NARRATOR: Eventually the President, unable to remember which particular action was meant to distract from what particular scandal, demanded an immediate halt to the enrichment of Melania and safe passage through the Straits of January 6th.

LATEST: The Straits of Hormuz would like all speculation linking it to figures implicated in the Epstein files to cease.

We in where David?

The word 'possible' there, inserting itself into a perfectly rational headline like a jehovah's witness's foot in an atheist's front door.

That Board of Peace has been very quiet lately.

Education. Not essential for starting wars. But pretty good at stopping them.

Pete Hegseth totally annihilating suit styling with merciless ruthlessness. It looks like he stole that jacket from a child.

Klingon ears?

You put your ceasefire in, Your ceasefire out, In, out, in, out, You shake it all about...

Penguinfluencer over ere

I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat

"The bond markets seeing a lotta downside risk in that large beast slouching towards bethlehem..."

He is in fact the death of a civilisation. Just not the one he means.

I cannot tell you how great it is the see the NASA coverage for the first time since my childhood craze ;-) I've got my lunar map of the far side, which is helpfully aligned exactly with the solar array camera image...

Pete Hesgeth's ears look bigger in this shot.

Chris Grey in absolutely blistering form this week Much of it is dedicated to the dishonesty pervading UK politics which is a result of Brexit. Mostly Brexit is being usedfor political point scoring rather than discussing what type of society the UK should be 1 chrisgreybrexitblog....

Morning Bluesky.

Appointed by God, apparently.

Chasing simple answers to complicated things will be the death of us. We're drinking sea water because it's the doldrums and we're thirsty.

I can’t help it. I still have an emotional attachment to rationality.

<reads history notes> Didn't the last attempt to bomb an adversary 'back to the stone age' end in a chaotic helicopter retreat from an embassy roof? Or did those air strikes take out the hubris first?

I was just informed by my brother @stephenmcgann.uk that the Mail and the Sun have reported that I've GIVEN UP acting . They're confused, bless them, someone must have hacked the wrong phone. I do work in a rehab, I am training as a psychotherapist, still acting open.substack.com/pub/joemcgan...

'When your symptoms are treated one at a time, in isolation, without anyone looking at you as a whole person... you are a category of problem rather than a person with a problem. That your suffering has an asterisk next to it.' My brother on addiction, shame, and the gaps it grows in. x

This chart shows just how much trouble Bluesky is in. Sorry but we’re cooked.

Marmalade. A country that was once a serious contributor to affairs of international importance. F**king marmalade.

On current form the US really doesn't need a huge uplift in the Defense budget. It's doing a really good job of embarrassing the world to death.

"Don't let your indecision take you from behind..." Wise words from Bucks Fizz. #totp

That famous treaty they made entirely with themselves. That one.

Just caught up with this. Well worth a read. www.nytimes.com/2026/03/29/o...

Quietly livid. My school's careers officer never once suggested that 'Swedish Pop Provocateur' was a job opportunity.

This! I've spent a working life being surprised and thwarted by bank holidays - wondering why nobody is answering the phone, or why a shop is shut. If it's got a 'y' in the day...

I could always get my head around the concept of an 'end of days'. I just didn't expect it to be so infantile.

The combination of cynicism and purity that tightens the chokehold on tolerance from both sides. Brilliant and important stuff.

I see we're at the '2am drunk outside a northern nightclub' stage of transatlantic diplomacy...

Left: Kemi Badenoch says if we drill today that money could be used to subsidise energy bills Right: Kemi Badenoch says no one is suggesting that if we drill today the money would subsidise energy bills

My brilliant big brother has started a substack on his experiences as a caseworker and tutor at a frontline addiction rehab in Liverpool. Give it a look. xx

To understand the power of asymmetric warfare, one must first be able to spell 'asymmetric'.

EMULATE THE DUSTBUSTER!

I wish to inform you that due to the productive discussions I had in my dreams last night, I will now be postponing my intention to perform naked onstage holding a blancmange for a period of 5 days.

Examples are all around us that show we don't see objective reality in the way we think we do. Our brain, and its own flawed value system, gets in the way of every perception. Remarkable then that we can't or won't scale this simple, persistent fact to our wider assumptions about the world.

I was born into the sober aftershock of the horrific Nazi ends of hating others for being others. Yet before I even reach pension age, ambulances burn, and places of worship are riddled with bullets. Hatred is the beast with no memory. The self-righteous parent to every evil. The one true 'other'.

Look on my works ye moggie and despair...

It's only force majeure if it comes from the Majeure region of France. Otherwise it's just a sparkling shitshow.

I still walk like that now...

Bone spurs.

It's not even him any more. It's the legion of minions. Those snivelling, squirming, faceless, loose-shoed head nodders in back of shot. Every ounce of self-respect squeezed out of them by the school bully till they can't even take a dump unless he gives his blessing.