Olga Tokarczuk has been caught spying for Southampton FC

April 1805, Lady Napoleon is now master of Europe. Only the British fleet stands before her—Benches are now Men

Today's guardian cryptic (30,010)

Or if they had been struggling for years with a squad of babies just losing and losing and losing and they just hit their early 20s

Would be more impressed with arsenal winning the league after 22 years if it was the same squad

Feel like having some new discourse as a palate cleanser. I'll start: Philip Roth is YA

It continues:

Live Laugh Love in the Time of Cholera

Wife of Pi

*wild eyed stare* Sausage Plaits of the Caribbean

Jason and Dat Ass-onauts

Irates of the Caribbean

writing tips - poetry edition. supercharge your stanzas, enchant your enjambment, iambic on your pentameter til you rhyming couplet

Of the Callipygean

Pilates of the Caribbean

Planes, Trains, Automobiles & Grogu

Grogu the Hofmeister Bear

That’s incredible. (This refers to a short film I made a lifetime ago) youtu.be/p856CfM64w8?...

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Grogu

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover and Grogu

Thank you for submitting to Big Egg Journal. We are delighted to tell you this piece isn't really working for us, or anyone else for that matter. Do you really think it's working? What a fool! What a rube! Guys, check this shit outl he thinsk the piece is working, or that we might like it!! Come on!

good morning. thought I would share some writing advice that I've found useful over the years. hopefully it will resonate 🙏

It's been a while since I reminded you that I wrote a pamphlet about the cosmological significance of Paul Blart Mall Cop: thebraag.co/product/polb...

Hope this is the edition with the Harold Beaver notes

The best two consecutive pages in any book ever written

Andy Burnham and Grogu

also, Emile Heskey's middle name is Ivanhoe, for what that's worth

What about Equipe des Temps Perdu?

oh yeah, I almost forgot that a young Adrian Chiles once broke his leg playing in goal for a team called Ulysses FC.

tonight's film

The Baltimore Ravens (🏈) are apparently named that because of the Poe poem

The Ragged Trousered Fulhamthropist

Middlemarch United

And Portnoy’s Complaint FC

incredible

I think Queen of the South was a phrase coined to describe Dumfries by a local poet, if that’s in the right realm?

Are Hearts the only team named after a book?

Flicking through films on Amazon and the auto-play bit for the film Possession is the subway scene lmao

Lamb's lettuce

Geddon. The last meal you’ll ever taste

the law. Mmmmmm.

THE STATE

Head of cauliflower, shoulder of pork, leg of lamb, arm of..?

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Not many people know that the original George the Hofmeister Bear adverts were written by Martin Amis