Watched Carry-On last night. Enjoyed it but feel sad that we've been denied the chance to see Taron Egerton's and Jason Bateman's roles played by Kenneth Connor and Peter Butterworth.

"Or as they're now known, Sting".

That's one happy doughnut.

They missed the assassin. Turned up in a 4x4. Opened the boot. Put on a rucksack, grabbed a holdall and purposefully strode away. He was definitely an assassin. Classic assassin behaviour that.

The peace and quiet of the supermarket car park shattered by a new arrival leaving their engine running.

This would have been funnier said in conversation, probably.

We're all just waiting for the program(me) to finish.

The power of Crufts compels you

Embarrassingly, spent far too long trying to remember where I knew this line from. Knew it wasn't 'Livin’ on a Prayer' but I was unable to hear anything else.

Still catching up from yesterday. Wish there was a feature for this. Like just hit a button that says "catch up from yesterday" and then hit make update.

Watching this and thinking of Conor Hourihane's six year old tweet, like a normal person.

One year ago today I had the whim to start this little Bluesky account to keep alive memories of #LeedsOtherPaper - thanks to everyone who has since followed, shared, replied, re-posted and added your own stories. Please keep 'em coming. And tell your mates that the northern star still shines...

'Rising Sun', Blackheath (1942) by Francis Dodd (Private collection; sold by richardtaylorfineart.com)

One of the team at Waitrose once called my food shop packing 'extraordinary' that I took to be a compliment, (because it is actually outstanding). I use the self-service tills now but still invite staff and fellow patrons to stop and admire my genius.

I think Cliff might actually be churning these out under duress. This is basically a hostage photo. Bloke's knackered.

Immediately asked a question over Teams and bottled it. Answered like the consummate professional I pretend to be when really I wanted to let them know I was calling the Coastguard.

From now on, whatever the question, I'm only ever responding with one of the following:

And then just a few hours later, Pope John Paul II died. Shameful.

I was led to believe we'd have hoverboards by now.

Twelve months on Bluesky and when this eventually succumbs to darker forces, I'm definitely, definitely not signing up for the next new, shiny, purest thing.

There is no way you can guess how the thread that ends in this instant classic begins.

Also watched Duel.

Took the gentle teasing of Christmas into the everyday up a notch last night by watching The Man Who Invented Christmas. It's alright and probably the right choice for the final week of November. Too early for the really good stuff. Christopher Plummer's great in it, mind.

Yer man belatedly acknowledging that “This sounds like a dick move...”, in what is already a festival of dick moves.

Been to IKEA It was okay It was OKEA

There are no surprises here. Everyone could see how disastrously this was being handled in real time. That Johnson, Cummings and Hancock will face no consequences, means however damning this report might be, it amounts to no more than a bit of a shrug.

Another stakeout this morning. Looking to seize a shipment of large samosas but they only had the small ones. It's okay, I can wait.

It’s the exclusive everyone wanted, the story that will win next year’s Pulitzer… I can reveal London’s giant AI generated Christmas artwork, the subject of much online mockery, is being torn down - and I honestly *genuinely* think you’ll never guess why. www.londoncentric.media/p/ai-artwork...

This mural has gone up in Kingston, ostensibly for Christmas but AI has ensured it's actually to celebrate the return of our dark lord Cthulhu

Toilet rolls have arrived, so I can finally unclench.

Evri day hurts.

Can't decide whether to post about putting the bins out, having an awkward chat with a door to door coffee salesman or taking a large box to the post office.

Bloody Foreigner, playing in this coffee shop, (not live).

If I was Rob Edwards, I would have simply taken Middlesbrough into the Premier League and then joined Wolves in the summer after they sacked the manager who took over in March after sacking the manager who replaced Pereira, who is now Rob Edwards.

Discretely eating the least admin heavy sandwich available for lunch, but the fear of doing a Miliband remains as high as ever.

First decision of the day: Classic or winter blend? "Uh, classic?"

Update: Still good.

Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...

Columbo in his first episode looks like a dog that's just come back from the groomer

McCartney season is almost upon us. (Christmas tree emoji.)

And Nobby Stiles.

Inspired by a post about football shirt sponsorship, I've finally looked into what Hafnia is. Not disappointed.

Buck Tarbrush is on BBC Breakfast.

This is why we have to wash our hands after peeing and then get the hand soap out again after exiting the facilities. Could save a fortune if all toilets were fitted with revolving doors.

Been on Bluesky for fifty weeks and have just seen, I think, my first, 'Ooo remembers'. It was about getting your camera film developed, which isn't my way of asking Ooo remembers getting your camera film developed.

Delighted to learn this.

Seeing a team meeting put in the calendar for the first week of January followed by the cancellation of tomorrow afternoon's.

I probably need to get out more but I'm always amazed at how tasty a single tiny seed is, be it sunflower, sesame or linseed. Not including pumpkin, (also delicious but massive).

Alan Carr should legit be a spy. Not only did he win Traitors but just by taking his specs off and not smiling he transforms himself into a man with questionable views on Alan Carr