Your periodic reminder that every night when you go to sleep you wake up one day closer to everyone and everything you love going away. Anyway, goodnight.

Holy shit you guys, I was today years old when I found out there was a different music video for "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits for the UK. I'm watching Rock Block on MTV Classic and it comes on and I'm like "Shit...did I completely misremember how this music video went?" NO! DIFFERENT VIDEO!

Once again, I need to remind you all that MC Hammer tried to do the whole "hardcore rapper" thing and debuted the new version of himself with "Pumps and a Bump" that is mostly a showcase for his junk in a banana hammock. Seriously. Just really making sure that thing is right in the shot every time.

Here’s hoping she uses her own credit card to rent a car to get there.

🇫🇷 Julia Simon WILL be eligible to return in the second week of the season in Hochfilzen. The means she WILL be eligible for the 2026 Olympic Games as well as the week of racing in Annecy-le Grand Bornand #biathlon

"As a bald person, I think everybody should just embrace their bald." ESPN's Christine Williamson is ready to welcome Jaylen Brown to the club... 😅

The one thing that was totally his idea is the shittiest EV on the market. But sure, AI and robotics will be great.

lol

Bob Ryan:

Hell yeah

In Mexico, I asked Lewis Hamilton about what pet ownership taught him about himself. A simple question... but one with a LOT of baggage in the #F1 paddock. This is your sign to ask your questions, no matter what others think. open.substack.com/pub/deadlypa...

Like the more I think about this the more I'm thinking my 50s are not going to be kind to me.

It was just a matter of time...

Holy shit you guys, Black n' Blue dropped a new single a few days ago and folks...it's really good. youtu.be/Mmor2VwHcRA?...

Sometimes I forget how good this is.

Went to Costco today. Strongly considered purchasing a sauna. Did not purchase a sauna. Please clap.

okay so i have learned two things today...i'm sorry: i thought the doobie brothers was a Black band and found out at 42, mostly they are not. i had no idea jehosaphat was an actual biblical figure and not something yosemite sam just mumbled when he was mad.

Live, love fascism

I mean listen, if as a 4-14 team you can pick up the head coach of a *checks notes* 5-13 team, and make him both the head coach AND GM, you need to pull the trigger.

It also becomes the bobsled, skeleton and luge app in about 2 1/2 weeks.

We have seen him run twice. He is going undrafted

“Hey I lost my tire and I’d like to get a replacement” Mechanic: “what do you mean you lost your tire?” … “oh wow you lost your tire”

A reminder that I've turned on paid subscriptions for my "Deadly Passions, Terrible Joys" Substack! I'm in between roles at the moment, so this is a great opportunity to directly support a motorsport journalist and historian 🫶 deadlypassionsterriblejoys.substack.com/p/nascar-doe...

There are animals in Animal Kingdom. There are animals in the show.

The whole performance is here, and goes really, really hard.

found some!! ✨

The solution to the male loneliness epidemic is attending a local Democratic Party canvassing event.

“Ken why were you 17 minutes late this morning?” Reasons, man…

one time pitcher john denny knocked reggie jackson down with a brushback pitch. next time up reggie blasted a moonshot home run off him. denny kept chirping at him as he rounded the bases and wouldn't stop, so reggie stepped on home, charged the mound and beat his ass. andrew cuomo is john denny

I will say as a 38 year old that 34 is young and 38 is old so good luck to Zohran on this four-year descent into “fuck I’m old”

UMass gets a taunting penalty. They're down 34-10.

I can only imagine that reading this news is as devastating for Cuomo fans today as listening to Fairweather Johnson was for Hootie and the Blowfish fans in 1996

Lighted golf course? Keep it open 24 hours. Call it the GOFFLE HOUSE.

Update: Doing that golf

Let’s do that golf

The Jets appear to be tanking for a college QB who does not presently exist

I mean I get it. That's just too much time in Cary.

Is it illegal to wear a suit of armour in Parliament in your country?

Me, working on my business degree: "Unfortunately, we must introduce accounting"

This is really important to me

im sorry, the spicy *what* in lamb burger?

Did show why they called him Hammer

Hey! You guys remember when MC Hammer decided he was going to be a hardcore rapper and decided that the best way to do that was to sing about asses (proven method) and pack his junk in a banana hammock (definitely not a proven method)? Anyway, here's Hammer's bulge for all to see.

I have this shirt.

Each of the 4 box designs is beautifully illustrated by Italian artist Marianna Tomaselli. They showcase the thrill of winter sports against the backdrop of Italy's iconic landscapes. Within it, a unique pasta shape inspired by the Olympic rings: a symbol of unity 📎 www.olympics.com/ioc/news/100...

👏 Great communication idea of our colleagues to create Olympic Rings Pasta to celebrate the next chapter in Olympic Winter Games history: the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics. The pasta pays homage to the spirit of Italy with its timeless design, craftsmanship and passion.

Hammer : Banana Hammock :: Will Smith : Camouflage Vest