Harvard admissions officer : under hobbies and interests u wrote “i collect raccoon dicks” RFK jr : yes lmao Harvard admissions officer, sighing : its a good thing you’re a kennedy RFK jr : yes lmao

hahaha uh what

ok yall stanning reacher would be just as mad as that neighbor, because loud as fuck bikes blitzing around residential streets ARE annoying af and he can afford to take his kids to a circuit (tho dude should not have stepped out in front and got physical sure, fuck him for that)

i'm tempted to drop a take that will get everyone mad at me because it's tuesday and the sun is shining and there's no real other problems in the world to discuss

what about this gap in ur resume ah yes that's when i was an assistant manager at the Gap

"Qatar, which supplies a third of the world’s helium" yall the entire world is going to be gunning for the US economically and politically at minimum

They tried to get grand jury charges three fucking times Failed Then tried for a misdemeanor All the while, knowing it was bullshit These prosecutors need to face charges

Freak Pickleball accident certainly sounds more compelling than 'a 76 yo man fell down and hit his head and passed away'

Epic laying off 1000 is just another example of how we desperately need labor protections in every industry being profitable is not a bulwark against anything when billionaires only have a 3 minute attention span

if a political system allows half your nation who are on paper citizens to be treated like less than human, that sounds like apartheid to me

people will say 'we're in a post racial society' with a straight face then donate to this kind of guy

Lower back : mom said its my turn to be agonizing Hip : look we booked this last month Shoulder : i dont care Tuesday is my standing meeting Me : fine you can all hurt Lower back, shoulder, hip :

I have never stopped to think I’m actually the asshole #skillissue

Guys im being told “money smuggling” is a crime by this guy

Look, you guys can mock all you want, but an integrated TV mount is actually pretty fucking baller in my opinion

If any of you big account bastards gave mollz shit about anything, you’re gonna meet all of us at the Home Depot

Pitsquishin

I still do not understand what he was promised to give up a 30 year senate grift (he’s made tens of millions already) for this unless he just genuinely wants the chance to shoot immigrants personally

Monster energy, made for monsters

John Roberts : trump isnt our boss and its offensive to say so Also John Roberts : mail in voting is unconstitutional because we just realized it

If they didn’t have intellectual dishonesty maga SCOTUS would have no intellect at all

CNBNS, brought to you by Cinnabon, the first name in delicious news

Gorsuch : what if Dr Who arrives in a TARDIS inside a polling place and scatters ballots and vanishes, only to return in a separate timeline 500 years ago in edwardian england? Would those ballots in his pocket be counted? Jackson : i will beat you to death with this gavel

Harvard admissions officer : under hobbies and interests u wrote “i collect raccoon dicks” RFK jr : yes lmao Harvard admissions officer, sighing : its a good thing you’re a kennedy RFK jr : yes lmao

Security footage inside twitter

US officials asked UK officials for comment

Reminder to tell TSA they’re not getting paid but ICE is getting overtime for those travelling today, be sure to keep morale high and avoid TSA spitting in their break room lunches

Ya think

Pete Hegseth conditionally approves 6G gaming router but only for his house

he looks like a jiffy lube tech trying to explain to an irate customer their suspension is out of alignment

Honestly, I’m genuinely impressed that a chair was not hurledat this guy‘s head the absolute entitlement brain that CEOs have needs to be studied in a lab and the only way we can do that is to get the brain out of their skull first

What none of these fucking platform providers will tell you is the second you start making real money they will alter the terms of the deal so that they get more of the money

Per my last stab

So if the Supreme Court says you can’t count mail in ballots that were mailed before the deadline, what’s to stop them saying kick people in line out of line once the polls close Literally the same thing

They’re all debating which Mexican restaurant to go to lunch at before arresting half the staff

he looks like a jiffy lube tech trying to explain to an irate customer their suspension is out of alignment

so did they do the moana remake in DLSS 5 because oof

so we need to find Linda from Arizona and have her suggest the 25th amendment because apparently she's the only person the administration listens to

They are literally signposting how the US Postal Service can be used to destroy elections in close precincts Just don’t cover staff sickness and vacations and if ballots arrive late oh well nobody could have predicted

The guy is T posing like it’s a GTA glitch

so either he's lying or he's telling the truth and can't stop israel killing people

why do these chairs look like angry superheros

guys we're doin it again

ICE Agents told they have to stand in front of a fire door for 8 hour shifts and don't even get to punch minorities : this sucks bro we gotta find Linda

Its not like middle eastern latin american or russian scholars are needed lately

Reminder to tell TSA they’re not getting paid but ICE is getting overtime for those travelling today, be sure to keep morale high and avoid TSA spitting in their break room lunches

Lindsay Graham seen screaming, crying, throwing up

He’s working hard for the people

he screamed this to the crowd before escaping via hot air balloon, swearing vengeance on the descendants of Spaghetti Factory

If u need me im takin ur mom out for date night