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*bangs table* CHAOS WITH ED MILIBAND

0/10, absolutely revolting #dougsreviews

Every office has an executive tier whose emails are like: saw on news , , can we replce complianc dept with web 3 and a worker tier whose emails are like: Dear Jim, First of all, I *love* this idea! Unfortunately, I spoke with Legal and identified a few issues with this approach. For starters…

These emails are also a rare insight into how intellectually mediocre so many of these Great Men are. Literally anyone could be a billionaire I reckon, morons like these couldn’t be trusted to collect supermarket trollies if they didn’t have money. And anyone else wouldn’t be a nonce either

I would not suppose this list is a big list of celebrities who enjoyed abusing children with Jeff, I’d suspect that’s a very small group among the hundreds of names piblished. But the number of people who turned a blind eye for financial/political reasons? That’ll run into the tens of thousands

About time for the BBC to be smashed up in his honour and Nigel Farage to go on Question Time yet again and talk about how great he is, then

I get it that maybe some of our oldest institutions- the BBC, the Labour Party, to name but two - may indeed be old and knackered, maybe it’s sad but natural that they end. But do the replacements - Reform, Prime Video - have to be so viciously shit? How did these snide cunts everyone hates, win?

Poirot is on ITV3 if you want, m8

I read that it sold the NVidia stock to give it to OpenAI, because this isn't at all a giant incestuous Ponzi scheme, no, not at all

i hate james bond. oooh, i just shagged entendre jiggletits. also, my shoe is a gun. fuck off.

Opposition party that is not that far ahead, is deeply polarising, keeps adding *new* polarising positions to its platform - lose Crap government that keeps being crap - lose Rejected and unrepentant former government - lose Smaller parties in the government’s bloc - lose

So how popular would smashing the BBC to please Donald Trump be with the wider electorate? I mean, people by and large like the BBC, or at least an idea of the BBC. And they don't like Donald Trump, like, at all. So I get that Farage and other X-addled madmen will be all in, but who else wants this?

An awful lot of American 90's rock is entirely unknown to me. I know I don't *need * to know the full works of Counting Crows or Live or Pearl Jam, but I feel that hole in my knowledge is there, and I should address it

SHOWTACULAR

Monday

the right winger who was appointed to lead the BBC in the hope of appeasing right wingers has been driven out by right wingers for not appeasing right wingers enough and the BBC has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

I got a response to my Trainline review. Middle class parents reviving old names may have gone too far in this case

Yeah, it’s pretty good

Valhalla

Me flirting

I’m 46, and have seen MML electrification cancelled four times now, I think. How may more times can it be cancelled before I die? I reckon we can make it to at least seven

I know that 70’s yacht rock was being filleted for samples by hip-hop crews from coast to coast a few years after this, but using Why Worry by Dire Straits is a) a bold choice and b) so far ahead of its time as to be genuinely weird

Well that was resoundingly mid by Divine Comedy standards, but by the standards of 1998 it was ambrosia mixed with sunsets and blow jobs #totp

Absolutely no memory of this

You know what, $1,000,000,000,000 probably is too much money

I’m Douglas to customers and strangers, Doug to friends and colleagues and Dougie to my Mum and sister. Anyone straying from these very simple rules is persona non grata. And just FYI, if you spell it Douglass, it isn’t spelt like that in the email header, is it? Do it again, and do it properly

I don’t claim to have tremendous clairvoyance, or even be a particularly good judge of character, but it was absolutely crystal clear that the no.1 driver of Brexit was racism, long long before the referendum itself. Anything else was just delusion and excuses. I saw that, and I’m an idiot

I’m sorry but this move has been obvious from space since the inception of the electric car. Was the expectation that fuel duty would trend to 0 and politicians would just go “whoops, no more vehicle revenues for us 😔”

It's a minor consideration, but the next occupier of the White House is going to have to spend a lot of time, money and effort making it useable again after Don covered it in plastic gold and Live Laugh Love writing to turn it into the kind of tacky dreadfulness exhibition he's comfortable in

Oh look, exactly what needs doing. Loads of other countries do something similar, it's really obvious that those who use or damage roads and roadspace the most should pay the most. The only hitch I can see is that it's political suicide and will end up being another multi-squillion pound PFI fuckup

The haters said they couldn't do it. And they were right. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Now that’s FANCY

We all just watched Mamdani win New York on a really negative, joyless and bleak campaign, after all

[Democrat Campaign HQ, New York, 01:34am] REPORTER 1: Mr Mamdani, Tom Stump from MSNBC, what do you say to Andrew Cuomo after defeating him? REPORTER 2: Jennifer Brine, ABC News, how will your policy of free bus rides affect NYC taxes? REPORTER 3: Chris Mason, BBC News, where's your fucking poppy?

Morgan McSweeny: 'Au contraire'

Read this morning that Zohran #Mamdani founded a cricket team, making him the first democratically elected leader of a global Alpha+ city to have definitely read The Art of Captaincy by Mike Brearley

Celebrating Mamdani’s win in New York by booking a train to that other sharia-law-and-knife-crime hellhole, London

Been watching that girl bands documentary. It’s very good, but the Eternal segments had these weird AI generate captions. What were they for?

TRUMP: If Mamdani wins the NY mayoral election New York will be ‘covered in onions and mustard by the weekend’ *Not bad for a #satire, if I say so myself. It’ll be meaningless by tomorrow morning

Vaxxed?

The milk in the office fridge is on the turn, I repeat, the milk in the office fridge is ON THE TURN

As always, as every morning, Chris Philp can take his brainular output and shove it back up his arse, the contemptible little squirt

Bluesky Americans will be reading this thread with bleeding eyes and ears

Jaipur lamb*, plain naan, half a plain rice, saag aloo * If not available I do also love a chicken dhansak

Monday

Jan has just said ‘I’m going back into the front room to sit by the fire, it’s too cold in the kitchen’. The sheer trickery this film of a fire is pulling is astounding

So they finally invented jizz-proof sheets, then

Curling up beside a roaring fire