If you enjoy swallowing bovine faeces, you're spoiled for choice right now. Choose sanity. Vote Binface.

Lord Hatface, I salute you.

The State (Visit) Of It: read my exclusive take on Trump, Charles, and what it says about how f*cked everyone is. (Apart from me. I'm just visiting.) open.substack.com/pub/countbin...

Is Trump on Ozempic? If so, it's done wonders for his ankles. Fair play.

There’s no #PMQs this week (Keir’s running out of ministers to wrongly defend), but fear not because #AskBinface is here to fill the gap! Send me your posers and policies, and I’ll answer them in the next edition of my podcast Trash Talk, which is a 50th episode special!

Eat this, Elon: 2024 London Mayoral Election Count Binface: 24,260 Britain First: 20,519

I'm starting to think the Daleks had a point.

Talking cock with Richard Herring @herring1967.bsky.social It’s a universal topic, and in this instance a hard one too.

I for one am eager to discover what his dad did for a living.

So Keir Starmer’s government is now ruled by the Quint? Well then. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates. There are too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing. Ko-fi.com/countbinface

BRAND NEW TRASH TALK! In the latest episode of my (future-) award-winning podcast, I speak to comedian Richard Herring about all sorts, including this little insight into both of us. Get the whole show here! pod.fo/e/3291ee

If Peter Mandelson is too awful to be an ambassador, why should he still be a lord? Or is the bar lower? #BinMandy

Mandelson sacked. Yum yum.

A brilliant story about Peter Mandelson, told to me by Mark Gatiss on my podcast Trash Talk...

Give him till Sunday.

It’s that time of the week: #AskBinface! Send me your questions and policy ideas, on any subject, and unlike #PMQs I’ll actually answer them, on this week’s edition of my podcast Trash Talk, featuring special guest Richard Herring. Bring it on!

Throwback to when I raised the deposit to run for London Mayor and beat Britain First by covering a soul classic: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrm7...

How to beat Reform? EASY. It just needs a bit of joined-up thinking... AND ME. Read my masterplan here! open.substack.com/pub/countbin...

How to beat Reform? EASY. It just needs a bit of joined-up thinking... AND ME. Read my masterplan here! open.substack.com/pub/countbin...

Andrea Jenkyns must be singing again. #emergencyalert

New Trash Talk podcast out now! Featuring special guest cricket commentator Daniel Norcross @norcrosscricket.bsky.social - Featuring this scandalous revelation about Test Match Special’s most cherished tradition! Get the whole show here: pod.fo/e/324dc4

Choose sanity. Vote Binface.

It’s the day when political posers get put to the powerful. Not #PMQs! It’s the return of #AskBinface! Send me your questions and policy ideas and I’ll answer them in this week’s edition of my podcast Trash Talk. Bring it on!

Suffice to say I hope @countbinface.bsky.social runs in my constituency during the next election, because otherwise I won't be voting.

Light hearted and funny, as I expected. Have a read. It’s free!

My brand new newsletter post is up now! Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Alastair Campbell, and MORE! And the whole thing is free to read for the entire omniverse. Give it a gander at the website that's so much better than X, you can find it at BetterThanX.co.uk. CB x open.substack.com/pub/countbin...

Here's another juicy clip from my Trash Talk interview with Alastair Campbell. Here we discuss where I should be aiming to seize power, with some surprising options in the mix. Get the whole thing here! t.co/aHIM8IpCJD @alastaircampbell2.bsky.social

Here it is, folks. The galactic showdown you've all been waiting for: COUNT BINFACE MEETS ALASTAIR CAMPBELL! It's the explosive new episode of my award-winning* podcast Trash Talk. Get the whole thing here! pod.fo/e/31f8e5 (*in the future). @alastaircampbell2.bsky.social

It's time for a new round of #AskBinface! Time to send me your questions and policy ideas. I'll address them on the next episode of my podcast Trash Talk, which features a HUGE special guest...!

It never rains but it pours.

Who is the MASSIVE political beast I’ve been chatting to for my podcast, Trash Talk? Click here and be the first to know! countbinface.substack.com/p/my-biggest...

How do I reproduce? Why are Tories like wasps? How are vomiting bats like socialists? FIND OUT all of this and MORE in brand new TRASH TALK! with special guest @juleslhoward podfollow.com/trash-talk-w...

Ding ding! It's Monday. Planet Earth is still burning. And so are humans' questions. So it must be time for another round of #AskBinface! Send me your posers and policy ideas, and I'll tackle them on TRASH TALK! (New episode trops tomorrow.) CB x

RIP Zod.

Could Donald Trump actually be about to save the world? In the omniverse of possibilities, there is one timeline when he does. This one! Read a time-traveller’s guide here: countbinface.substack.com/p/trump-and-...

Because they couldn’t beat me.

2 down, 648 to go! In this week's exciting instalment of Trash Talk I meet Labour backbench MP and member of the Culture, Media and Sport Committee, @rupahuq.bsky.social. Get it in your ears here! pod.fo/e/310e72 Which MP should be next to face me? Nominate your pick!

Humans! Time for a flash #AskBinface - parliament might be on holiday but I'm not! Send me your questions or policy ideas and I'll feature my favourite ones in tomorrow's edition of Trash Talk!

NEW TRASH TALK KLAXON! The latest edition of my galactically renowned podcast is out now, with special guest Jan Ravens, plus exclusive cameos from Kirsty Wark, Theresa May AND Liz Truss. Well, kinda. Get it in your ears here! pod.fo/e/30aa9b

Flash #AskBinface! Send me here any posers you have for Prime Binister’s Question Time, and I’ll answer the best ones in my new episode of Trash Talk which drops tomorrow, with special guest Jan Ravens!

COUNT BINFACE MOVIE! To prove that a politician can play a round without cheating, I'm releasing a galactic premiere. An 18-minute film of me playing 18 holes of crazy golf with Ben Fogle! See the whole thing by subscribing to me at BetterThanX.co.uk. Here's a taster...

In 200 days? I can show you 46 now.

BRAND NEW BINFACE! The latest episode of my intergalactic podcast Trash Talk is out NOW, with special guest @helenlewis.bsky.social, as we dissect the thorny and bigly subject of genius. Get it in your ears here! pod.fo/e/304c97

I reckon you might enjoy a little Monday pick-me-up: Count Binface versus the world's media. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj7p...

What should we do with the hereditary peers? According to a current Lord they should be kept because, amongst other reasons, 'one of them is a vet'. Read my FULL INTERGALACTIC REPORT on the Lords here! countbinface.substack.com/p/off-with-t...

Seeing as no other political party has the guts to do it, I guess it’s all down to me. So - drum roll please - I present my full review of The House of Lords! You can probably imagine my conclusion, but as every good teacher says, show your working. countbinface.substack.com/p/off-with-t...

Seeing as no other political party has the guts to do it, I guess it’s all down to me. So - drum roll please - I present my full review of The House of Lords! You can probably imagine my conclusion, but as every good teacher says, show your working. countbinface.substack.com/p/off-with-t...

ANOTHER Binface policy enacted. Now to cap it at 80…

Absolutely loved this episode. And I would absolutely back your policy of restricting access to supermarkets on the weekends. It was carnage today!

EXCLUSIVE! New episode of my podcast Trash Talk OUT NOW, with special guest Mark Gatiss. Here he is sharing a brilliant story about a certain former Prime Minister. Treat yourself to the full episode and subscribe to the greatest show in the omniverse! pod.fo/e/2f7803