This, but it’s my cats staring at me whilst I poo.

I'd love to see this talentless cunt sold for meat in China.

Did Chris Morris work on the latest Always Ultra ad campaign?

British Quakers are refusing room bookings from terfs as policy. If you were waiting for an org to stand up for LGBTQIA+ rights, and unflinchingly withstand bullying and lawfare, here you go, friends. Good luck to the raging bigots, they'll get nowhere with threats.

I would not object to Aston Villa doing a Leicester this season. There. I said it.

Fartlow is off on one again.

This is genius.

100 Bullets over as many series as it wants.

I love how ungainly they are on land.

@craftycow.bsky.social may be interested to know that Betty claimed the sofa within minutes of it being unwrapped. H/t to @garius.bsky.social for pointing me in the direction of this awesome vendor.

TERFs demanding everyone continue to be their friend despite espousing a genocidal ideology and generally acting the prick: An ongoing series.

I have the smug glow of a man who has pre-booked a tip run for Sunday morning. Thus I am freed from the tyranny of “WHEN IS BINS?!”

Genuinely moving monologue by @alicefraser.bsky.social on this week’s @thebugle.bsky.social which I exhort everyone to listen to. Made me cry on my lunchtime walk ffs…

Babestation are showing Whistle and I’ll Come on You later so that’s nice.

WIFE OF THE GOD OF HELLFIRE: Ooh, Christmas Day. What has my husband brought me? (smells burning coming from under tree) Fuck sake…

Big shout out to all my enemies in 2025. ~Thumps chest~ Another good year keeping me on my toes lads. Here’s to 2026.

Want to hear about my worst ever Christmas Day? Sure you do. 20-ish years ago, my then-girlfriend said her brother had invited us to spend Christmas day with him and his girlfriend at said girlfriend's mum's house. Sounds cosy, right? Nope. 1/

Was at a Christmas party with a load of clergy last night and as some people were leaving they found a person collapsed on the street outside so the Verger took over and called an ambulance and sent all the clergy away because "if they wake up surrounded by priests that'll just make things worse"

Hello, So, our holiday accommodation is finally up on Airbnb. If you want a holiday stay on the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica in the middle of secondary rainforest with views like the one below (or you know somebody who would) take a look: airbnb.com/h/casitaanya

Once again it’s one rule for some and another for us plebs. You can cover your entire house in a sickening array of lights and lasers at this time of year but god forbid you put up a 50 foot burning wicker Gloria Hunniford in an ASDA car park.

I do not believe that anyone has ever apologised for being white, either in the USA or anywhere else.

If they could, every one of their shitty little Rowling-funded lawsuits would demand that everyone has to be their friend, no matter what bigoted nonsense they vomit out. www.theguardian.com/world/2025/d...

Stone Roses frontman Ian Brown, there. Dropping off some weapons and drugs to a biker gang on Canvey Island

Just been at the hospital for an appointment and I think I might’ve seen a ghost. Not even joking. I rounded a corner and walked into something/someone, and was midway through my apology before it became clear there was no one there. Left with a strong sense of confusion from whatever it was…

I saw Icke and Tina Turner once. Disappointing to say the least. Tina was singing her hits whilst in the background some bloke in a shell suit was calling Prince Charles a lizard.

Fourty four years ago today, the Blake’s 7 finale was broadcast. Co-incidentally, 44 years ago today I became irrevocably convinced that no matter how hard the good guys try, evil will win & make us question whether the good guys are even that good as they do so. Thanks Terry Nation. Y’prick.

Never thought I’d say this, but poor Isak. What a shit way to end a terrible season for him, and tbh for both of the clubs he’s represented this year.

Sick of being told that Bob Holness was the first person to play James Bond, Sean Connery attempted to gain revenge on Bob by auditioning for the position of host of Blockbusters. Sadly he could not say the name of the show without causing hysterics and once again Holness was victorious.

You’re in her DMs. She is replicating her cells at an exponential rate. In three years she will have assimilated the entire planet. What’s more, you are Wilfred Brimley.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! May your sacrifices scream long and loud to herald the return of the Sun!

"...then I banged his widow like she was a leather sofa "

#Caturday hunting for fierce pom-poms…

Things he will do before he is no longer President: - Attempt to rename a major US city after him - Bulldoze the White House - Order the US army into a disastrous intervention - Pull the US out of NATO - Attempt to rename a major geographical feature after him - Publicly shit his pants

The least environmentally-friendly actor in Star Trek was DeForest Kelley.

Another year almost over and once again the Aberdare Tourist Board have rejected my kind offer of re-recording the Happy Days theme tune in an attempt to convey the joys of living in a town less than ten minutes from Mountain Ash.

a lot of AI advocates are this red guy

Forgotten TV shows. Learn Croatian with Cilla Black. Here she gives us the phrase for “rare talc”, “Brinu Dalc “

compromise make a sweet compromise (compro compro compro) compromise

I will use any excuse I can to tell the story about the time Bongino threatened to kill me on Twitter because I kept calling him Danny Bongos.

Harry Potter and the Pissing Away of Millions

On this day in 1979 Bob Marley won £170 quid on a double at Wincanton with the horses “Buffalo Soldier” and “Dreadlock Rasta” both ridden by Pat Eddery at Beverley. He would later document this success with his song “I won 170 quid on the nags”

@moderation.bsky.app Please remove the Rude label from Talib Kweli’s account. The guy is defending himself from a racist pile on. Him be the only one punished for it is NOT a good look for Bluesky.

Fully functioning genitalia.

Clay letters from ancient Mesopotamia are alive with idiom, sayings, and everyday language that I love. Here are just a few random ones so you can enjoy them too.

Hope this is the start of a new series called Xenophobic Fuckwits Rhyming Their Meals and Locations. Coming up after the break Tommy Robinson’s pizza in Ibiza…