you will pry my oat flat white from my cold, dead hands, you joyless monsters.

Today in writerly things, I had a very good day and wrote nearly 7000 words of Book 9, some of which I think were mildly funny. I go to bed slightly boggle-eyed but very happy.

Me watching Heated Rivalry on a packed train.

Can we all just take a moment to celebrate mums who invite you for Sunday lunch at short notice and then dish up a full roast in a warming oven. Cheers, mum 🥰

I was 12, and this album charted the course of the kind of music I would listen to for the rest of the 1980s. A classic.

Haven’t heard Stephen from the Traitors say the word ‘turret’ in days and I wither inside a little more with each passing hour

Had one of these snack packs from M&S yesterday - took me a few minutes to realise that it's just a really posh Dairylea Lunchable, which apparently aren't even called Lunchables any more. Everything is shit.

Joining a work call from Paddington is a risky business 🤢

The Take That documentary on Netflix is great. And also Everything Changes is the best Take That song and I will not be taking feedback at this time.

Having a very satisfying wardrobe clearout - here's my Vinted page. Mostly size 10 but also some 8/12/14 (the past few years have been a journey) www.vinted.co.uk/member/82057...

Hadn't expected the end of #TheTraitors to go from 'might vomit' to 'you guys are so cute' quite so quickly. I have whiplash, but already gutted it's over!

he looks like a ball of earwax rolled in lint.

If it ever seems like GenX and elder Millennials are obnoxiously loud about queerphobia and, specifically, trans rights, you have to remember we grew up in a society saturated by homophobia and decided "never again". This shame and hatred must not simply be redirected. It must end with us.

#TheTraitors is truly phenomenal telly. WHAT an episode.

Jade is outstanding and I would be happy if she won #TheTraitors

Oh Stephen, you might regret turning on Rachel. She will have your entrails for breakfast #TheTraitors

Oscar noms has highlighted that I haven't seen a single cinema release since...probably the Barbie Movie? Going to my local cinema has become a miserable experience of people chatting, using phones and being dicks.

Who put 50p in Faraaz? He's been practically mute for three weeks #TheTraitors

Mabel is judging the Faithfuls hard #TheTraitors

I love the whole "why am I still here?" thing on #TheTraitors. Babe the Traitors can only get rid of one person a day and you're not remotely interesting enough to murder. Sorry to break this to you.

Brooklyn Beckham mother/son wedding dance be like

Brooklyn Beckham: it's time to address the shadowy shape that's difficult to photograph in the room

8 days hiking in the Picos De Europa mountains in northern Spain in May. Driving down over 3 days so we can take our dog.

Whoever designed the new @metoffice.gov.uk app deserves a lifetime of inclement weather. It's awful.

In a world that is rapidly unravelling, Reddit continues to bring joy.

I know Harriet is right, obviously, but that 'evidence' was flaky at best #TheTraitors

Really want everyone to vote Harriet out purely for being a rude, toxic Faithful #TheTraitors

Imagine if Rachel and Harriet from #TheTraitors ran your HR department. Hybrid working? Fuck that.

Can people stop saying I look like Harriet now please because she's absolutely terrifying #TheTraitors

My menopause sleep is awful - no problem getting to sleep, but four hours later I'm wide awake with a very busy brain and that's that. Magnesium made me need to wee 4 times a night. Any suggestions, ladies??

Am in reception of a London ad agency. Could be any of them, they're all the same.

This train carriage is a plague house. Go home, all of you 😷🤢

Incredible Sunday Savagery right here.

those Mayflower guys begged to differ, but happy to revoke that claim too you ignorant sack of farts.

Have now had THREE PEOPLE tell me that Harriet and I look alike. We are not sisters, but I kind of wish we were.

#TheTraitors Facebook Marketplace:

Presumably Jessie will give up on the library theory now. Right idea, wrong traitor #TheTraitors

What is Fiona on, exactly? All that drama, and then she doesn’t even vote for Rachel??? #TheTraitors

Fiona is a psychopath #TheTraitors

I am finding this episode of #TheTraitors very stressful. Can the all just have a party and drink cocktails or something?

Fiona is actually unhinged #TheTraitors

Who is Matthew on #TheTraitors? Not sure I've ever seen him before 🤷‍♀️

love that Claudia is wearing an actual sheep #TheTraitors

Behold the latest @bertsbooks.bsky.social subscription! What a fabulous thing.

Nobody get in the wrong side of Rachel, she is without shame #TheTraitors

I am 100% faithful to Jade's cardigan #TheTraitors

had to explain #susanalbumparty to someone at work today. The golden days of Twitter, I miss them.

Rollercoaster of a day today. Made a really tough decision. Felt shit. Booked a holiday. Felt less shit.

My favourite festive season purchase: these fur fleece joggers from M&S, so warm and cosy and currently only £10 in the sale! I'm a comfy UK10 and the Small fits perfectly. www.marksandspencer.com/fur-fleece-l...

Reece at the next castle breakfast if #TheTraitors don't murder him.