Look, it makes strategic sense; if Venezuela has huge reserves of teenage Latin American beauty pageant contestants, then access needs to be secured to that supply, if necessary using military force.

So it's starting to look like the US has kidnapped Maduro to prove that (a) the affordability crisis is a myth, (b) there's nothing to see in the Epstein files, and (c) Trump aced his cognitive tests.

Any word from Nigel Farage on whether he thinks the UK Prime Minister would be within their rights to launch a war without consulting parliament, the people, or the UN?

I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war

It's a dark day when you start to think that even Gianni Infantino, President of FIFA, is not an infallible judge of global military ethics.

George Martin would have been 100 today. Here he is characteristically being both musical and stylish.

Trump is bombing Venezuela without the support of Congress, his base, the American people, or the international community. He is a pathetic, desperate little man.

I guess there must be something REALLY Incriminating in those Epstein files. #venezuela

Remaining on X is simply unsustainable now.

I thought he’d been a bit quiet.

In other news, Donald J Trump’s doctors have asked him to take three separate cognitive exams. Which I’m sure is fine.

Well I should think so too.

I’ve never seen a better image of “proud parents” than this of Zohran Mamdani’s parents at his inauguration.

New book reminds me of something.

Now that it’s over and done with, i hope we can agree that 2025 was a silly mistake and we must never speak of it again.

So Gen Z are “not attracted to fascists”. Wow they are sooo picky!

Nice piece on the BBC website about our British Theatre Before & After Covid report.

Okay so 2026 is bringing SZHHHFC FIZNB KUAHNO My Klingon friends are super pumped for me

My review of the theatre year 2025.

To judge by the sudden shout of “oh fuck you, toast” coming from the kitchen, @lilsy.bsky.social’s attempts to make a light evening snack is maybe not going all that well.

This Christmas I find myself puzzled that whoever wrote Little Donkey could write such a good b-section (‘Ring out those bells tonight…’) when the a-section is so dull. #truth #fearless #iconoclast

JUST RELEASE EPSTEIN DOCUMENTS THAT MENTION DEMOCRATS AND THEN STOP is eerily similar to 2020’s JUST COUNT REPUBLICAN VOTES AND THEN STOP

You know how some people use 'literally' to mean 'not literally'? The same is happening to the word 'officially' .

THEATRE QUIZ: what show am I about to see?

Second anniversary of our Apple TV’s spectacular attempt to understand me asking for “Hercule Poirot’s Christmas”

“Write what you know”

And so it begins...

Three minutes till my play. Put out of office signs on your front door, warn relatives not to contact you (suggested wording: 'do not disturb, am in audio heaven'), tell postal workers to wait, put out the cats.

Only 15 minutes to go. Warm up the valve set! Let down the blinds! Stop all the clocks! Cover the birdcage! Adopt a receptive mental attitude!

This is your ONE HOUR warning! My new play is on Radio 4 in ONE HOUR. Described as "Superb, hilarious, and thoughtful" by none other than Nelson Mandela [can we check this?] so you'll want to listen.

A reminder that in less than three hours’ time the year’s best radio play (yes it is shut up) is on Radio 4. PLUM IN PRISON at 2.15 stars Stephen Mangan as PG Wodehouse getting into a spot of hot water at the hands of the Nazis.

THEATRE QUIZ: what show did I see this evening? (There was no WiFi in the theatre)

Morning everyone. I’ve got a new play on tomorrow (Tuesday) and on @bbcsounds.bsky.social thereafter. It’s about PG Wodehouse’s war and it’s a comic defence of laughter in dark times. BBC Radio 4, 23 Dec, 2.15pm.

I’m gonna say that if you’re more receptive to an idea when it’s delivered in the voice of Adolph Hitler, you’re a racist asshole.

PSE Burglary equipment is by the toilet. REPEAT: Burglary equipment is by the toilet.

THEATRE QUIZ: what show am I about to see?

Can I just say: I’m a Professor of Theatre and even I know how wrong the maths is here.

It's a bit late for this year, but if they do it again in 2026, I can thoroughly recommend the Taskmaster Advent Calendar! You have to complete tasks to figure out which window to open the next day. Huge fun!

We went carol singing in a local square last night and, for the first time, I noticed that the lyric to 'While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks' contains both 'forthwith' and 'henceforth', as if the lyrics were drafted by someone in middle management.

EVERYONE: The War on Drugs and the War on Terror were two of the least successful policies of recent decades. THE WHITE HOUSE: So let’s combine them.

I’ve been appalled and disgusted by Trump for a very long time but his response to the Reiner murders has shocked me almost to tears. Is there no end to his malice? There’s a real darkness to that post that is frightening.

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

THEATRE QUIZ: what show am I about to see?

If there were any doubt, Trump has just confirmed that he is an unapologetically and unforgivably disgusting human being.

Very upset to hear that Rob Reiner and his wife seem to have been murdered. Spinal Tap, Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men, and Misery all masterpieces of their respective genres. How many movie directors ranged so widely and with such authority and understanding?

For the record, Robin Ince is a superb comedian, an absolute mensch, a remarkable thinker and the kindest human you’ll ever meet. And the BBC is a genuinely great and globally unique institution that needs to stop being afraid. I think that’s where most of its faults and issues stem from.

I'm bewildered by the BBC's treatment of @robinince.bsky.social. When listening to a brilliant comedian trying to make quantum superposition funny and accessible who cares about their (humane) political views? Robin Ince is one of the truly, wholly good people & this is a terrible loss to the Beeb.

This morning on the way to school, I was talking with our 9yo about self-driving cars and AI and at one point he asked me 'do you think self-driving cars can ever get lost?' and I've been thinking about it ever since.

A day for celebration! Technology has finally solved that impossible riddle: how to bring up a baby.

Don’t. Spill. A. Drop.