I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for Labour that voters refuse to recognise the difference between the government's progressive, well-intentioned racism and the destructive, toxic racism of Reform and the far-right.

I for one am quite pleased the Scotland team are having no truck with any sort of false home narrative tonight. "You know we're shite, aye?"

Just made this. I’m a widely respected intellectual, you know

No, YOU'RE childish, I'm a Wildean wit let down by my leftover bits of pastry cock.

In many ways I think the uncropped shot is even more arresting

Port Vale Football Club

Today "in social media isn't toxic it's just a tool and actually it's rather lovely if you just follow the right people". If you haven't got/ read John's book(s) then do, and while you're at it his newsletter is far better when you get it than when you don't

This isn't where that rug usually lies is it? "Our guests have gone downstairs to bed, Gladys. Quick, turn off all the lights and move the wanking rug over"

Heard this policy in soft launch on the radio just now. Performative and ill-considered cruelty to pander to ignorance rather than making the case and argument for what is right, seemingly because this govt is too scared and too lazy to have principles

Popped over the river to grab some stuff to make a pie for tea during the lad's karate. It's been a wet 36 hrs eh? Just as well the rains only light now

It's been about 3 weeks since our old lady last climbed the stairs for her customary morning nap on our bed. Increasingly in that time she's just sat in one spot on the sofa, only stirring to get fe, so pleased to see her up and about, looking out the window and coming for a cuddle

your dead AI mother loves you so much ❤️

(Yes, yes, she's a monster) That the headline of the piece is that the ultimate sign of her indulged debauchery is that she has sufficient means to go to the toilet with dignity whenever she needs suggests to me the vindictiveness of the American penal system & media landscape is beyond fucked up

Not going to name names/ relationship to me in this but someone v important to me has had her other half of 2 decades, father of her kids, act the absolute dick and beyond to her and I'm furious

The scale of this:

At the

Very little makes me feel more British boomer than my bafflement at the ubiquity of Oreos and their success. They're an objectively bad biscuit. The biscuits bit is weird and gritty and unpleasant and the filling is shite

"Honest love, wanna see it? It's, like, this big."

"Hi Stew, just getting back to you. I came in from Trucking and I did the virgin things and I'm just suddenly realised haven't found you."

Helping my son with an art project which is to do "a portrait of his hero". Can't believe he's got us doing it on Major General William Roy. Every bloody 13 year old will be working on a likeness of their favourite 18th century surveyor & cartographer. No originality that child.

Why have videos suddenly started playing their sound automatically as I scroll past them. No bluesky. Bad bluesky. That's Facebook's stupid thing. Don't you start

Let's play Bucks Name or Name Name

"Okay. So you got a buffet car ..."

Guess who shut the door to take a phone call and now has to climb out the window if they want to wee, but doesn't have his key so will have to do it in the garden? 👍👍👍

It's nearly poopy day: lest we forget

This is disgusting and disgraceful. Let me just watch that video again a couple more times to check out how disgusting and disgraceful

You all right, love? You've barely touched your Allnutrition Nut Love

16 years & counting stat fans. For any doubts as to my Scottish heritage, you'd be genuinely surprised how low the cost of renting a wedding space by Aldermaston was if you were willing to book it on Halloween.

Inevitable Telegraph nonsens provides an interesting track of the pace of disinformation through social media. Neither my mother or my in-laws read the paper but I bet they'll all ask me about this in the next 5-10 days (and not before)

🎶 That's great; it started with a monkey crate. Truck turned over, they escaped. All had COVID, I'm afraid. 🎶

"we in the US have a racist system largely because the British people who started our nation were so very racist" It's a bold play to be character of the day, but is it just a fraction too stupid to be plausible?

Mes gibbon and Mrs gibbon friend are at the spa so I am leading the kids in the center poo-ks art club wall to greet them home. This can only go well right?

Great quick gag from Mark. Numerous "France/ the french" replies

Lest we forget...

As metaphors go for what the current US president is doing to his country's democracy, some would argue this is too on the nose. But I want to see the digger painted gold and a wee pipe on the back spraying effluent out before I'll concede we've begun to hit the nail on the head.

Oh almost forgot - popped out to sort an annoying drip in the downpipe last night and I found this fat wee fella in the garden. Proper David Bellamy day yesterday I tell you

Our politicians are so stupid the leaders of the two main parties get their arses handed to them on the same issue by leaving themselves open to proven thugs acting like thugs. This is extra beautiful thanks to the terminally online badenoch jumping in on a comment referencing the online right

I'm not going to defend hanging on to the Parthenon marbles, rosetta stone or Benin Bronzes, but performative USian hating on the British Museum is such a tedious trope. Is this the Louvre with Egypt's Dendera Zodiac, the Moai statue from Easter Island & the Wedding at Cana, stolen from Italy?

Bluesky's resident "Professor of learning analytics" analysed the fuck out of that one and shared his learning so now we can all enjoy the joke. Thanks prof

I chose not to choose life, I chose something else

No wonder Luton sacked him

I love these two panels from @stephencollins.bsky.social on Westminster folk Vs voters

The daring jewel heist at the Louvre was a masterclass in efficient planning, skill and organisation. It's imperative that the culprits are now apprehended and asked to form a government.

Not often you see these posting games won outright like this. Go home everyone, it's over

It's a sunny day, I've not got a lot on so I've thought sod it... Let's brew. It's time to make the Christmas beer, I normally do a dark beer for Christmas and I've got the Maris otter base with plenty chocolate malt and roasted barley to do that again, but is 2 months enough time for aging...?

Was feeling a bit stiff so just took myself out for a couple of km around sun up to loosen off. Worth it! Look at their floofy pompom bums

I like this article, but in good social media style I'm going to ignore the main point and seize on something else @jonathanliew.bsky.social says his favourite time to watch football is autumn, with good reasons presented. I prefer Jan (& into Feb)

Have taken the lad to his karate, and the sister of one of the boys was asked by their mum to film him performing his kata. She's stuck a twerking Shrek on it and is somehow keeping a straight face so the mum hasn't noticed. I'm clearly pissing myself and drawing all the stares

I still have no idea what Number 10 was thinking intervening over policing. If they ‘win’ the standoff, Keir Starmer personally owns any incident that happens around the match. And he’s broken the precedent of interfering in operational matters, and so will be asked to do so relentlessly.

"React if you agree" I'm sitting as still as I can so I don't react but I just did a little fart, does that count? If so how do I retract it?