obvs agree with this and hbd king but laughing at “his words continue to shape our civic life“ while recalling literally any page from 1982, janine

I love that 1 person has saved this presumably so they can screenshot it back to me when I start doing a bit

Thinking about The Unknown from the Glasgow Willy Wonka experience again

I WOKE UP CHAINED TO A RADIATOR, SURROUNDED BY RUSTY RAZOR BLADES AND DRIED BLOOD. I REMEMBERED THE DRUGS, THE GOSSIP, THE PAPARAZZI. THAT LIFE, THOSE PROBLEMS … THEY SEEMED SO DISTANT. A FIGURE APPEARED IN THE DOORWAY. I LOOKED UP AND FEEBLY CROAKED: “I’M A CELEBRITY … GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

But bits are what they call every non bun food up North!

Whenever you've done eight new bits I'm going to start saying 'that's a byte, that is'

You bun of a bit…

2nd February 2026: Bit Groundhog Day, whatever that day's bits are you have to repeat them over and over for the equivalent of 10000 years

2026: the year of zero bits

Pivot to carrier pigeon. Pivot to smoke signals. Pivot to interpretive dance. Pivot to body language. Pivot to pheromones. Pivot to sounds only dogs can hear.

Pivot back in anger

My choice to #Make_Bluesky_Beautiful_with_Literature today is "Blizzard" by #William_Carlos_Williams. #Bluesky_Literature #poetry #literature #poem

More “Pivots!” than a frustrated netball coach.

Pivot to interpretive dance

Pivot to the hawk's flight, on an empty sky

hey kids let me tell you about another Ross who liked to shout PIVOT

pivot to semaphore

pivot to tables

Pivit to a life. Pivot to a job. Pivot to a career. Pivot to a family. Pivot to a fucking big television. Pivot to washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Pivot to good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.

Pivot to cave painting

Pivot to video. Pivot to text. Pivot to audio. Pivot to smells. Pivot to haptic feedback. Pivot to radiation. Pivot to heat. Pivot to bright colours. Pivot to cold weather. Pivot to atoms. Pivot to gardening. Pivot to deconstruction. Pivot to making bricks. Pivot to voicemail. Pivot to telegraphs. P

Mrs Dalloway said she would host the Hoggers herself.

The Hogg Uncle

The Hoggmeister Bear

Looking forward to a visit from Sweet Papa Hoggers

We're on the Road to Hoggers now!!

Dean Martin watching a double header of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Can't believe it's nearly Hoggers!!

I think he’s long been downplaying the struggle of his working-class upbringing - this level of scrimping doesn’t come from nowhere, it is learned - and rather than deal with the internalised shame of having basic needs go unmet, he’s weaponising her easier upbringing as a weakness of character.

Christina's book pile

is there any way of contacting winnie and shrieking ‘do not have a child with this nightmare of an individual’ directly into her ear until tinnitus sets in

people with christmas money should buy this and read my story and tell me what a genius I am

I NEVER WORRY ABOUT WATER CONSUMPTION. EACH MORNING I DO A 10K RUN. I THEN WRING THE SWEAT OUT OF MY SHIRT, BOIL AND FILTER IT, AND USE IT FOR TEA AND COFFEE AND BOILING PORK PRODUCTS. IN THIS WAY MY WATER CONSUMPTION IS ZERO SUM, MY BODY ACTING AS A KIND OF PERPETUAL STEW. PETER TAKE NOTE!

Film time! Let's watch a film!

This guy is clearly taking the piss; and putting it in the kettle.

The Flush League Tables

That article every week seeing you coming like Prometheus recognising the beating wings of that liver-hungry eagle youtu.be/NRS62nccwmw?...

Employing a cleaner while angrily forcing your girlfriend to abide the constant stench of piss really tips this into "dril candles tweet" territory.

this whole situation is weird but a dishwasher is much more water efficient than washing up by hand and I think someone this obsessive ought to know this. or swap to paper plates.

One time when I was a child I thought I would save water by reusing the water from last night’s hot water bottle to make tea. I poured the water into the kettle and boiled it. Needless to say, the tea tasted like rubber.

"I'm not trying to be controlling, it just comes naturally"

Water usage monitoring time! Let's have a water usage monitor!

From the small amount of info we have on her hair texture I suspect it needs it, but also that she doesn't wash it that often. I don't think she's doing this 30 minutes every day or every other day.

Any time you ask for a glass of water round their house, you end up checking "Peter, what proportion of this is egg water?" And then have a very terse conversation about sticking it to the water companies somehow.