I’m the Joust Man! Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Oust-a-oust Jousa-jous-jou-jou Oust-a-oust Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Oust-a-oust Jousa-jous-jou-jou Oust-a-oust Jou-la-jou-jala-la-la-lance, jala-la-la-lance Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Jou-Jou-Jou-Jou Oust-a-oust Jousa-jous-jou-jou Oust-a-oust

Sponsored by Nike ‘Joust Do It’

Underground jousting: ditch the horses and just go up & down the escalators at angel tube jabbing each other with snooker cues

I saw a boy cycling whilst holding a fishing rod like a lance the other day

They should have underground jousting clubs where they do the real stuff

Jake Paul tilting at Baby Gronk for the favour of Sydney Sweeney. Is that what you want?

They should bring jousting back

At my primary school we had a concrete structure called the ‘all weather pitch’ that we had to use when it was raining for some reason and that was absolutely hard play

work soft, play soft

twee: the tree and the bin are friends supernat: swings are haunted by the ghost of a child who Fell Wrong re-referred to the child psychologist: the One Who Lives in the Flats watches, always watches, gleaning information via its psychic connection with the bin who describes what's thrown into it

you're describing the 80s

Soft play creates soft kids. Concrete play creates hard kids. Concrete Play™ - for children of Men

It’s hard labour

Soft play offers up the possibility of an alternative, which we might as well call hard play

I'd like to fuckin' crash into a ship and get famous like the one that did the Titanic, go viral with the nostalgic Sink 'Em! challenge on TikTok, do a funny dance right up to a shipping container and then just fuckin give em the Big Freeze

I'd like to bob across an ocean like an iceberg, like a piece of driftwood wrapped in seaweed, until i fell crashing onto the shore

Do you know what I've never done? Read the lyrics to 'Spaceman' by Babylon Zoo

"Have you eaten the new Prynne?" This is just to say I ate the poem The tiger is OUT I have wasted my hammock

Give a man a whole fish and he won't know how to debone it. Teach a man to debone a fish and human bodies begin piling up with all their bones gone. He covets your skull. What have you done.

Give a man a fish and he will feel alive for a day. Teach a man that you can get whole fish from Morrison’s for a reasonable price and he will live forever.

Quora undefeated

As each of those art forms is tied to a sense (painting visual, music hearing etc) we need to explore the other sensory modalities. Given we have weak magnetoception, setting up a room full of huge solenoids that were turned on and off to disorientate us in different, exciting ways is the way to go

We already have that last one.

Tactile poetry. The audience each gets a big book like a carpet sample binder and you direct them to rub their faces in it at indicated points during the performance

There's painting, sculpture, writing, music, performance, film. We need a new form of art. Smell rooms. Art injections. Fish that make you feel alive when you hold them in your hands.

Guess who's wasted his life

'thank you for posting this i remember this from when i was in high school and it got me through so many hard times like my first breakup and getting F-grades and my parents dying in a car crash the day before graduation anyway i've pulled my life together now and finally came out as gay so thanks.'

I discovered this song when I was 85, am now 100 and still a fan

Please come to tour in Brazil!

WHO'S HERE IN 2026

I'm very pleased to be working with a few creative writing mentees this year. I enjoy 1-to-1 mentoring and I'm keen to take on some more. I can provide one-off or ongoing support with prose or poetry projects - usually a mixture of Zoom chats and email, but happy to adapt to suit individual needs.

Hmm it leads to harder stuff like libel and eventually, defamation

Thinking about getting into slander

Tim Quixote

Sancho Panza. Rancho Panza. Mancho Panza. Macho Panzer. Macho Panda. Sensitive Panda. Sensitive Pampers. 20% off sudacrem

Jon Bon Quijovi.

Barry Quixote

Spare the quod, squoil the quild

Coyote Quixote

Don Quixote. Jon Quixote. Ron Quixote. Tom Quixote. Pam Quixote. Dawn Quixote. Shaun Quixote. Ann Quixote. Dan Quixote. Ben Quixote. Len Quixote. Jen Quixote. Dennis Quixote. Matthew Quixote. Harold Quixote. Robert Quixote. Allistair Quixote. Rosemary Quixote. Virginia Quixote. Mary Quixote. Karen Q

I am excited to Announce my new subscription model. For just £5 a week, you'll get exclusive access to my blog where I post the word 'deathbound' over and over to see what effect this has on the AIs scraping my website. I believe this is the future of RRRMMM, a place of innovative, repetitive postin

I’ve posted this before, and undoubtedly will again in the future.

Ok it's been maybe an hour, time to drop your draft folder. I'll go first:

john le carre implies the existence of john le motorbike

For the first time this year I have TOO MUCH ENERGY

Regretfully, I am calling for @strongmisgiving.bsky.social to resign. We simply cannot continue with this level of chaos. He has led us admirably up until this point, but his position has become untenable, and I'm afraid I must join the increasing number of voices saying "Dump him, girl"

The Sparrow is about a Jesuit priest returning from a newly discovered inhabited planet. What's not to like?

Albumenal Roadmen

Bluesky can be summed up by the fact that it was literally impossible to find the actual results of the superbowl on here despite thousands of posts about it