallen to note that the Bluesky patriarchy is diminishing women in the public sphere through crass objectification when they just want to point out to ungrateful proles trying to catch the bus in rural Lincolnshire that they're all so near enough Newcastle they can catch the metro instead.

May 4 100🎯 97🔥 100🎯 99🎯 100🎯 Final score: 994 That's it. I can retire happy. don't think I'm ever beating that. Helped by having been to 3&4 and looking at 5 on a map yesterday with my star wars mad kid

There's a certain genre of thriller where the protagonist is like "I hadn't showered or changed my clothes since before the beginning of the story. I was sweating like a hog, out of shape and breathless from running. The last time I slept was a week ago, there was egg in my beard, lager on my...

Good day today, outside for all of it, 23km run this morning then cutting the hedges on the road this afternoon. Am satisfied and pooped. Goose mum is still there too, though still no sign of her chicks hatching

I'm very confused. There's a bunch of people I follow who generally seem functional as humans and write persuasive things well using solid reasoning (even if I don't always agree with it) that are aggressively agreeing that while badenoch is a dolt (on board so far) Lincolnshire is in the north east

Hooray, our World Cup 2026 Wall Chart is FINISHED 🥳 It's our biggest wall chart ever, an A1-sized shambles sullied by SIXTY wonky doodles. Dunno if competitions fly on Bluesky, but if you share this we'll send a couple of freebies out to some (un)lucky RTers x 🛒 noscoredraws.com/products/wor...

Mrs G has appeared home with a bottle of orange wine telling me "it's all the rage" if you are wanting to calibrate how many years behind the curve middle class semi-rural Yorkshire folk are behind their London equivalents.