A friend texts to tell me she was at a new year party with someone who went to school with someone called Gaynor Hardon This has not been rigorously fact-checked, but I felt sure you would all want to know nevertheless

Cat in a tie menace remains my favourite genre of cat 👔

It's 10 years since Cat Food Letterbox Day! Oh happy day!

BRB, just off to pitch a Charlie’s Angels-style movie in which Betty Boop, Nancy Drew and Jane Marple investigate the theft of a Mondrian painting

Generals gathered in their masses Just like lime pigs by your glasses

It’s exactly seven years since Greggs announced it would start selling vegan sausage rolls the following day, so it must be time to celebrate this exchange from the old place

Ah, New Year’s Day! That can only mean one thing. YES, THAT’S RIGHT! The 148th anniversary of New York Herald proprietor James Gordon Bennett Jr being banished from polite society for pissing in his fiancée’s fireplace, thus giving the world the phrase ‘Gordon Bennett!’ 🧵

She Who Is Not Called Mrs Coates has just reminded me what a momentous day this is #BINS

Jesus, Netflix. The fuck did I ever do to you?

What was your biggest impact on the internet? This now defunct tumblr was mine

“You, sir, are a disgrace. A guttersnipe. The lowest of the low. Oh, you’re getting up, are you? I shall accompany you to the kitchen”

I was flicking through tv channels earlier and happened upon Steel Magnolias. I couldn’t understand why someone who wasn’t Bill Pullman was wearing Bill Pullman’s hair

Happy tenth anniversary to photographer Joel Goodman’s classic image which by rights should be hanging in the Louvre.

Thirty years ago today. The most beautiful, hopeful farewell.

Well, if it’s 31 December, it’s... yes, of course: 172nd anniversary of the dinner Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins, creator of the Crystal Palace dinosaurs, gave for 21 leading academics and other VIPs inside the Iguanodon

Be gentle… my @theguardian.com debut. All about levenslied.

I’m a bit late to the party, but if you have Apple TV and aren’t already way ahead of me, this is hilarious and truthful/characterful/well-observed and all that

What’s that? Everyone’s been doing interactions with celebrities, and you haven’t yet seen me recycle the one about Peter O’Toole telling me to fuck off? Well…

I went into The Outside and came across a side quest cat and a portal

This thread is just as good as people have promised

Roses are red It’s almost New Year

Shall I do something with my afternoon or shall I say “fuck it, Back to the Future’s on”? Stupid question. Watching Back to the Future *is* doing something with my afternoon. Possibly the best use of it

We are almost at the magic 20k mark - who will get us over the line?

Well, what else could we mark on 29 December but the 97th anniversary of the birth of that gift to the world, Bernard Cribbins? (small🧵)

I just came across (while looking for something else entirely) a sentence by Eimar McBride that I wrote down ages ago, and which now seems… relevant: “While a picture may paint a thousand words, a thousand considered words are more powerful than a thousand misleading pictures.”

Having had a day to think through everything about El-Fattah, here's where I stand. Yes, it's possible to believe all of these things at once! In fact, it really shouldn't be that hard.

Just spotted that this is on again tonight. Always worth seeing

Facebook tells me it’s four years since Daughter wrapped a rainbow thing round Tommy’s neck and sent me a photo of ‘gay pride cat’. I still think it’s more ‘stern lesbian aunt who doesn’t see why everyone today needs to make all this fuss about it’ cat

Pssh-te-koof, pssh-te-koof, pssh-te-koof… (that’s how I spell it, anyway)

Loving the tone of @noemikissdeaki.bsky.social’s ‘Mary and the Rabbit Dream’ from @galleybeggars.bsky.social

Awimbawa Awimbawa Awimbawa Awimbawa In the ocean A frigid ocean

Ah, 28 December: 146th anniversary of the Tay Bridge disaster, which tragically took the lives of 59 people – and rather more happily gave the world ‘Sir’ William Topaz McGonagall’s most famous work

A late but magnificent footnote to the Fanny Cradock stuff

roses are red you’re a brunette

Roses are red Don’t have a cow

Roses are Red Violets are Good...

From the archive for Barbara Comyns, #BornOnThisDay in 1907, thoughts on WHO WAS CHANGED AND WHO WAS DEAD, in which the inhabitants of an English village fall victim to a series of disturbing occurrences. Surreal, distinctive & utterly compelling. #BookSky jacquiwine.wordpress.com/2021/05/11/w...

Alas! It is 31 years since the world was deprived of one of its more colourful culinary characters: Phyllis Nan Sortain Pechey – better known as double bigamist, child abandoner, amphetamine user, dangerous driver, and celebrity cook Fanny Cradock

Just had reason to revisit Nancy Banks-Smith’s review of A Warning to the Curious “in which a rag, a bone and a hank of hair pursued Peter Aaugh. I was trying to write Vaughan but my typewriter started to scream”

Happy 8th anniversary to the Churchill Anus Society.

It’s the 32nd anniversary today of one of the greatest chase sequences in the whole history of the motion picture, which means it’s also the anniversary of the single greatest sound effect 🧵👇

Got praise from Daughter yesterday for cooking lunch without swearing very much. And these socks. It’s almost as if she’s trying to tell me something The little fucker

Sod it, going to give this one last plug, in case there are people around who weren’t earlier

Each Christmas my husband makes me a year in review made up of our no-context WhatsApp photos to each other, and it is my favourite thing ever. No evidence of our holiday, obviously, but local roadworks were well represented.

Well, it’s Christmas Day, so it must be time to talk about Jesus – specifically, about how on this day 1,225 years ago, Charlemagne, who was in Rome to be crowned Carolingian Emperor, presented Pope Leo III with the very holiest of relics: the Foreskin of Our Lord 🧵

Putting the sign up early, cos I need to tap it a lot when discourse about the best Christmas movie starts up

Happy Christmas. True story. There was a lad in my class at school called Mark Singh who we used to call The Herald Angel.