Busy weekend ahead on social media, criticising the appearance of celebrities I don’t like and pointing out how they’ve aged.

One huge fart.

Elon Musk was right. This is the scene in the Cotswolds right now.

A fuckwit writes

Thanks to an autocorrect error, I’ve just started a War On Terry.

I’ve got the horn.

@mattleys.bsky.social I see they’ve named a coat hanger after you.

Big boy just found a mirror.

Me, reading your posts.

What a fucking spoon.

Tylenol Lawsuit? I’ve all of their albums.

“Very hard IQ test”

I’m not convinced that putting Reform MPs in television adverts would increase any sales.

According to racists, it’s racist to call racists racist. Makes you think.

Put my clocks back so far I’m posting last year’s putting my clocks back post again.

I just did the international sign for ‘Can I have the bill please?’ and the waiter brought me a stylophone.

Dalek!

Busy weekend ahead on social media watching videos of heroic ICE agents pointing their guns heroically at unarmed civilians, like the heroes they are.

I can see why he would want more ballroom.

I for one did not see this coming

As metaphors go, it’s the most metaphorical of metaphors. Some say the greatest.

Pretty pleased with my first day as head of security at the Louvre.

Only kids who are members of Hitler Youth.

Directed by David Lynch.

Pretty pleased with my first day as head of IT at Vodafone.

Huge if true.

If you could please do us a favour and RT (or whatever it is on here) my writing CV I would be extremely grateful. I am a very capable writer of words, mainly “humorous”’ and if you have some PROPER paid work for me, please DM me. Thank you for your time www.mathew-owen.co.uk

Someone took a shit in a lift.

Got my Antifa membership card this morning. Looking forward to the AGM.

@mattleys.bsky.social I see you’re making T-shirts now.

I’d rather find a vegan tampon in a men’s toilet than discover Nigel Farage dropping a log.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!”

“They’re giving you the Piss Prize.”

Babies are stored in the placenta. Pee is stored in the balls. That’s science.

If they gave a Nobel Prize for being a felonious sex nuisance who whines like a constipated toddler about getting the award, I know who I’d give it to.

Conservative Comic Con cosplay. Robert Crumb, Dr Combover Neckbeard, evil mutant, FBI agent.

Another day

Just before the giant monster Trump bit his head off.

Conservative Party conference in one image.

Let’s aspire to ignorance.

He’s visiting the Village People now.

Still waiting…

I’m not interested in Taylor Swift’s spats. I prefer a comfortable brogue.

Busy weekend ahead looking at videos of people shouting at other people on Instagram.

Motivational.

“Don’t call racists racist” says racist.

Wait until he sees who’s President.

What a caaaant.

Busy weekend ahead posting incredibly rude comments to complete strangers on Facebook.