Me flirting

Who says God has no sense of humour? Gone for a breakfast wishing I was still in Berlin. Local place playing fucking Heroes when I walk in. I didn’t hear it once the whole time I was there….

When he wrote this he was giving it the full Chai Wallah from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum in his head

Superb piece by @barneyronay.bsky.social www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Britain is a disaster that's going to get much worse, escape to another country if you're able to. There are much safer, much nicer, much more peaceful places in the world to live.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? WHAT IF IT BREAKS? WWHHHAAATTTT?????

When you wake up after being away and go to the kitchen and remember you had embarked on a policy of “eating all you had in the house before you went away” (Insert GIF found under search for “FMFL”)

the greatest youtube comment of all time

#90sTop30 #MusicChallenge Day 8 (unranked) Spiritualised - Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space A song that does what it says on the tin. youtu.be/iB7E1D_3Na4?...

Land back in UK. Instantly raining and within 10 mins I’ve seen someone vomiting in their own lap. Fucking hell.

No more authentically German experience than eating a McDonald’s breakfast and then watching Little House on the Prairie in your hotel room.

#90sTop30 #MusicChallenge Day 7 (unranked) Pulp -This is Hardcore youtu.be/qUMqXWaF4Ac?... How do you follow accidentally becoming the biggest pop star in Britain? You go the full Scott Walker and make a fin de siecle baroque record about addiction to porn and the pop charts feel a little scared.

Reached the fuck it hair of the dog stage of proceedings

Look for the bar named Smileys Peephole, ask for Hildegard, best hangover cure in Europe apparently.

Protomartyr were incredible last night. Best I’ve seen them in a while Absolute machine. Post punk noise pop for the end of days.

…currently to be seen in a neo nor thriller called Hungover in Berlin….

#90sTop30 #MusicChallenge Day 6 (unranked) Tindersticks - Marbles youtu.be/fKRfWcRZpYM?... Choosing a single song by the best British band to emerge in the nineties is damn near impossible. Might as well start at the start.

Having a candlelight pint in a Berlin pub where they still let you puff on a fag with your pint of Pilsner….

Airport pint. And I’ve had a massive breakfast. Honestly I disgust myself.

#90sTop30 #MusicChallenge Day 5 (unranked) Tom Waits - Take It With Me youtu.be/Dixxse4dpQ4?... “It’s a long time since I drank champagne..” Tom ending the old millennium with a song to make you sad seeing anything go.

On this day 1605: Guy Fawkes attempts to blow up King James I and the Houses of Parliament.

Sheffield Wednesdays

Mamdani acceptance speech. Impassioned, inclusive & inspiring. He spoke of wresting power from the rich. He spoke in support of trans people & immigrants, he spoke in Urdu & it even had gags. "Politics is no longer something that's done to us, it's something we do" This hope business is heady stuff.

UK Centrists: Woo Mamdani, my guy! Yes!! UK Centrists if a Mamdani figure emerged in UK: IWhoa just hang on now….

Goodnight sweet ladies

Oh no not Dick Cheney.

Just think how much more powerful Bullet In The Head by Rage Against the Machine would’ve been if they’d called it Sandwich In The Knee.

Me, checking my bank balance at any given moment.

#90sTop30 #MusicChallenge Day 4 (unranked) Manic Street Preachers -Everything Must Go youtu.be/uU5trjpFus0?... Catharsis sounds like a Welsh word. This is the kind of record u2 spent a lifetime wishing they were capable of making. Make the political personal. Kubler Ross meets Phil Spector.

I like to think the ironing board is a travel bed for when he's overdone it on the wine.

A man on this bus is transporting a brand new ironing board. He’s also discreetly sipping from a small bottle of wine. Just now I was in Greggs where an old man called the girl behind the counter a fucking liar when she said there were no sausage rolls left. Fuck Gavin and Stacey. This is Barry.

Every adult who can successfully complete a General Intelligence test should be allowed 1 self prescription of antibiotics a year.

Magritte Brain

Just phoned GP’s. Surgery is round the corner from me. “Hi, yeah I’d like to see a GP. I have a chest infection that’s getting worse if anything.” “Oh we don’t do those here now. Barry Hospital will ring you with an appointment.” 7 miles away. So now I have to get a bus and infect others. Madness

One Painting Under the Louvre

DEL: Basically with your yen achieving economic dominance in the near future, the future looks bleak for small businesses, as American corporations look to China to secure their corporate futures rather than maintain traditional trading links with the Old World. RODNEY: Oh that's just t’rific Del!

Down Under by Men at Work. Our Price, Bromley High Street (top end), the first record I bought for myself. I was 12 and I think it was 99p. The B side was called Crazy and I liked it more than the A side a year later.

Yay! Bills!

This weeks Sunday night distraction movie is an absolute chuckle fest.

Every year I forget that this is the Annual Festival of Illiterate Fuckwits Allowed To Purchase Explosives.

Millwall legend.

Wombat-mosphere

Colony

Tyler Adams is the first Premier League goal scorer named after two US presidents since Polk Hoover netted for QPR against Wimbledon in 1993.

New Darwin Fades. Best I've got.

Bondisolation Beach

Adelaiders Of Men* *(Warsaw but still)

Madge Will Tear Us Apart

A Means To An Ind (okay I'm stopping now)