This was such a wild day on Scottish politics Twitter.

In a press conference today about the Johannesburg water crisis, ANC Premier of Gauteng Panyaza Lesufi said residents were wrong to think politicians weren’t suffering too, saying “I had to shower in a hotel”. They are GIFTING this election to Helen Zille.

This Scottish figure skating look………unicorn is the uniform you put on

I suppose one test of post-Morgan Starmer is to see whether he does his usual thing of pissing away the goodwill from this tomorrow by calling the left “anti-meal deal values” or something.

This is an unfortunate, horrible situation. No easy answers here but maintaining contact with an old friend convicted of a crime is surely not the same as campaigning for them to be elected after they are accused.

47 minute video from The Swiftologist on Nicki Minaj’s MAGA transformation?

I just realised that Starmer’s Labour isn’t aimed the median voter - it is a median voter. That’s why none of the policies match up with each other and the one constant belief through everything is that the government is doing a bad job

Matthew Doyle was/is dating Philip Normal????

Hell yeah. (This is an incredible cast of unsung Leigh players)

Fun fact: this is the worst song I’ve ever heard.

Well guess what, Mimi

Drag name: Coco N. Spiriter

a Meta black ops team has abducted Daisy Cooper MP to stop the release of the Nick Clegg Carly Rae Jepsen video

I’m sure this will make everyone get along after the events of the last few days.

Stellan Delroy Sean Benicio Jacob Bonus: Dylan O’Brien (Twinless)

They’ve done him up to look like the fourth-billed star on the poster for a 2013 Jennifer Lawrence sci-fi movie about a world where computer code controls dreams.

Saw this quoted on here, was intrigued, clicked through, started scrolling up, continued scrolling up, thought “there is no way I am going to read all this to get the context for this comment”, kept scrolling up, scrolled up some more, then saw myself at the top of the thread? Love it here.

The necessity of the Matthew Doyle suspension was blindingly obvious weeks ago so it’s rather unbelievable it’s taken this long for Starmer to act. I guess we can add it to the list of about 20 other times it’s taken Starmer ages to act on something that was blindingly obvious weeks before.

It’s fascinating how many of these Labour scandals involve gay men.

Rishi subplot from Industry season 1-2

Is he rebranding to Alistair because Al looks like ai

Geese Tiny Desk! And the setlist is the three best songs on the album! Thank you, NPR! youtu.be/uhbpMCZTe8c?...

They’re releasing the Nick Clegg Carly Rae Jepsen video.

Pretty chuffed with my current placement in the Vulture movie fantasy league

Tag yourself, I’m “a red-green-yellow-troon-loon-ScotNat-Hamas coalition clownshow”

They’re calling Sarwar’s coalition the weirdest of all time.

Beyoncé was in her in rhyme bag with Renaissance. ‘Unicorn is the uniform you put on’ is practically Lin Manuel Mirandian.

Anas Sarwar, Eluned Morgan and Wes Streeting yesterday:

This is a good example of how Grok and ChatGPT have normalised talking to actual people like they're AI chatbots.

A frosty breakfast this morning in the Baker household then. www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/politics/...

At this rate Sarwar's intervention will command the support of every Scottish Labour MP on the 17th March! Comrades, we are on the march.

Don't confuse this with sympathy for Anas Sarwar, but I find the cowardly response from basically every other Labour figure yesterday very cynical and dispiriting. What a dearth of ambition! Screw your courage to the sticking place and DO something.

My feeling about a potential conflict between the MAGA community and the Heated Rivalry fandom is, I imagine, much the same as Belgium’s feeling at the turn of the 19th century about a potential war between the Great Powers. We must stop this from happening.

Just gave a solo standing ovation in my living room to the Italian rhythm dance figure skating pair

What do you mean Ant and Dec were hosting TV programmes in *2002*? How old are they?

Oh come on

Staggering that they’re just going to soldier on with Starmer. Delulu.

“37 seconds of applause for Keir Starmer at the PLP meeting” pack it in, this isn’t the Cannes Film Festival.

Releasing my WhatsApps with my husband which reveal that he cleaned the house

Flop day for Scotland all things considered.

JEN YESSSSS

Need Jen Dodds and Bruce Mouat to lock in.

SARWAR: [loudly] I AM SPARTACUS! [awaiting applause] SARWAR: [quieter] I...I am Spartacus? [crickets] SARWAR: Anyone... Anyone else feeling like Spartacus right now? REST OF LABOUR: lol get a load of Spartacus over there

Sorry, just to be clear, given Anas Sarwar is campaigning to be First Minister of Scotland: the position of Douglas Alexander, Ian Murray and all the other Starmer supporters is that it would be fine to have a Labour First Minister who actively thinks the Labour PM should resign. Cool!

Anas trying to get everyone to support ousting Starmer as a way to defeat Scottish Nationalists.

still nothing from Jackie Baillie in support of Sarwar lmao

Douglas Alexander is both a cabinet member and *co-chair of the Scottish Labour election campaign*. How do you run a campaign when your leader and the co-chair of your campaign disagree on whether the Labour PM should resign? How is that sustainable?

Where are all the messages of support from Sarwar's shadow cabinet? Did he plan this at all?