This is why they could never make me hate you, Emily Henry.

There's an episode of TNG where Beverly teaches Data to dance, and she says "Why don't I teach you a style of dancing they'll do at a wedding? Computer, play—" and I wanted with all my SOUL for the next words to be "Back That Azz Up"

I swear to god if I spent months anxious about going to Paris only to have this trip canceled bc dipshit couldn’t be stopped from starting a war as he dies

The theory, practice of morals of it are important …… But the way I will not be ever able to forgive people for picking on these lil girls I don’t have a policy recommendation, because right now You’re making babies STRESSED and not enough adults are getting punched about it

Quick question: why is there not a romance category on HBO? I know y’all have enough content to fill it out. Why is it not organized?

He isn't Jeff Wholegamely folks

Read what you want, darlings, but it's odd when books that happen to feature sex are treated as radioactive and those about murder are treated as general interest.

Lol block me for your own shitty behavior. Loser.

As a general rule if someone is talking about being single you don’t need to reply with “as a married person” about god damn anything

I’m gonna disagree with your first point here bc why was this a thing you needed to say

If I’m back to reading romance novels and watching romcoms in 2026 in going to need dudes to be roughly 30% less shitty across the board so I can have crushes again

Might watch people we meet on vacation again, really torture myself

Hey we heard you have executive dysfunction so we created a giant bureaucratic maze and we're gonna put your executive dysfunction meds at the end of it. maybe.

this one has some good meme potential

forgetting the word Domesticated and telling people at this party raccoons have gotten "more coachable." at some point i start adding "over the offseason" which i don't think raccoons even have yet

It's almost like bag policies are sexist and not actually about keeping us safe and that rules are enforced imperfectly. But he could just be really clever. I'm sure that's it.

"They want an excuse to fire on protesters." "They're looking for a reason to declare martial law. Don't..." Ah. See, they're already doing and saying whatever they want. They're putting people in camps and murdering people at will. Our behavior doesn't drive theirs.

I’m writing a remake of Fight Club where everyone obeys the goddamned rules and doesn’t talk about it, so the membership doesn’t grow. Then it’s just a movie about a group of incels beating each other to death in a basement. So it’s a feel-good comedy is what I’m saying.

Oh my god I saw a completed LEGO Eiffel Tower and I was just not registering how huge a $630 LEGO set would be but also how badly I would *need* it

Let’s watch a movie that will fuck us up while I build legos and eat baked brie for the hundredth time

If you are anxious and sad about the state of the world, that's fine, and there are plenty of strategies for dealing with that. But I think you already know that drive-by online dooming isn't a strategy. It's selfish and adolescent. It's a contagion that only spreads the worst of you, not the best.

ACC Huddle, the only ESPN pregame show that still has the mandate of heaven

The past couple days have made it clear that arresting and prosecuting Johnathan Ross isn’t just the right thing to do, it is necessary to prevent future violence by ICE who have interpreted the situation as “we can do that to whoever we want”

Hold please for my panic

I will be in Paris in 69 days

Safe to say, we are all tired of ice

This lady looks like she rolled a 1 on a dexterity check for putting on pants

if only there had been a movement and momentum several years ago to downsize police budgets, clear out the white supremacists and de-militarize local law enforcement

once again we are all tapping the sign

I’m kind of over the whole “America is bad, at least my country is good” as if the rise of a xenophobic right wing isn’t a broadly Western problem and every country tut-tutting about the US’s fall doesn’t have a failing neoliberal order constantly in tug-of-war with The Racism Party

rare to see an american politician speak in these terms and it rocks

this

Love asshole brain 🙃🙃🙃

they've got Raffi calling for regime change. something has shifted.

“A beautiful 80° October day”

“make big tech afraid” has to be just as much of a priority as “prosecute the criminals of the previous regime” for the next Dem admin the tech fascists are way too far out over their skis and what remains of global stability will not survive that state of affairs continuing

I can’t join ICE because I once gave a woman an orgasm 😔

Traitors time

I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put em

they made a whole website for people who used to carry their backpacks with one strap only

There are two types of blue maga bullshit that I absolutely can’t stand and they’re both reply guys which makes them extra annoying. Your snarky or dooming comments don’t belong at the end of every skeet you fucking weirdos

This is a guy who has his dream job. And there’s only one of those positions in the world. Yet he’s still speaking out and risking reprisal. Where are 90% of the others in entertainment, music, movies etc?

I haven’t forgotten my roots god damn it. But it’s a good reminder to go ahead and get in contact with Georgia STOMP to see if I can be more effective than just throwing cash at them from a fundraiser they weren’t expecting lol

You could take a purse to sporting events

Y’all ready for a throwback?

Number of out of conference wins in the 2025-26 Bowl Season. Miami: 3 (chance for 4) SEC: 2

love having that game on a thursday because the network that influences everything from conference realignment to coaching changes won't even try to compete with an amazon prime exclusive wild card game

Miami winning the National Championship before they win the ACC would be the most on-brand Miami/ACC experience.

We are righting cosmic wrongs here with my heretical conference chest thumping