Matthew 2:13: an angel of the lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him” Shabana: To Stop the Donkeys we need to address enabling angels like this

My father in law has done his traditional Christmas Day Facebook post to remind us of the true meaning of the day: Reminding us of the greatest Christmas of all, December 25th, 1989, when they shot that bastard Ceaușescu

Grandad: "What's in those bottles Mate?" Me: "Shower gel Grandad" Him: "You can't drink it then?" Me: "No..." Him: "I thought it was limoncello or something."

He's beeeeeennnnn!!!

Looking at the griddle and end grain chopping board I am delighted with and my sister gushing over her handheld vacuum cleaner and realising maybe, just maybe, we're getting old.

If we all ask Santa hard enough

Merry Christmas all

That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even Tiny Tim did not die.

Honestly, why bother releasing the Epstein files?

Dramatisation

30 minutes in Nan: "What's this one called?" Me: "The Muppet Christmas Carol." Nan: "Oh, has it got muppets in it?" Mum: "...what did you think the frog was about?" Nan: "well, I don't know, it could have just been a strange opening."

Me: "The people's mess! Dunboyne Diana!" My Mum: "I'm not sure this is actually a Christmas Song."

Luke 2:1 "And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Cæsar Augustus that all the world should be taxed." Morgan McSweeney: "Focus groups are going to fucking hate this"

The ultimate Christmas present, my Eames chair is back from the furniture restorer

Halfway out the dark

First Christmas I've been single since 2018, and whilst I am okay it still feels vaguely new. Spending it with my family, who are their usual deranged selves and with the knowledge I will see in the new year as a different version of myself.

I see her kids aren't talking to her again

Farage says it confidently, Davey, Polanski and Swinney refuse to say it. Starmer tries to avoid saying it by muttering in such a way that the left thinks he said it and the right think he refused wokely. Badenoch sings the wrong word by mistake then makes sure to say the slur on telly the day after

Indulging in my favourite Christmas tradition* *having a coffee from the nice coffee shop in the shopping centre and watching men desperately hunting for something for their wives. Sure mate, she's going to love that ironing board cover...

That Kemi answer is pure misogyny, sorry. Nothing about her screams "patience and consideration to prepare a complicated meal."

you can tell Kemi hasn’t cut through because what do you mean only 7% think she’d be most likely to start an argument?

i posted this to badsite on 2018-07-28: "I've been mulling for the last two years the idea that the GOP's Southern Strategy was like the Bene Gesserit's Kwisatz Haderach breeding program and Trump is Paul Atreides fucking it up for them and they don't know how to put the sandtrout back in the qanat"

I checked this with Mum and she just went "Tom, she lives in my garage."

My sister: "you know Mum only listed me on her death in service?" Me: "huh?" Sister: "Yeah, they asked for her dependents and she went, well Tom isn't that dependent but Niamh definitely is."

This is going to end with Ed Davey on the run from a CIA hit squad

Thought this would be fun and nope, absolutely cruel

say what you will about Andrew Tate, but his decision to not have a chin likely saved his life in that fight. Just one of those uppercuts would've killed Bruce Campbell.

Maurice Glasman, do you hear me Maurice Glasman? Your boys took one hell of a beating

I have to say I think it was a mistake putting Barry White in charge of CBS News. Great singer but he’s no journalist, and he’s been dead for 20 years

The Andrew formerly known as Prince.

Ah, we're really doing comics movies now.

You could just refer to him by his formal title:

I think we're going to have to switch the Enigma machine back on to break this impenetrable code.

Easy top 5 Shakespeare adaptations, alongside West Side Story and My Own Private Idaho.

"How did that work out for trans"

Just re-air last years, there's a good chance we were all plastered enough that we've forgotten it.

Wait has Paul Young died?

A lot of people will only remember him for Driving Home for Christmas but he was also the man who taught Bob Mortimer to put an egg in his bath.

In news that I think will be of interest to more of Blue Sky than my actual friends, a Russian friend has gifted me what he describes as "genuine soviet chocolate."

An opinion so deranged I did assume it was from the Telegraph.

It's not the best game, although it is genuinely good, but Infamous 2's mechanic of letting you do side missions to actually clear out areas of mobs so it does feel like you're genuinely reclaiming the city should have been stolen by more games. It's up there with the Nemesis system.

I feel for that headline writer here, because there's so much weirdness? A) Councillors don't usually have advisers, wasteful or not. B) Said adviser has been feuding with Dan Hannan about Enoch Powell. C) They did all of this whilst in Reform branded Santa hats. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Off to a friend's Christmas party in Surbiton and realising my only cultural reference point is The Good Life...

Imagine the confusion when they turn back into Bruce Forsyth

I've never lived so close to a What Are We Even Doing Here real estate listing, and I am here, gifting you this experience, make sure to open the pictures www.redfin.com/MI/Ann-Arbor...

holidaymaker: "she's just sleeping!" easyJet gate staff: *banging the Nan's head off the counter* "this is an ex-grandparent!"

Starmer now doomed

It is genuinely remarkable how mask off it has all got this year