Which of you put a hidden camera in my house?!

We really are in an age of comedians who have Risen Without Trace, aren't we? I mean really, where have they come from? They've just been put on TV and we've been told to accept it like it's some kind of psy-op.

Initially they just thought she was far away.

A tour through nationalist reactions to the Murrell/Sturgeon case is like an anti-nostalgia tour of 2014 Twitter. Seeing references to 'colonial masters', 'unionist MSM' and 'SNPbad'; all that's missing is some woad.

I've never encountered a single person who says they listen to "Parenting Hell". And I am glad of this fact as it speaks well of my social stratification.

And we just dish out the right to vote willy-nilly.

It closes at 1am, and all the staff are desperate to go home.

30 YEARS AGO TODAY

This by Joe Fattorini gets wonderfully deep into the absurdity of the Peter Murrell fraud case. Which is to say: the mystery of the five decanters. open.substack.com/pub/joefatto...

What with this arsehole wanging on about Russia and the Greens wanging on about Gaza, the voters of Makerfield must wonder if anyone's actually interested in representing them, the actual people who live there.

🎵 Something inside so long 🎶

Running playlist? More like walking into the sea playlist.

Back to Oliver Reed (isn't it always) He made this movie in Iraq in 1980 because Saddam Hussein wanted to make hollywood style movies. Then he proceeded to behave so badly that they wanted to fire him. He called Hussein the a cunt while having dinner with him (granted that's a softer term in UK) 1/

Ok this is a truly great tweet

Had no idea the office was playing host to the 2026 Throat Clearing Championships

"What is the charge? Eating a carrot? A succulent home grown carrot?"

Even when I was bang in the target demographic of nerdy sixth-former, I thought Hitchhiker's was a load of shite.

Wednesday

I remember when people scored drugs at gigs. I've just overheard some people discussing the shingles jab.

smoking isn't like social media because smoking makes you cool but social media makes you a loser

Off to see Mark and Lard #BiggedyBiggedyBONG

If anything, Obama's 2011 roast of Trump was too subtle.

Why's Pele in the World Cup trailer, is he playing?

Since painting my van I'm banned from introducing myself to people

'Hey, welcome to Chloe VS History! I've just arrived at Nuremberg 1938, and hope to give the Führer a little heads-up about Barbarossa. Wish me luck!'

Every day I see a new thing which is The Worst Thing Ever. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Parked next to a Tesla with an 'Anti Elon Tesla Club' sticker in the back. If anything it just makes me think you're an even bigger twat, mate.

this is a masterpiece

Ah, summer festival season, where we're treated to the utterly irrelevant and ill informed views of people who think they're clever. Hay should be renamed the Dunning-Kruger festival.

Just waiting for the announcement of the AI Trump that'll take over when he carks it.

Sir, Are they perchance related?

Lay long in bed talking and pleasing myself with my wife.

Tuesday

I promise you this is real

New Bond game and the Dr Who movie on Blu-ray landing tomorrow, and an empty house all next week.

I want to know what percentage completion he got on GTA.

The list of things Peter Murrell spent the SNP’s money on reads like a modern day Generation Game, “And on the conveyer belt tonight”.

Seen my first 'but what's embezzlement compared to WAR CRYMEZ' in the wild.

Sturgeon signed off the SNP accounts for years & aggressively told other SNP NEC members they should stop asking about the accounts, there was no problem with the accounts, stop asking about the accounts. Just as there was no problem with Bill Walker, Alex Salmond, Derek MacKay or Patrick Grady.

Somebody please put this incident into a film.

'The next fundraiser will be legit though, honest!'

This is the perfect 1970’s football photo Quagmire pitch ✅ Terry Wogan ✅ Unsuitably attired manager/physio ✅ Whispering Bob Harris whispering ✅ Player looking the wrong way ✅ Tony Blackburn much dirtier than everyone else ✅ No actual football ✅

There is a story behind this picture and I want to know all the details

I mean, having seen Nicola Sturgeon's soulless new-build, I can almost believe she never suspected any cash was being misspent.

Remember, if one of your fellow bank robbers gets caught, immediately start referring to him as your estranged fellow bank robber. The law can't touch you, then.

In March 2021, Nicola Sturgeon warned SNP officials to be “very careful” about suggesting there was “any problems” with the party's accounts.

Should have hidden a file in the camper van.