my god this is too much news for one day

I dream of a day when corporations have to reapply for every tax break, contract, and grant every six months, with a requirement that it is the CEO who must complete the paperwork, and attest under penalty of law that they personally did so.

ever since 2017, Trump Term Fridays just routinely outdo themselves for batshittery every goddamn week

If the NYT told the story of the homeless teenager exploited by Matt Gaetz with even half as much empathy as it tells the story of Olivia Nuzzi, it would be in danger of committing journalism.

Every rooftop--and I mean EVERY rooftop--should be required to have at least one solar panel And every big-box store and warehouse and data center should be required to have a rooftop completely covered in them

there's something culturally relevant about a collective intelligence assembled without consent purporting to provide happiness but instead causing misery but AI can't put my finger on it...

when politics and sports collide... If our Very Special Boy President launches a war against Venezuela for some goddamn reason...how many Venezuelan baseball players say "fuck it I can't play in the US while this happens"

gonna be some shit if the most consequential person of the 21st century is some sub-literate doofus who befriended a dipshit who eventually became the president of the United States bc they both liked fucking 16-year-old kids

without giving Pluribus spoilers...oh the things I would do

welcome back. if you're just joining us, nazis are defending pedophiles

"I just want you to plan something" "OK, [place] at [time]" "no"

BREAKING: Researchers at the Sammy Hagar Research Institute discover Second Way To Rock

when the most notorious childfucker in history thinks YOU'RE the worst person in the world

well we know he feels no shame and would never resign, so maybe keep up the pressure and let rage and stress do their magic

the thing I like about this is that if anyone had set out to fake these emails to incriminate Trump they wouldn't have written like a damn toddler

any one of these emails could've ended a career as recently as like 20 years ago

Seriously...had to walk off a job today because a tenant was so obnoxious I couldn't take it anymore. She did her own research and could not stop letting me know that

a normal person when you tell them you have a box of information that says they're a pedophile: OK open the box Donald Trump when you tell him you have a box of information that says he's a pedophile: I WILL GO TO THE SUPREME COURT TO PREVENT YOU FROM OPENING THAT BOX

I am extraordinarily loathe to endorse ideas which first present themselves as a conspiracy theories, even if they align perfectly with my priors. Maybe especially if they do. But, um, this one is starting to drift into the realm of the plausible even for a skeptic like me. bsky.app/profile/ksch...

Whoever coined the phrase “the customer is always right” didn’t know shit

BREAKING: Researchers at the Sammy Hagar Research Institute discover Second Way To Rock

the only thing democrats should be saying today is “the entire republican party is engaged in a coverup of the most notorious child sex trafficking ring in world history”

who needs health insurance subsidies, we have various vegetables and tubers that can align our humours

and y'all thought burrito taxi discourse was going nowhere

guys...pitchers and catchers report in three months

looking forward to driving 2 hours tomorrow to tell someone that no, I don't care what the mold dog pointed at

repost with an iconic fictional band

ok that's the best progressive "backup" commercial I've seen

if an NFL game goes to halftime 0-0 the second half should be sudden death

If you like scoring, and you like Monday Night Football, you may be entitled to compensation

I can't think of a more easy layup vote for a Democrat than "legal CBD and weed" and still these dipshits fuck it up

I'll get back to "party unity" as soon as the Senate Minority Leader tells us if he voted for the Democratic party nominee for mayor of his city. I'm tired of party unity only ever running one way.

that was a very weird-sounding national anthem and by weird I mean not great

free idea for aspiring Democratic candidates: run on a platform of banning banner ads that expand at the exact millisecond you try to click on a link

I hope he never, ever, EVER sees the inside of that ballroom

love the drake

The Cold Weather Enjoyer is having a nice day, thanks

free idea for aspiring Democratic candidates: run on a platform of banning banner ads that expand at the exact millisecond you try to click on a link

we officially have snow flurries in Atlanta on November 10th

I'm also physically incapable of playing Major League Baseball but I'd be down to make league minimum for a season if anyone is interested

ordering more CBD before it makes me a felon

Good. Fuck her

whenever it actually happens, we're one day closer to it

absolutely stunning that we have to literally beg for healthcare from people who have no goddamn idea what the concept of insurance even *is*

"And we're happy to announce that we're voting to open the government despite the fact that the last month of suffering has yielded zero concessions from the ruling party!"

why do the politicians we pay to do politics not understand the politics that we, the people who pay them to do politics, very clearly understand? we all see the Lucy-and-the-football meme coming several light-years away and every time it's like they're seeing it for the first time