Clean bedding, lush. I'll give it 30 minutes until it's covered in cat hair though

"Oh, Vic, I've fallen ..."

I've reached the point of cooking the Sunday roast where I've had so much beer I cant be arsed serving it up.

Torch the gaff

Into these Centrist, Blue Labour fancy coffee, avocado munching fucking schlaags, you fucking horrible Spurs cunts.

Next door just came round in a tizzy because nothing on her TV was anything she usually watches, she wanted me to fix it, she's got dementia, trying to explain to her that different channels show different things on different days and reassure her that it's all OK is fucking heartbreaking.

Wanting a Spurs win is a very uncomfortable feeling

Phone has upgraded to Android 16 QPR1. Material Design 3 is Fisher Price AF

"Who the fucking hell are Slipknot?"

"Could the owner of a white Astra, registration WV08 AVZ, please move it, you're blocking the kebab van's spot, thank you"

The Top Gear Presenters and Football Pundits equivalent of a ComicCon

Ecstasy and alcohol ... Co..co..co..co..cocaine!

Me as your Bsky therapist

"Paint me like one of your French tarts" #caturday

Be nice if Russia could just fuck off now, tbh

Arne Slot

Right then, Howay the lads, and all that.

Imagine the litter tray.

There must be a Comic Con in town, fancy dress virgins AOTS

I see Boris Johnson is being a cunt again.

Saturday 11.30, it's that time again

Wakes, opens app, cricket chat, closes app.

Just woke from a really vivid dream in which I was tripping my tits off with Mrs Yak, woke her to check she was dealing with it OK, she told me to fuck off. Hope the rats eat her face now, the ungrateful cunt

Shabana Mahmood's vision of A Better Britain

Meet Phillip. Phillip has issues Please mock Phillip because he's massive fanny

Why are there Marc Almond videos all over my TL, has he died

Björk is 60 today. Still can't sing though, the growling weird fucker.

@harrymcnally.bsky.social Is hoping to get this for Christmas, all over his boat.

NotBob is more than just a cat, she's my style icon and spirit guide.

I Am The Resurrection, the bass makes the track, the rest is just decoration. The end of it always makes me think of the theme music to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy though

Listening to The Stone Roses, because Mani 🙁, and I can't help wondering, in the days before autotune, how many takes it took to capture raging conspiracy mad, honking fucking head case cunt, Ian Brown being in tune.

Considering the viability of engine swapping one of those with a turbocharged MX5 lump for lolz

Meet Glen. Glen is a gundog, well, he was supposed to be a gundog, but he's scared of loud noises. #dogsinpubs

I'm having a pint, fuck you

If you see this post your getaway vehicle *just getting in before @williamshuttoh.bsky.social fucking starts*

Right, just a few hours of pretending to work and then it's #cans.

Just been blocked by Destiny Sugarbuns, gutted.

"Which was nice"

Overnight BlueSky used to be the insane ramblings of unhinged Americans, now it's all Cricket. I miss those Americans

Contracted the surgery about my mutant spine. Apparently I can speak to my GP ... on the 11th December ... 7.10 PM ... on the phone

Got my big coat and wooly hat on, she said I look like ...

I reckon we should all have another 3 months off work to mark the covid report.

So, Boris Johnson is a useless sack of shit devoid of morality. Wow

There's a Christmas nativity special just begging to be made

Free money, nice.

"Cocktail and karaoke bar" Sounds like a hellhole packed with cunts

Keep your steak and blow job #InternationalMensDay

Games up, lads.

Don't get too giddy about Scotland qualifying for the Werld Cup. Del Amitri might do another song.