BRAVES WIN

deeply grateful to have paid for a streaming service that goes into buffering hell at least twice during the only program the streaming service exists to stream

ol' Riley 2-bombs

the guy who wanted to do serious meetings on jet skis or at soccer games? that's crazy

MONEY MIKE

I currently would like Martin Perez to remain a Brave for the entire year

GRUNGO KUMHO, I say, watching a baseball game

Austin challenge a pitch challenge

largely bc of the Braves offense in the early going I'm currently sitting in first place with 98 points in an 11-team 5X5 rotisserie fantasy league and if you've ever played in one of those you know how absurd that point total is

just settling in to a Braves game after finishing my errands and wondering if I missed anything OH LAWD

Bad: global warming Good: April pool day

the thing about "career politicians" is that politics is absolutely a career you can be good at

the showrunners of The Boys must've been beside themselves watching the headlines of the past couple weeks

as a Messick fantasy owner do I WANT them to send him back out in the 9th at 106 pitches?

ah, there's the "look at me shooting a gun!" commercial from Brad Raffensperger god I hate all these weirdos so much

"the ballroom is deeply important to our national security" someone's not planning on leaving

ow my hip

not sure any website is going to be able to withstand the internet joy when It Happens but this one is definitely not

christ almighty everyone's brain is cooked stop asking Stupid Google questions

so this could be interesting, Raisel...

Osvaldon't Bidon't

*ska music intensifies*

genuinely wonder if there's an MLB edict to not say the word "racism" during this broadcast

love the drake

AUSTIN

Paddack out of the game...probably heading to some sort of small fenced-in enclosure to await his next race

I believe that's a...DUBBLE play

DUBIE DOES IT

OZHAINO

Ronald is just about to break out, I say, again

and he pitches right out of it

in a few minutes I get to make that call to see if I have to show up for jury duty in the morning

all this handwringing about GenX and Why We're Like That and nobody has mentioned the very obvious reason: we all were told, as teenagers or young adults, that You Oughta Know was about Dave Coulier and absolutely nothing can bring you back from that abyss

Ocean's Eleven is quite possibly my favorite movie of all time...at least top 5, but: I really wish studios would go after new stories and potential franchises and not beat existing ones to death

You guys Lookit Lookit They’re here

Did not realize that The Usual Dipshits are exploiting this murder but it really seems that they are exploiting it lots of "immigrant naturalized by Joe Biden" ledes

“We know we are very diverse and it’s great because everybody embraces it. It brings us together. I just think everybody embracing it, and not imposing, but just sharing our culture with everybody, think that’s what makes us great.” hell yeah, dubie 🫶 www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

This is good. Will it remove him from office? Almost certainly not. but talking about his fitness for office every day makes it the story

omg you guys they're engaged

Happy Unreadable Timeline Because You Follow MLB Transaction Bot Day to all who celebrate

one of the many things I love about baseball is how Dominic Smith, a guy I used to actively root against bc he was a Met, is now someone I would go to [figurative] war for cc: Joc Pederson

If you are seeing this, it’s too late.

GAME OVER

And the stadium exhales

DOM MOTHERFUCKIN SMITH

The Marlins may have the Devil Magic

Apparently all the action this season will happen while I’m eating

Love the drake

That’s a bit better