@dano1883.bsky.social ooh hello

Nigella has just mentioned her hot , juicy shrimp .

Robert Jenerick refuses to listen to the music of Slade . " Any band from the self proclaimed Black Country should integrate themselves into British society first " said the diminutive racist .

Robert Jenrick refuses to drink Um Bongo , preferring R Whites instead

Its getting darker . Obviously I mean the nights are drawing in not what Robert Jenrick says as he enters Birmingham from The Cotswolds .

Robert Jenrick thinks Magnolia paint is Un-British

See Sue the Panda has been on the fat jabs .

Can any builders merchants make a door casing that isnt shaped like an Arabs dagger ?

Had more regenerations than Doctor Who and the town is still a shit hole .

Due a haircut but now my hair is 80% white . Im toying with letting it grow and combing whats left of it back ? Like a Mafia Don or those Spanish old fellas that wear their slacks at chest height ?

Milky is an ace word . Im a fan of all things milky

What a glorious day

Having a pint with Our kid .

Over the hedge on Sky Movies . Ben Folds tastic

Nobody , nobody has spent this much time at Crewe station

Nobody has been so exited to pull into Crewe .

Whitney to Lime St home . Like the last copter out of Saigon .

Train tapas

Im in Bromleys Wetherspoon's . Its how I imagine the Reform conference looks like ?

Bugger left at 3 /1

Relegation battle starts early . Tranmere are rubbish .

Aye Aye Theseus has stumbled out of the labyrinth

We have arrived in Londonistan . Pops wallet in front pocket of jeans and stays on high alert for machete wielding locals

Morning all . Time for some fourth division football shenanigans

Nanny Aud has sent up some copies of The Express to help light the log burner . Ralphs egging me on to throw the frog faced cunt on

I used to spend Friday nights cuddling the lady who later became my wife on our couch . Now I cuddle a Jackhund Terrier with dreadful flatulence . Though he matches my corduroys .

Im off to that there London tomorrow . Hopefully I don't get mugged for my watch and remember to abide by Sharia Law when I buy a £15 pint ?

Fearing for my sunflowers

Did I mention Im taking Friday afternoons off to improve my mental health ? Currently sat pissed wet through waiting for someone to turn up so I can try and stop the church roof leaking in a hurricane .

It’s Friday & I’m pleased to announce that for the Half Man Half Biscuit fan who thinks they have everything,a new HMHB map of the UK has arrived with over 200 locations mentioned in their inimitable lyrics. Something for the weekend? Oh, yes, I think so. xx www.edwardphilips.co.uk/vintage-rail...

You know when Twitter got proper shite and we found over here and it was a bit good without the Yank politics ? Well now heres proper shite and Im bored of Yank politics . Wheres next ? Or do I just pack it all in and go back to watching the telly ?

Morning all . Thankfully its Friday and after a week of wheel barrow pushing I can finally relax .

Im watching Eva Longoria in Spain . Shes ace

The word Costco has been mentioned , so I've told her Everton are at home .

See The Makers of Peaky Blinders are making a new series inspired by Peaky Blinders called Peaky Blinders .

Ralph

Fella in this house makes the most appalling tea . Sure hes using the hot tap rather than the kettle ?

As soon as Bluesky rolls out a feature to block an entire country, it'll make an absolute killing.

Bloomin eck . Im aching all over , 58 is too old for manual labour .

My sweaty assistant wants to hurry up home from his penthouse guest house in Llandudno . Im bloomin knackered pushing wheels barrows round all day .

Oh good its raining and I'm pushing a wheel barrow all day as Alan Whicker is still in Llandudno .

Morning . White Rabbit

Barking at the log burner is the new thing in our gaff .

BassStick ?

£6 for a pint of cod Spanish Cruzcampo in the filthy shit hole that is The Shrew .

Right im off to drop a non driving plasterer off and then jump on the wheel barrow all day as my trusty skip filler has dared to spend the week in North Wales .