Everything's terrible, except for it's the 8th of January, and in just a couple of hours Peter Bleksley kicks off his absolutely bonkers tour of the UK and Ireland. I needed to map it to see if there was a rhyme or reason to his route, but no, it's just as maniacal as it seemed.

Just going my Duolingo in the car park of a Tesco Express on the way to work #highperformance

Great news for everyone at the Motorway Appreciation Society, they're bringing Ringways back

remember, any change of any kind will destroy everything, so never change anything

The Telebugs will return in AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY

Oh what a COLOSSAL fucking SURPRISE

I mean, I’m pretty special. I must have cosmic significance, right? There’s no way I’m just a guy who dies after a while and is immediately forgotten like all 100 billion before me.

Re: 1688, people are saying the Battle of Fishguard aren’t wrong, but the Glorious Revolution was so clean and total that we still live under the same constitution and don’t even really regard it as the Dutch having invaded. Very few coups have ever been that successful, that I can think of

Gill Sans

I see we're all assuming the UK government dealing with the unprecedentedly erratic and aggressive behaviour of our global hegemonic hyperpower is the same as you dealing with that neighbour who keeps parking in front of your house again THIS DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE IT BUT THEY ARE NOT THE SAME

I can now enjoy a Mediterranean diet while I watch those wall-to-wall gambling adverts.

Snowed again. Will snow all week. Welcome back to the working week in 2026

Just watched an Amazon driver walk with my delivery up to the wrong house and not knock on the door before leaving my item in front of their wheelie bin. Just had a photo of it and everything

now, it might seem odd that political commentators who advocated for the uk to leave the eu because of their belief in “the nation state” to be supportive of america’s annexation of venezuela, but what you have to remember is that those people didn’t actually think that, they were lying for money

Well, that’s nice

Just read a thing on Reddit where someone asked why people in England may be reluctant to use a dishwasher and they said they had a stroke stood next to it and so have bad associations with them - we may be on Bluesky but ultimately Reddit remains undefeated

We’re watching celebrity versions of daytime TV quizzes this afternoon, and it’s staggering, genuinely amazing how these intelligent can not know things like when Dirty Dancing was released or where Panasonic comes from? Is this deeply esoteric knowledge? Am I weird for knowing these things?

Scrolling this bloody thing

[Psalm 137:1] By the kebab van on the edge of the business park/ there we laid down and wept when we remembered Zion

Folks, she brought a whole plate of spaghetti to the broadcast center to do her headshot. She then houses that spaghetti. Mattia sips on an espresso during his. Truly the heroes we need during these times.

I can’t add to the near-death list as I’ve never been in a car crash or broken a proper bone, never had an endoscopy or a general anaesthetic, never bled alarmingly from somewhere I shouldn’t or been electrocuted, never had my stomach pumped or needed a transfusion, never been run over or poisoned

Light dusting of #snurr

The big Lego collection has evolved naturally into a Star Wars/1989’s turbo-era motorsport divide

Currently watching Silence of the Lambs for the first time, and though to many it may be regarded as one of the best films ever made, to me it just feels like a long episode of the X-Files, and one of the schlocky, daft non-aliens ones at that #review

Oh, and I got dragged into a fight someone else was having about centrists where the guy was already so furious he absolutely laid into me despite me repeatedly saying I agreed with him until he called me a patronising cunt and blocked me

I enjoyed a Scotch Egg from Cairn Lodge services on the A74(M)

I used to work with someone whose band was on New Faces in 1977. They did not progress beyond the qualifying round or even meet Leslie Crowther

I once brushed past William Hague near Trafalgar Square

Fucking love this film #review

Watched the Mark Gatiss Christmas ghost story, and it was shit - it’s the war for some reason, Tobias Menzies looks uneasy about Joanna Lumley and then a literal monster turns up saying, ‘Ooh, I’m a monster, and I’m going to eat you.’ Load of toss, and I don’t care who knows it #review

House smells of my home-made chicken xacuti spice paste which is absolutely delicious but also hugely frustrating because we can’t eat it until tomorrow

‘My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my Avatar, prepare to die’

Jan has made a Christmas sandwich with cold chicken, stuffing, roast potato, Brussels sprouts, gravy and mayo. 10/10

BREAKING: Local man named in incident causing the deaths of ‘multiple’ After Eights

You will be visited by three spirits

Christmas highlight has been this novelty record player shaped kitchen timer which I had to disassemble and re-align before it would work. Now that’s a *proper* Dad present

Extremely funny to call the pope “holier-than-thou”

Wow, loads of you have met loads of celebrities. I haven’t met a su for one, except if I walked past them in the street. Which we did last time we were in London, where we walked past Ridely Scott and Jan absolutely didn’t believe me to the point of walking back the way we’d came to prove me wrong

Just picking up Mum for Christmas and am reminded of this precious family heirloom - a Delia Smith cookbook signed by Frank Bruno

Have refilled the chilled water tank on the fridge for #Christmas

Second anniversary of our Apple TV’s spectacular attempt to understand me asking for “Hercule Poirot’s Christmas”

How I’m turning up to the Bluesky Christmas Party

The FAFO genie is really working up to the deadline this year, eh?

You just know how much Annunziata Rees-Mogg will enjoy killing all those dogs

I saw someone say recently that you can explain a lot of Internet behaviour by reframing it as everyone being twelve. Well, going by this Trump appears to be seven at the oldest

If this idiot’s response to a pasting like this is anything other than ‘I am giving up baiting professional boxers for clicks’ he wants sectioning

Nice to see the old hometown in the news too @clur.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

2/3 of these plays are @badger5000.bsky.social