"Since records began" 1948 then, yeah?

Useless apples and pears, cor blimey, pearly kings and queens, BASTARDS.

Currently revising the offsite backup strategy for my @unraid.net NAS. Mad to think I used to have sex with actual real ladies once.

Tuxedo cat AND Vespa scooters, perfection.

"Get fucked, Fatso"

Imagine scooping the shit out of the litter tray though. "Dad, he's eaten the sofa again"

Currently trying to explain to fatso that this is my bed and I need to sleep, it's not going well.

The negroni is the biggest mug off ever. Drink this, it's the water you descaled the kettle with, it tastes like shit, but it's well cool I'll take 5, please, Barperson

The best part of a long term relationship is being told how fucking disappointing you are as you wobble down the road drunk as fuck.

Let's see if the midget police can take this lad down.

I'm drunk, let's see if I can get home without starting a fight I can't win.

Fat fucking cunt

Graham Norton, the acid years.

New pub, new rules.

Ere, @penk.bsky.social, told the couple we're out drinking #wankycans with in Bristol that next time we'll go to Sips. She's from Wigan so you too can talk about pies and whippets and that.

Subtle undertones of Special Brew and sleeping in a bus shelter.

Standard Bristol Boozing.

Being forced to go to Bristol for daytime drinking.

This

Sometimes I wish I was a less drunk and more serious person. Oh well, at least I don't vote vote Reform. Pint?

The main problem with Dexy's Searching for the Young Soul Rebels album is it ends.

And I'm a Republican. So sorry.

Every time I reply to a post

See her, this whole shitfest is her fault, the White Company shit wide-legged trousers for the older woman, Antiques Roadshow, Tory. Fucking. Cunt.

Even the Geordies are fascist now, we're fucked, lads. Time to build a wall with mines across the M4, keep all these northern Nazi bastards out.

Friday night and I'm trying to get this piece of shit to boot and install pfsense, while drinking #cans and listening to Gorillaz. In case you were wondering how hot I am, ladies

No, so fuck those bastards.

Forget the old racists, and be more cat.

Perhaps all the people that voted Reform are right and we're all wrong, it seems quite popular.

Local news just voxpopped some Swindon voters.

I'm the pub, loads of 6th formers that have just finished school trying to get a pint and being binned off. Warms the cockles

England today.

"We got all the right votes, just in the wrong order"

Chlamydia? Vaxxed? Rosco P. Coltrane?

Anyway, fuck the Nazis, time for a pint.

Angine de Poitrine are just a fancy dress Ozric Tentacles

“Why can’t my nan have anyone to come out and help shower her?” “Well, the main thing is that the civic centre no longer has unisex toilets, and I think we all agree that’s very important.”

Councils up and down the country in a few months "When's bins?" "Bins are WOKE, look at the lovely new flag on the lamppost outside your house though"

I see the nasty old racists are having a jolly day. It'll be an extra slice of Battenburg and 'Hurrah for the Blackshirts' in care homes everywhere.

Just one wafer fab ...

How long before we find out if the mad old racists won?

"I'm not wearing any panties"

"Get it bummed"

Everyone work from home and hope for a good summer.

I see the alcho-cops are up in arms, "You shouldn't be drinking before a flight anyway", "You've got a problem" Meanwhile, in club class ... "Free champagne, yes please" Ah, the rancid stench of hypocrisy.

Knackered all day and now I can't sleep.

"It's a heartache" "No, it's intestinal"

Was it a glass covfefe table?

Ketamine, strangle wanking and sucking off a donkey.

They say dogs and their owners become alike. So this must be YER MA's dog