No you're not

What a horrendous image this conjures up

I refuse to believe that Ben Brereton Diaz is only 26, he seems to have been knocking around for about 15 years.

He's 34 here #totp

How come Top of the Pops is on when it's Saturda... oh.

Just had a message from someone - not a Leeds fan - who's watching Do You Want To Win? and was keen to know who the bloke is in a 'born-again Christian' T-shirt #lufc

So ruddy bloody brave

I see Bristol City are now called Roy Hodgson's Bristol City.

Not keen on the name of this bit, cos we’ve all said the wrong thing under pressure, but there’s some belters here

No sign of this in the club's 'goals against West Ham' video and that, my friends, is completely unacceptable #lufc

Don't LoseYour Head Girls Dick Abroad Matron ITV3 Message ends

"We were just about to drop off when suddenly, 'tap, tap, tap' at the bloody window pane. We looked out, you know who it was?" "Who?" "Bloody Tim Peake."

This is very much my approach to negative feedback #theapprentice

Kieran's cat tree #theapprentice

Task first, you can do your shopping later #theapprentice

Naples' famed cafe culture #raceacrosstheworld

Mark's just jumped off the back of the ferry #raceacrosstheworld

"Who left this coffee cup here?"

RACE ACROSS THE WORLD CASUALS ASSEMBLE

HELLO DAVE www.bbc.co.uk/weather/arti...

Eating some Chewits, like it's the 1980s.

Number of times NATO ended up being mentioned in the speech: zero. Lads, stop acting as his unofficial stenographer service, he's fucking mental

Got to hand it to Carol - that’s a hell of an exit

Artemis, latest scenes

Goodnight

Bad news for the Artemis crew, Simon Calder has just arrived at Cape Canaveral.

The Penguin (Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot) is a villain who appears in American comic books and is primarily an adversary of the superhero Batman

What about young swingers, where do they go?

See also

The 'people' in these videos on Facebook seem quite agitated about the state of the nation

My plans for the Easter weekend

"And in a packed programme tonight, we'll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet."

It's not widely known, but Jurgen had a part-time job at a jewellery store in Bogota

April Wool

This is an interesting* take *absolutely mental

"You're still thinking about the bad news, aren't you?"

HERE HE IS #calderwatch

Ten days off, you lazy bastard

*sends photos to ICE*

Maisie Adam wearing the number 14 shirt for Japan

People slag off AI, but this list of Leeds's appearances in major finals is absolutely spot on #lufc

Fuming here on behalf of Opus

Just realised what the 'attack Iran, cause some chaos, leave with the Strait of Hormuz still closed' strategy reminds me of

What a goal this was m.youtube.com/watch?v=wWxu...

THIS FEELING BY PURESSENCE KLAXON www.cherryred.co.uk/various-arti...

The US Army: "We want you to serve in Vietnam." Trump:

The greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service

Monkey, The Invaders and Bilko, what a time to be alive