My first film of 2026 is Withnail & I currently on Film4. I went to see it in the cinema 39 years ago.

2026 has been a disappointment so far.

STV and BBC Scotland really not doing it for me this year.

Happy new year x

Congratulations.

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/

2025 was my year of the microphone.

Right now, at about this time in 2000 in Jamaica, all the power died. Every light went out, every power socket was dead. Luckily they used the same software as several British power generators who unlike Jamaica had spent the money and time on Y2K fixes and they shared patches.

Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check

A friend worked out “Why don’t you go out for a wee walk? It might cheer you up” was (after being nicked with my name removed) was seen about 5 million times.

What was your biggest impact on the internet? Toss up between Pylons and #noseflags

This is the most perfect Bluesky Liberal response I’ve ever seen. Cannot fathom a person might want to talk about literally anything other than trump for a few minutes of their life.

Saw myself in a changing room mirror today where you can see yourself in profile and from the back. Thank you everyone who’s met me in real life for not telling me I look like a Gerald Scarfe cartoon.

I see Ronan Keating and Friends is on at 11:30.

Has any musician ever died between recording the Hootenanny and broadcast? I feel this must have happened.

The shadows on St Margaret’s Park for roughly three minutes this afternoon. My last photo of 2025.

Next door has been sanding all afternoon and now all I can hear is sanding. I hope he stops before the Hootenanny.

"This is the one thing we didn't want to happen"

"Gosh Graeme, you're so unpredictable"

When the T-Rex appeared the stegosaurus was already a 40 million year old fossil.

Sharks, as an evolutionary pathway, are older than the rings of Saturn.

as jeremy hardy used to say: “aha! you’re not so ‘socialist’ that you won’t wear shoes, i see!”

The balcony of Boots on Princes Street would be a good place to watch Wetleg tonight. If you wanted to watch Wetleg that is.

Shop’s open for nonsense again lads. Cards for the day of lurve n shit (soz but Easter’s started already. Besides. My stuff’s not too lovey dovey, and works for anniversaries and shit - even birthdays for belovedstoo! Cos they’re all BLANK for your message!) Dippyfishcards.etsy.com #bsnm #love

Randomly listened to this on the way into town. I’m not really a very generous laugher but I embarrassed myself at “No it’s not set on Pandora you dick!” shows.acast.com/brianandroge...

If, like me, you did NOT get the ONE thing you wanted from Santy (a 95-year-old bachelor farmer with plenty land and a bad cough), treat yourself to a print from an Irish doodler instead - big discounts across the shop, including on bundles, so go on. Go on go on go ON. www.ciaraioch.com/artprints

It is, what my divorced dad in the 80s would call, "Colder than your mum"

“Not as racist as I’d hoped. One star”

2025 was better for me than 2024 and 2023 was better than 2022 so I’m guessing that means 2026 will be rubbish. #optimism

Edgy Stand-Up Comedian Forgets To Add Something To His Set

Watching Tinker Tailor Solider Spy and I’m sure they’re using some classic sound effects. *album cover for illustration purposes only*

🎵”Suss-suss-sausages”🎵

Oh really really really really really really really hate new Dr Who speculation season. “Here’s a list of people who’d be fucking useless”

Someone swore at me for being upset that my mum’s dog had died when “Children are dying every day!” Which I found funnier than he wanted me to.

Jane Crowther • Fox Field •

“The way you pulled that microphone out of its socket I thought I was watching the new Chaplin”

Suspending Doctors Without Borders is definitely a thing healthy countries do

This is how you do it folks

Arguably the most famous painting of the 21st Century.

If any of you start calling next year "Twenty twenty-sex" you'll have to ask my permission. My rates reflect the contemporary marketplace.

Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies https://theonion.com/bachelorette-party-bankrupts-4-of-brides-fave-girlies/

Bought a shirt but didn’t try it on because this shop’s stuff normally fits me but getting home I realise I look like I’m recovering from an operation to remove my right arm. I’m sure there’s a lesson here.

I always encourage people to ask if they'd qualify for platelet donation. I don't because according to the specialist I'm "far too skinny" but you might be ideal and you could save a life.

I know I'm alone on this but I thought Mitchell and Webb are not helping wasn't quite as awful as everyone else did. It needed better editing but I did laugh occasionally and a lot of shows that are meant to make me laugh are lucky if they get so much as a smirk.

I totally read this wrong. They each have a twin?

Probably my worst Halloween was when a witch cursed me to not have the ability to make seasonal jokes at the right time of year.

pour one out to an icon www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

how all youtube ads sound to me