we’re back baby and we’re talking about Roman concrete @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

even during this alarming heat, it is great to see the normally intra-hostile European nations come together to enjoy an international tournament of a beloved sport (getting mad at and yelling at yanks)

I would like to add to the Everyone is Twelve theory. God is Two. I realised this this morning when i was transferring the week’s berry money & freezing toys for my son to ‘rescue from the ice’. Adults are the cogs in the machinery of human life, 2 year olds determine the number of teeth. God is two

3 Lions contains a subliminal anti-riot population pacification phrase

it’s so hot that i started trying to write a post suggesting a staged debate format where it’s me versus 20 sun gods, couldn’t get the wording right so started to cry instead

If you enjoyed "Rome" - and you should, because it's probably the best historical TV series ever made aside from "Deadwood" - give it a rewatch with @phoeberoi.bsky.social and @miloedwards.bsky.social and myself on Masters of Our Domain! www.patreon.com/mastersofpod

no one wants to admit this but children’s literature is riddled with pro-giant propaganda. it is time for a more honest appraisal of giants, who are at best a mixed bag

It’s Suetonius hour, and the gang is addressing Vitellius, alternatively known as the Boris Johnson of the year of the 4 emperors @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

look i don’t want to be ungracious but i don’t care for safonov. He looks like a rejected musketeer.

a medieval pox on the so-called women’s health nhs physio who i saw for some birth injury stuff & told me off for saying i went to the loo whenever i found one because i had to learn that ‘it’s just perception’, and ‘there are lots of public bathrooms, you could go to mcdonalds’.

hear me out: calippo with 30g of protein

this is a test, a test from God, who wants me to show my strength of spirit in not spending a beautiful bank holiday monday firing off the most rattled WELL ACTUALLY quote posts, i will succeed, i will prevail, i will trium-

The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.

you’re laughing? Haaland is being forced to reveal the truth of his obscene 2nd place centaur legs and you’re laughing??

look this is a niche complaint but i have to put it somewhere: Why in fuck does every bit of free physio, osteo etc content have the creator dicking around with a demo skeleton for the first 3-10 minutes. put the bones down graverobber, and show me how to make my neck not hurt

I used to think that the inner circle of dictators were pathetic losers who needed to get a grip, but my 2 year old just forced his father & i *in front of company* to perform an impromptu a cappella jazz improv piece while he bellowed different instruments at us which we’d then have to approximate

i think enough time has passed that we could revive ‘welcome to my TED talk’ but as a sort of idle sentence padder, like saying ‘ah bon’ in french

the fuck kind of disrespect is this??? that is our king

about a hundred years ago one of our tutors told us that the accent your average 6th century person (this is when the versions we have were probably written down) would be used to was a sort of ‘sing song, like Swedish’ so that’s what Nolan should have done

it must feel amazing to be a goose and plonk into the water for a little float and a honk

MCU post credits scene where Boxer really has gone to live on another farm, he winks at the camera & then whinnies & canters away to run a crypto exchange

5 AM Going back to the Suetonius for more Caesar linktr.ee/mastersofpod @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social

did you know that recent moon astronaut Christina Koch’s middle name is Hammock

at any moment in time my son *must have* an admiring entourage of deeply broody geezers calling him the big lad on left back, elderly greek men insisting he has a ‘greek spirit’, bin men, construction workers &coffee shop nose-ring boys who pretend to give him espresso or he will fall into a decline

you have exactly the same number of hours in a day that Wat Tyler had

For Phoebe’s Tudor Corner Mission Creep, we watched 1998’s Elizabeth, and discussed blouses, uncles, 90s heartthrobs, scheming bisexuals, la putain connivé etc and so forth @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

if you watch the sneako vid it’s so funny, it’s like watching someone trying to give eye medication to an angry cat

i feel like no one is interested in talking about how Justin Trudeau is dating the false anthropoid Katy Perry that came back from space, and that’s very isolating

the thing is is that the I Have The Exact Same Information That You Do people can never defeat us (the ‘who’s that. what does he want’ people) because they fail to understand that our love for asking unanswerable questions about movies is stronger than any other force on earth

Hunted into exile by the provisional wing of the Royal Society for my explosive paper titled “if energy can only be transferred and not created then how do you explain my toddler son“

the most fitting tribute to Mel Brooks in the lead up to his century i can think of

this morning i said ‘going round the back of the moon, anyone want anything’, and my husband ignored me so i said it again but louder in case he hadn’t heard, and now the toddler is saying ‘moon. moooooon’ like a tiny orc hypeman directing a siege. Mother Victorious

in this house we have a feminist praxis: every month or so my husband rearranges the entire fucken kitchen so i have to send 37 messages a day asking him where he has hidden the scissors or to explain his eldritch tupperware filing system

We A’d Your Q’s! @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

Richard Lionheart found fuming

The lads are fiddling as Rome burns - it’s time for Suetonius’ Nero (baby) @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

everything i learn about graham platner and his little bosom tattoo there seems more and more the scene from austin powers where he is confronted with more and more damning evidence that he is indeed the owner of the swedish penis enlarger pump (‘one book by graham platner entitled my totenkopf-‘)

send in Big Sam

my theory: plastic bottle tops being attached to bottles so you can’t enjoy your delicious milkshake without pouring most of it down your neck are a plastics company psyop to make people think ‘you know what, fuck the oceans’

they should get isaac chotiner to do a guest spot on sesame street

The boys are back in town, and they’re considering Boudicca @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

She's like an old samurai whose great battles are behind her but every once in a while she kills a man with piece of paper just to prove a point

Ploughing on with Suetonius, it’s Claudius o clock @miloedwards.bsky.social @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod

Matt Goodwin found in waterstones furiously gnashing through the books like the chimps at the start of 28 Days Later

i would like to direct everyone to my idea for Beavis & Butthead Wilderness Trips (ideasforfixingcontemporarymasculinityFINAL.exe)

i do not need to tell you how excited i am to get this project up & running 🫶

A Very Good Episode (also great news, misjudged where my camera was so you can only see the back of my head and my bisexual lighting. I am both efficient and glamorous)

not usually surprised by the American Mode but it has honestly never occurred to me that ‘reckon’ might be a charming down home sort of word

mailbag time, & the two Ps answer some of your questions about the 12 Caesars so far, plus the usual theorising on the Pope’s game, muppets, the founding of a New Essex in the Latvian forests etc @patrickwyman.bsky.social @phoeberoi.bsky.social @miloedwards.bsky.social linktr.ee/mastersofpod